Talk:Deborah A. Ashenhurst

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Suggestions/comments on rough draft article

Untitled

In the "Career in National Guard" section, it's confusing when you say that in 2011, she was promoted from Adjutant General for the state of Ohio, to Brigadier General, and then to Major General, but then you say she retired from her role as Adjutant General in 2015. Wouldn't she have retired from her role as Major General based on the order of her promotions? You have relevant information and a good logical organization of subsections going from the most important topic into smaller topics. You make good use of wikilinks as well. The description box is a nice addition that is common in many articles. The duties table is a smart idea because that much information can get confusing when it's all written out in paragraphs. The awards and decorations box is also nicely set up. The specific picture of her in action exemplifies her position well to give the reader a better picture of her at work. A correction would be that only the first word of titles of sections should be capitalized unless it's something specific as in the case of "National Guard." Heppnean (talk) 00:09, 16 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback by Peer

First off, the charts/tables are rad. Good job on those. It might be worth adding wikilinks in the "Duties" table under the "Role" portion, and in the "Awards & Decorations" table, assuming that there are indeed wiki pages for any of those. I would be interested to know what they all mean. You might also benefit from finding more unique information from some of your sources. You cite all 6 of them on the same bit of information at one point, which sort of makes it feel like some of them aren't really contributing anything to the article, they're just there to meet the quota of 5 sources. I like the pictures you chose to add as well. They show her in multiple contexts, and I think that adds a lot more than just multiple photos of one kind. I also like the info box on the right hand side. One little thing I might add is the U.S. Nat'l Guard's flag, as I've seen the flags added for other branches on other Wikipedia pages. You've got a couple empty headings, and no lead section, but I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume those are Emily's responsibility.

TheBoatGuy (talk) 02:28, 16 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]