Talk:Desmond Tutu/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Power~enwiki (talk · contribs) 20:37, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	There are quite a few red links; I'll check some to see if there are existing articles that they should redirect. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:57, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply] Unfortunately, our coverage of southern African topics is quite limited in many areas, so there probably will be quite a few redlinks at present. Hopefully those will turn blue over the coming years. Midnightblueowl (talk) 22:59, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Most of the top hits on the copyvio tool are the sources for direct quotes. This [1] is problematic, though. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:44, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply] Glad you spotted that. I've amended the prose to fix the issue. Midnightblueowl (talk) 23:07, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Going to do another read-through about this; there's a lot of "Du Boulay noted that" in the text but most of those aren't likely to be controversial or non-neutral. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:08, 11 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Are there any public-domain or open-license photos of him from before 1980? power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:57, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply] Not that I could find, unfortunately. There are none, for instance, on the Wikimedia Commons list of Tutu images ((https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Desmond_Tutu]). Perhaps some will become available in future. Midnightblueowl (talk) 22:53, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
	7. Overall assessment.

Note: the first GA review was in 2008; I plan to completely ignore it. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:39, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Power~enwiki: Many thanks for taking a look at this. Midnightblueowl (talk) 23:08, 10 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed three red links; Martin Luther King Jr Peace Prize and St Barnabas College are pages I'll try to create (likely at slightly different titles) in the near future. Yogi Sip should also be a redirect somewhere, but I don't know where. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:08, 11 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yogi Sip appears to be a specific brand; we don't have an article on yoghurt drinks, but we do have a Yoghurt article. My concern is that that is too unrelated, however. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:01, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, that's a problem that doesn't need to be fixed here. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Two more concerns before I approve this:

In the lead, He was widely popular among the black majority refers to the South African black majority, right? That entire paragraph is confused between local and world opinions. power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, that's a good point, I'll make the change. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:04, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not quite sure how to fix it, but having 5 separate claims attributed to Du Boulay in the first paragraph of the personal life section (opposite a blockquote) is too much. Perhaps everything after "typical African warmth and a spontaneous lack of inhibition" could be moved later in the section? power~enwiki (π, ν) 20:28, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

You're right, this is a tricky one. It's a shame I've had to rely so much on Du Boulay to describe Tutu's personality, but the other biographers just don't offer so many handy descriptive quotes. I've moved some of the material around as well as dividing that first paragraph in two and making some alterations to the prose. Do you think that that does the trick? Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:20, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It's still not perfect, but it's significantly better, and good enough for GA. power~enwiki (π, ν) 04:38, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]