Talk:Death and state funeral of Raúl Alfonsín/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 18:38, 20 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination. — Calvin999 19:42, 20 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

was the president of Argentina from → presumably he's not the only president of Argentina?
He died on March 31, 2009, → Just checking, does Argentina use American date formatting?
at the age of 82. → aged 82.
a big candlelight vigil took place in the vicinity of it. → There's something about this which reads a bit informal and not very encyclopaedic.
the most important politicians → Same as before. I suggest 'senior politicians'
people from other countries also voiced their respect for him. → Such as?
where he was left. → where he was left?! I doubt he was just left there.
You link lung cancer in Health and death, but not in the lead?
a number of turnings for the worse, → Too informal
The president Cristina Kirchner → The current president
Link Cristina Kirchne
Sadler announced → Is his name misspelt?
Sadler announced it at 21:03, after confirming it. → This reads awkward
He was sleeping at the moment, → Again, this isn't well constructed and is a bit confusing.
If Argentina using American dates then they likely use American English spelling? So neighbours should be neighbors.
The president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner was → You're using a full name here and linking it, but the previous section is styled differently and not linked?
was out of the country at the moment, → Same as before, this makes no sense.
There were almost a thousand people, → Almost a thousand people attended,
and singed → and sung
The people was → The people were
but the huge amount → huge is too informal. Vast, perhaps?
The governments of Spain, United States, Brazil, Mexico, Uruguay, Paraguay, Peru, Colombia, France and Chile → I would alphabetise these.
after futfilling his goals. → typo, I guess you mean fulfilling.

Outcome

I debated the outcome of this nomination with myself for a while. I found it quite confusing in places. I'm assuming that English is not your first language? I will put it on hold for 7 days, as you should be able to amend the above. — Calvin999 20:00, 20 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Done Cambalachero (talk) 17:24, 26 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Great, well done. Passing. — Calvin999 17:26, 26 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]