Talk:Deafness in the Philippines
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Language Emergence section
[edit]Initial graded feedback:
Very good! My only feedback is that, as currently written, the reader is left to wonder whether Filipino Sign Language is different from ASL in any way. Providing more information about that would be a great way to improve this section.
Current score: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:48, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
- Final graded feedback:
- Excellent improvement to an already-impressive section. New score: 3/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:10, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Major organizations section
[edit]Initial graded feedback:
Superb! Just two exceedingly minor things to fix:
-Typo: FSL, not FLS
-"Corpora" is a plural word whose singular form is "corpus"
Current score: 2.95/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:50, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
- One typo is fixed; "corpus" is still misspelled, but I'm not going to penalize you for that. Matthall.research (talk) 21:19, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Human & Civil Rights section
[edit]Initial graded feedback:
Outstanding again! There's only room for improvement in a few places:
-Clarification: the List of Issues is released by the UN, after receiving input from civil organizations
-Several of the bullet points are missing citations
Current score: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:54, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
- No changes noted, score remains 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:24, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Early Hearing Detection & Intervention section
[edit]Initial graded feedback:
This section is very strong with respect to early hearing detection, but doesn't say much about early intervention. Once kids are identified as DHH, are they given access to hearing aids? CIs? Sign language? Providing more info about the intervention side of things (still focusing on ages 0-5y, prior to school entry) would be the main way to improve this section.
Current score: 1.75/2 Matthall.research (talk) 21:57, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
- (typo: that should be 1.75/3) Matthall.research (talk) 21:57, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
- Final graded feedback:
- I appreciate the addition of the intervention section, which has some good context about the availability and costs of hearing technology. I concur, though, with the wiki user comments about weaknesses in sources and citations in this section. In addition, much of the intervention section focuses on what's provided in school contexts, which is explicitly not the point of this section. New score: 2/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:46, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Higher education section
[edit]-The legal protection section would fit better under human/civil rights. You can then review the sections that are specific to higher ed here.
-Nice use of the table feature!
-The CAP College School for the Deaf seems very significant! I would have loved to know more about it. Are their courses taught in FSL? How do they handle accommodations? How many students attend? What are their alumni doing?
-Same goes for MCCID, although with a little less intensity since they don't appear to grant bachelor's degrees.
Still, very informative and well done overall: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 21:57, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
This is very cool and so comprehensive! Congratulations for a job well done! As the first author of Filipino Sign Language page, I subsequently made a detailed history of FSL and, as one of the founders of MCCID, fought hard for its recognition nationally. Here is the link to my original page. [1] I also made a very lengthy discussion [2] with a "demigod" here under the Talk section which eventually led to him winning the argument and removed everything even though he knows nothing about the topic. He even managed to change the title to Philippine Sign Language until it was returned to FSL. I used to be an active Wikipedian. I started in 2006. But got frustrated in dealing with these "demigods" here. Hope you continue. I salute you! Jomanila (talk) 07:50, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
References
Healthcare
[edit]This is the kind of structure I was asking for in the previous section! Good work.
What's here is great (depressing, of course, but well-done); I would have also welcomed content about other aspects of healthcare.
Score: 2.5/3 Matthall.research (talk) 22:01, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Employment
[edit]-Again, good structure here
-Is "garbage scavenger" the appropriate term? Maybe "garbage collector"?
-Info about employment rates is the only other thing I'd have liked to see
Score: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 22:04, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Language preservation & revitalization
[edit]-The reason you list for FSL being considered stable actually suggests the opposite...
-Your structured list is great, but I agree that the middle two components need citations.
Score: 2.25/3 Matthall.research (talk) 22:09, 5 December 2022 (UTC)