Talk:Day Breaks

Needs a rewrite

I give the author of this article A for effort and A for compiling a nice group of sources. However the final product is written in a poorly organized and promotional fashion.

Excessive quoting ie "After the first record, I drifted away from the piano a little bit. I still played it, but was more inspired to write on guitar. I really loved playing piano on this record."
Excessive amounts of trivia and poor writing "Having just had a baby and a piano in her kitchen..."
Un-encyclopedic promotional details ie "Target's exclusive edition of the album contains four additional live songs"
Promo spin ie "the album has an average score of 81 out of 100, which indicates "universal acclaim" based on 7 reviews"

I welcome the collaboration of other editors to build on the notable efforts of the article creator and improve the article .

-- — Keithbob • Talk • 13:37, 18 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dear user:Felipeedit, user:Ss112 and user:TheOnlyOne12, I see that you have done some prior work on this article. I have some concerns about the content and I've added a clean up tag. I've indicated my outstanding concerns above. Would you please help clean up and improve this article by participating in the discussions below? As experienced editors active on this article I'd like your opinions and insights. Cheers!. -- — Keithbob • Talk • 20:53, 24 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Response to Keithbob

Why don't you help then? Sendu1984 (talk) 17:58, 18 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Sure I'd be happy to help.-- — Keithbob • Talk • 20:09, 24 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@User:Sendu1984 You have removed the tags I added without addressing the specific issues I've taken the time to outline above. What do you think of the article? How do you think it can be improved? I'm happy to work with you to make it better. Your thoughts? -- — Keithbob • Talk • 20:13, 24 October 2016 (UTC) edited-- — Keithbob • Talk • 20:38, 24 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background and recording

I'd like to remove this sentence from the article:

In November 2015 while on a brief US tour, Jones confirmed that she had finished "a big chunk" of recording for her sixth studio album and that it was "coming soon."

Because:

It's promotional trivia and non-notable.
The cited source doesn't mention the subject of this article: Day Breaks
To editorialize and say that her side comment to a reporter was about this album is WP:OR in my opinion.

What do others think?-- — Keithbob • Talk • 20:22, 24 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Since there don't seem to be any objections, I've removed the sentence.-- — Keithbob • Talk • 17:45, 28 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Another sentence

I'd also like to remove this sentence

On March 1, 2016, Jones announced on social media that she was almost finished with her new album.

for the same reasons as the one above:

The source doesn't mention the album Day Breaks
It's trivia
It's sourced to a Facebook comment
-- — Keithbob • Talk • 18:05, 28 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Since there are no objections, I've removed the sentence.-- — Keithbob • Talk • 18:07, 31 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Blade the drummer

I'd like to remove this off topic WP:COATRACK sentence which gives no info about the article topic (The album Day Breaks)

Blade previously worked with Jones on her debut, Come Away with Me.
-- — Keithbob • Talk • 18:17, 31 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done -- — Keithbob • Talk • 17:58, 7 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Singles section

I'd like to remove these three sentences also:

On August 5, 2016, Day Breaks' lead single, "Carry On", was released to digital outlets.
- Why? The digital release 2 days before the official album release is non-notable.
On September 9, 2016, "Flipside" was released as the first promotional single to digital outlets.
- Why? It's more trivia and worse yet its cited to the Amazon sale page for the song. A promotional non-reliable source.
On September 30, 2016, "Tragedy" was released as the second promotional single to digital outlets.
- Why? More trivia and cited to the Amazon sale page for the song.

Any comments or suggestions?-- — Keithbob • Talk • 18:10, 7 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I've summarized the information about the release date and the singles. Which are notable. I've removed the trivia about digital outlets and the Amazon sale pages which are not reliable sources.-- — Keithbob • Talk • 16:05, 9 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Target

I'd also like to remove this sentence:

Target's exclusive edition of the album contains four additional live songs.
- It appears to be promotional trivia and its cited to Target's website. Not a reliable source.

-- — Keithbob • Talk • 16:12, 9 November 2016 (UTC) Done[reply]

Tour

I've removed this sentence:

In support of the album, Jones is scheduled to tour portions of North America and Europe throughout late 2016.
- Because the source does not say the tour is in support or to promote the new album. It is also a "scheduled" tour and per WP:Crystal

we don't report future events that have not occurred unless they are so notable they would deserve their own article.-- — Keithbob • Talk • 16:01, 19 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified

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