Talk:David Warner (cricketer)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: ImmortalWizard (talk · contribs) 00:01, 20 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Right, I'll review this. I'm busy in real life and this might take time. Hope you don't mind. ImmortalWizard(chat) 00:01, 20 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

No problems. ImmortalWizard Thank you for taking up the review. --Binod Basnet (talk) 00:38, 20 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

" An left-handed opening batsman, " An or A?
Five paragraphs are too much, should be condensed

Fixed.~Ruyaba~ {talk} 08:52, 11 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why is Limited overs cricket starting with caps?
"Prior to thumb injuries in 2016, he predominantly fielded at slip but subsequently moved to midwicket." Not supported by ref and not mentioned anywhere in the body.
"On 23 January 2017, he became the fourth player to win the Allan Border Medal more than once and also win the award in consecutive years." this feat is not mentioned anywhere in the body.
"Currently, he is ranked 6th in the list of top Test batsmen in the world, according to the official ICC Player Rankings, published in February 2019." not supported by ref or mentioned in the body
"He is the first Australian and sixth overall to reach 1,500 T20I runs" T20I not wikilinked
Haven't read the whole body, but the lead seems overloaded with too many unnecessary records. Keep the ones that are relevant. Maybe make a separate section for his records?
"He is also the first Australian batsman to score 7 ODI centuries in a calendar year." - neither sourced nor mentioned in the body.
"On 27 March 2018, following a preliminary investigation into ball tampering by the Australian team in the Third Test of their 2018 Tour of South Africa by Cricket Australia, Warner, Steve Smith and Cameron Bancroft were suspended, charged with bringing the game into disrepute, and sent home." - too complicated, rephrase with consistent format. Also, why is Third Test caps?
"Australian under-19s" I believe it could be wikilinked

Fixed ~Ruyaba~ {talk} 05:34, 14 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

"David Warner was born on 27 October 1986 in Paddington, a suburb in eastern Sydney.[13] At the age of 13 he was asked by his coach to switch to right-handed batting because he kept hitting the ball in the air. " - I am going to WP:AGF, but please check ref [13]. Also why is the second statement not sourced?
"one season later.." of what? Where did he play?
"state team" why not mention its name here?
nothing about his mother is mentioned in the source.
"Eastern Suburbs club" not mentioned in source
"Warner attended Matraville Public School and Randwick Boys High School.[15]" ref [15] probably expired?
The whole section could be condensed to one para rather than three

Done ~Ruyaba~ {talk} 05:27, 15 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Domestic career

"Warner's breakthrough innings for the New South Wales Blues came against Tasmania when he smashed 165* to record the highest one day score by a Blues player ever.[16]" remove wikilink from NSWB because already done once. "165*" to "165 not out". Tasmania is lnked to the place rather than the team. In what day did this occur and which format of the game. Also, ref [16] should be archived.
- I have completed this one for him. Matt294069
"He later backed this up with a 54-ball 97 also against Tasmania to narrowly miss the record for the fastest ever century in Australian domestic cricket.[17]" again, ref [17] is outdated. Was it in the 2nd innings or another match? Please give context to the readers.
~~"This introduction to the domestic scene led to Warner being included in Australia's Twenty20 squad in January 2009.[18] " why separate para for this? Also [ref 18] outdated~~
- Seemed out of place for this section so I removed it. Matt294069
"Warner finally made his first-class debut playing for New South Wales against Western Australia in the final match of the 2008–09 Sheffield Shield competition at the Sydney Cricket Ground on 5–8 March 2009. Batting only once and coming in at number six in the batting order, Warner scored 42 runs off 48 deliveries.[19] " what is "first class" level of cricket? why use "finally"? change "5-8" to only "5". probably wikilink Batting order (cricket)
"His score of 197 came off just 141 balls and included 20 fours and 10 sixes, .." - what are fours and sixes?
"Warner made a record in KFC Big Bash by completing his half century in 18 balls against Tasmania. The earlier record was held by George Bailey, who completed his half century in 19 balls.[18] " - what record is it? fastest half-century? wikilink half century. Also in what year, month did it happen? We lost the timeline. Also, the source cited is not specific enough in terms of the "record"
"...102 not out off just 51 balls with a strike rate of 200 runs per 100 balls..." all of these stuff seems unnecessary. Only "a century" is enough to mention.
"In the first season of the newly re-vamped Big Bash League," which year/season?
"Warner has played for English County Champions Durham for the English cricket domestic season." - mentioning the year number here instead of sub heading is much better. Also why "Champions"? Also, the source confirms Warner being "part" of the squad, not necessarily "played".
"Warner has been one of the most successful batsmen in the Indian Premier League. He has represented the Sunrisers Hyderabad, and played a pivotal role at the top of the order. He holds the records for the most runs by an overseas player (4014), most half-centuries (35) and the highest individual score by a captain (126) in the IPL.[23][24] " too much bias, contradicts WP:NPOV. The sources does not show all the records.
"2009–2013" - This section has some overlinks and some missing.
"During the 2009 tournament which was played in South Africa" South Africa thing not mentioned in the source
Use and wikilink either "strike-rate" or "strike rate"
"On 7 October 2011, Warner became the first cricketer to score consecutive Twenty20 hundreds, when he followed up an unbeaten 135 against Chennai Super Kings with an unbeaten 123 against Royal Challengers Bangalore. Both matches were in the Champions League." the whole thing could be rephrased, like introducing the champions league first.
" He has represented the Sunrisers Hyderabad, and ..." so he only played for SRH? No Delhi?
SRH wikilinked too many times
"rewarding him with the Orange cap" what is orange cap?
"In 2015, he was appointed captain of the Sunrisers Hyderabad. Warner ended the season as the tournament's leading run scorer, rewarding him with the Orange cap, although SRH narrowly missed out on reaching the knock-out phase." So he was appointed captain in 2015 season, but after than leading run scorer in 2014? reorder
RCB wikilinked twice
"In 2017, Warner scored 126 runs against the Kolkata Knight Riders to break his previous career high of 109*. This also marked his third century in the IPL." not sure if it's relevant.
The entire "2014–2018" section needs copy editing.
The "Other T20 franchise cricket" needs rewrite. It's written like a list.

International career

Avoid WP:PROSELINE
"Warner made his international debut for Australia in a Twenty20 International against South Africa at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on 11 January 2009. Warner was the first man since 1877 to represent Australia without having played in a first-class match.[40]" - ref is dead. Also, why exactly was he selected?
"and the equal fifth highest score ever in Twenty20 internationals." not worthy
The whole first para of debut years could be rewritten and compressed
2nd para unsourced

I am going to stop here. The article has too many issues and it current fails. It is simply too much to handle for it to be GA for now. What do you think? THE NEW ImmortalWizard(chat) 15:25, 17 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I personally agree as well as their is a missing section between 2013-2015 to add to that. Not Homura (talk) 05:34, 19 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

ImmortalWizard, Thank you so much for your time. Please close the review. ~Ruyaba~ {talk} 12:52, 23 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Right, thank you. I think I have given as much comments as possible. Unfortunately, there are too many problems that has to be dealt with and therefore I am failing this GAR. THE NEW ImmortalWizard(chat) 13:06, 23 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.