Talk:Developmental regulation of lactase expression in mammals
This article is currently the subject of an educational assignment. |
Team 13 Review
[edit]1). The introduction of the article is effective in giving an informative overview of the article so that the reader knows what to expect. It clearly defines what the article will be about. As far as grammar, I do not really see any major problems. I only suggest that you change:
• “This article elucidates and explains the biological history and underlying causes of this phenomenon, [ DELETE (as well as) SUBSTITUTE (and) ] how these changes have become prevalent across the globe.”
I just feel as though it flows better as an academic article, but feel free to leave as it is; It’s probably only a matter of opinion and not grammatically incorrect.
2). Suggestions for the subtopic Biological causes:
• “In the current day, lactase persistence is common in northern and western Europeans [ DELETE (as well as) SUBSTITUTE ( , )] Africa, and the Middle East.”
• “In the current day, lactase persistence is common in northern and western Europeans [ DELETE (Europeans) SUBSTITUTE (Europe)] Africa, and the Middle East.”
• “As dairying spread, those that had the trait furthered their advantage [ DELETE ( , ) ] thus spreading to a commonality in the regions where farming was pasteurized.”
3). Correction under the subtopic Underlying causes:
• “Furthermore, [ DELETE (in studies,) SUBSTITUTE (studies show that) ] only 8 cases were found where the parents of a child with lactase persistence were both hypolactasia.”
4). Corrections under the subtopic Evolutionary advantages:
• “The analysis process consisted of plotting extensive linkage disequilibrium [DEFINE] of ancestral and current alleles.”
• “The researchers were able to conclude that the score did in fact reflect positive selection of lactase persistence. It has also been reported that lactase [ DELETE( ]] ) ] persistence presents stronger selection pressure of any other known human gene.”
5.) Overall, I do not see any major problems and I feel that you guys did a good job with the article. You guys made the topic very interesting and I didn't get bored while reading it at all. I do suggest that you guys try to work on adding pictures or sketches of enzymes, genes, chromosomes, etc. for the second draft just to jazz it up a bit. You could also add data tables with statistics and such. The body of the article goes well with the introduction, meaning you guys did a good job starting the article with such a strong intro. It could also be a good idea to add a small paragraph in the end summarizing the most important facts, it's not necessary, again probably a matter of opinion. I would say that If I were a researcher and happened to come across this article I would definitely find it informative and appropriate for the audience of Wikipedia and I would definitely go back to refer to the article if necessary.
6) The sources are accurate so that's good
7) One thing to consider changing is where a few words are written in blue throughout the article, since they have their own wiki pages. For instance, I noticed that "Lactase" was not given a link to its own wiki page until the "Evolutionary Advantages" Section. This is just an example, and should be okay since you defined lactase in the introduction paragraph. However, there are other words such as "Phenotype" or the page for "zygosity" which may be beneficial to give external links to in the article so people who are new to biology can easily see what these words mean.
Team 13 second Review
[edit]For the most part this article has improved since the last review and we see that this team has taken our review into consideration and made the necessary corrections. They added graphics like we suggested and corrected there grammatical errors. We do not see any major nor minor grammatical errors as of now. Since we do not spot any thing else to improve on with what you have now, all we can really suggest is that you try to add more research or add more graphics. You could probably find a really good graphic of the structure of lactase and add it to your article. Team 10 could even go as far as showing a metabolic pathway of how lactase breaks down the sugar lactose. Along with showing the metabolic pathway team 10 could add another subsection and explain the actual process of the metabolic pathway. Otherwise the article looks suffice for Wikipedia. (Rshadid (talk) 22:54, 3 May 2011 (UTC)) This review was mainly written by Latajah and edit it by Rany.
TEAM 8 REVIEW OF TEAM 10 (FIRST REVIEW)
[edit]Summary This article was about the development and history of lactase persistency and non-persistency, mainly in humans. It talked about the causes for the evolution of lactase persistency and its evolutionary advantages. Additionally, the article briefly discussed why lactase persistence has not developed in other non human species. I randomly checked sources 4, 17, 23, 27, and 34, all of which were accurately and appropriately cited.
Overall this was an excellent article. It provided a lot of good information about the topic. It was worded well and captured the reader’s attention. The information was tied together nicely and flowed well. It may help to add images of things like lactase, dairy farming, etc. just to provide visuals for the reader, but they are not necessary. The only recommended changes written below are small grammatical corrections or ways to make the wording sound slightly better. Again, this was a very good article and the group should be commended for their work.
Intro CHANGE: “For most mammals, lactase is not necessary after the first few years of life because they can get their nutrients from an adult diet.” TO: For most mammals, lactase is not necessary after the first few years of life because they can get all required nutrients from a diet that does not rely on milk consumption.
1. Biological Causes CHANGE: “In the current day, lactase persistence is common in northern and western Europeans as well as Africa, and the Middle East.” TO: Today, lactase persistence is common in northern and western European, African, and Middle Eastern individuals. OR: Today, lactase persistence is common in northern and western Europe, Africa, and the Middle East.
CHANGE: “...widespread dairying emerged in England, Turkey, and Central and Eastern Europe from the years 7900 – 6100 BCE.” TO: ...widespread dairying emerged in England, Turkey, and Central and Eastern Europe between 7900 and 6100 BCE.
2. Underlying Causes CHANGE: “Also, one active lactase gene is required to be lactase persistent, and lactase persistence is dominant to hypolactasia.” TO: Also, only one active lactase gene is required to be lactase persistent because lactase persistence is dominant to hypolactasia.
CHANGE: “Furthermore, in studies, only 8 cases were found where the parents of a child with lactase persistence were both hypolactasia.” TO: Furthermore, studies show that (or studies suggest that) only 8 cases of lactase persistence were found where the parents were both hypolactasia.
3. Global Spread CHANGE: “Lactase persistence, as genome researcher Joel Hirschhorn of Harvard Medical School discovered, was due to the presence of a haplotype more than 1 million nucleotide base pairs long that includes the lactase gene.” TO: Joel Hirschhorn of Harvard Medical School discovered that lactase persistence was due to the presence of a haplotype, composed of more than 1 million nucleotide base pairs, that includes the lactase gene.
CHANGE: “The presence of the gene is the cause of lactase persistence.” TO: The presence of this gene is the cause of lactase persistence.
CHANGE: “These geographical distributions strongly correlates with the spread of domesticated cattle.” TO: These geographical distributions strongly correlate with the spread of domesticated cattle.
CHANGE: “About 5000 to 10,000 years ago...” TO: About 5,000 to 10,000 years ago...
4. Evolutionary Advantages SUGGESTION: In second paragraph, you could relate the study’s findings to the fact that milk consumption is a strong source of calcium which could account for less broken bones, more bone growth, etc. and further support the study’s findings
SUGGESTION: “The analysis process consisted of plotting extensive linkage disequilibrium (define) of ancestral and current alleles.” Not sure if “(define)” was left in by accident, but it would help to explain what linkage disequilibrium is or provide a link to another wikipedia page.
5. Lactase Persistence in Other Species Besides Humans CHANGE: “Lactase Persistence in Other Species Besides Humans” TO: Lactase Persistence in Nonhumans or Lactase Persistence in Other Species/Mammals
SUGGESTION: May help to briefly describe weaning as taking infant off of milk and to adult diet
Goodmanmp823 (talk) 16:34, 13 April 2011 (UTC)
Team 8 Second Review
[edit]Overall, this group listened well to the critiques offered by our team during the first review process. Their discussion of lactase persistence in mammals is thorough and and extensive. There are only a few minor errors I found when reading through the article again. In the Global Spread section, the sentence "the percentage of the population who are lactase persistence in sub-Saharan Africa and Southeast Asia is very low." needs to change persistence to persistent. Also a similar error in the Underlying Causes section, "Furthermore, studies show that (or studies suggest that) only 8 cases of lactase persistence were found where the parents were both hypolactasia" hypolactasia should be changed to the adjective of the word, hypolactasic? Other than these minor errors, my only suggestion is carefully reading through the entire article. Some areas can get a little wordy so perhaps working to streamline the information and make sure it is clear and concise so all are able to understand it.
Ogutowsk (talk) 21:36, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
File:BioE Lactase.JPG Deleted
[edit]An image used in this article, File:BioE Lactase.JPG, has been deleted from Wikimedia Commons by Fastily for the following reason: No license since 29 April 2011
- What should I do?
You can remove the code for this image from the article text (which can look messy), however a different bot may already have done so. You could also try to search for new images to replace the one deleted. If you think the deletion was in error please raise the issue at Commons.
This notification is provided by a Bot, currently under trial --CommonsNotification (talk) 00:05, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
Essay to article
[edit]Is the assignment that produced this article over? Although the content is good and well referenced, I think ultimately it will need to be edited for a more encyclopaedic (rather than essay-like) tone and either merged into the main lactose intolerance article or, my preference, combined with some of the material there to create a new lactase persistence article which focuses on the genetics and evolutionary history. But I don't want to interfere with an educational assignment while it's still ongoing. joe•roet•c 09:28, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
- Well, no response so far from the major contributors to this page, and I think the assignment was probably this one, which is listed as ending in May 2011. So I think I'll go ahead with the merge. joe•roet•c 10:27, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
Lactose intolerance or lactase prevalence?
[edit]Greetings. On checking the graphic associated with "Modern-day Lactose Intolerance in Humans by Region", I note a couple of things. First, there is no reference to primary sources, of which there will unquestionably be (e.g. Kretchmer 1972, etc). Secondly, I note that the file is labelled "Lactase". That label is suggestive of a distribution map for lactase prevalence, which is different from a distribution map for lactose intolerance. Either that or the file is erroneously labelled. However, in the absence of references, we have no easy way to know which. Wotnow (talk) 23:00, 1 September 2011 (UTC)