Talk:David Bedell-Sivright/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 00:45, 1 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Lead IRB should be in full when first mentioned, in the lead and in the bodyY initial caps of "The" in "The Varsity Match" is not IAW MOSY Personal history second mention of Bedell-Sivright should just be "He"Y suggest "going up"Y suggest "His brother John played for Cambridge University RFC, and gained a single international cap in 1902."Y Rugby career again, second mention of Bedell-Sivright in this section should just be "He"Y "He played ~~for~~ a total"Y "In 1904, onat the request of the Rugby Football Union,"Y "but he ~~still~~ became"Y "after ~~picking up~~ an injury"Y a comma after "According to a New Zealand newspaper"Y "While studying at in Edinburgh"Y "for two seasons"Y " their previous matches ~~so far~~ on tour, scoring 612 points, and conceding only 15."Y "to contexst a test match"Y delete "As well,"Y "E. H. D. Sewell"Y in the quote box, it says "Slvright", needs fixing, unless it was a typo, in which case a (sic) would be appropriate.Y
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	good summary of material in the article
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	suggest you use template:cite book in the References section, which will reduce the space used, as well as clutter suggest using shortened footnoting to reduce the clutter in the notes section the current set-up meets minimum acceptable standards under WP:FNNR
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.	No problems I could detect
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	covers the aspects you'd expect
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Nothing extraneous, good detail on rugby career, only a short military one
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	No edit warring or related issues
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	The licensing for File:Bedellsivright rugby.jpeg is not right, it cannot rely on a date of publication that is not provided, or an author that is unknownY
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	both are fine
	7. Overall assessment.	~~Placed on hold for seven days for the above points to be addressed~~Listed, well done

@Peacemaker67: Thanks for your review. I have fixed all the prose and grammar problems you listed. I've attempted to add more information on the date and location of File:Bedellsivright rugby.jpeg. It was almost certainly taken in 1904, probably in Australia, but maybe in New Zealand. I've found a number of images online of the team posing in the same jersey as he is wearing in that photo -- all say they were taken in Australia during his tour there. Let me know whether it's acceptable or not. Thanks again. -- Shudde ^talk 05:25, 2 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Licensing looks ok now. Passing GA. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 06:41, 2 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]