Talk:Darker than Black: Shikkoku no Hana/GA1

Passed

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Takipoint123 (talk · contribs) 05:14, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	"Hei and his partner Yin locate the Azusa who kills Mioka." remove "the" before "Azusa." Done "Hei seeks to kill Harvest..." I suggest changing the sentence into "Hei seeks to kill Harvest due to a request from his previous ally, Amber, whom Harvest worked for years ago." Done "Hei meets people from the Pandora group Champ and Pancel" should change to "Hei meets Champ and Pancel from the Pandora group", as the current sentence makes it sound like "Champ and Pancel" is the name of the Pandora group. Done "Red Dandelion" seems to come out of nowhere, it seems to be an important plot point but does not have exposition. Done "However, Pandora betrays the Syndicate." From my understanding, Pandora is on Hei's side, thus, I don't think "betray" would be the correct term as it suggests Pandora was on the syndicate's side originally. Correct me if I am wrong. Partly done The sentence was changed, but I'd just like to verify if "betray" is the best word for the situation. Done I don't think this is the greatest issue. "After Azusa recovers her strengtgth... Meteor Fragment." Seems like a run-on sentence, I have a hard time grasping what that sentence is talking about. I recommended splitting the sentence or including commas where appropriate. Done with a few fixes by myself. "As Kirihara controls the item" which item? Done "... asks Kirihara to arrest her." arrest who? Done
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	"Harvest is creating... "Black Dendelion."" Needs to be written in real-world perspective Done
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Contains a list of citations, as required.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Note: I used Google Translate to check non-English sources, which may be incorrect. Citation 4 is used on "March 25, 2011", which is the link for the first tankonbon. Done, edited citation to book 4. I am unsure of the source "AnimeClick," it seems reliable at first glance though. Could you verify if the source is reliable? Done Where did you get the Chapter list? I don't think the citations cover the list of chapters. Partly done I suggest you remove the Chapter list unless it is covered by reliable sources. If possible, please incorporate the titles of the novels. Done "Darker than Black: Shikkoku no Hana was a commercial success ... selling 60,780 units upon release" I think you should include the tankonbon number, "Darker than Black: Shikkoku no Hana #2." If this is the case, please add the sales for the first volume, if possible. Done Citation 11 is referenced incorrectly, the link is the same as Citation 9. Done "journaldujapon" - same comment as for Animeclick Done I changed "must-have" to "well-worth buy" as it says on the source. Please correct me if I am wrong. "His role in the finale against Harvest was also praised for the depth of Hei's character." Please cite this information. Done "Harvest's characterization ... Hei's rival." I don't think the citation covers this information, I cannot find it in the source. Partly done I don't think the source claims that Harvest's characterization was inferior to Hei, correct me if I am wrong. However, I do encourage you to find any points of criticism and add them, to keep the reception neutral. Done "...praising the variety of character designs and the artwork in general." I also could not find this information in the source. Done
	2c. it contains no original research.	Pass.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Copyvio checked.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Although I do understand that this work was not released in English, thus sources are harder to find, I think it should include information on the production. Partly done I don't think this is a requirement per Wikipedia:What the Good article criteria are not:"for an article on a work of fiction, a summary of the plot and a discussion of the reception are usually required." But if possible, I do encourage the addition of this information. Done, as there aren't enough sources to put such coverage.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Pass.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Pass.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Pass.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Image includes rationale.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Image has captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	The article is placed on hold. Passed.

I will take up the review for this article.--Takipoint123 (talk) 05:14, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I have placed the article on hold, and it will be placed on hold for a week for improvements.--Takipoint123 (talk) 07:56, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Revised everything from plot section.

JournalduJapon seems to be careful with such article about the handling of reviews and copyrighted information.
Oricon sadly did not release information about the first volume of the manga involving sales.
The chapter titles are rough translations from Japanese scans. I'll remove them if you want it.Tintor2 (talk) 16:11, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: I have looked at your improvements and added additional suggestions.--Takipoint123 (talk) 21:51, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Takipoint123: Thanks for being patient with my issues. I tried revising more per your comments but could you pinpoint at least through a tag or hidden message which part of the article has that sentence that should be removed? Can't find it.Tintor2 (talk) 23:11, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: Sorry for being unclear with the location of the improvements, but it seems like they've been resolved. I've made a few revisions to the article, including a change in the plot and the volume list.

I think the article should be tidied up to be a GA, although I do feel a bit wary about its coverage. Takipoint123 (talk) 03:48, 12 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The author barely talked about the series sadly so I can't anything about its creation.Tintor2 (talk) 04:17, 12 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: That's sad, and I'm not the cruel reviewer to require information that doesn't exist :) . I think the coverage should be fine in that case as the related articles to this topic seems to be good quality articles. Great work, and I'll pass the review but before that wait a few days just to make sure someone else can leave comments if they would like. Takipoint123 (talk) 06:00, 12 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: All significant issues have been resolved as listed above, and the original review could be found at here. The article is passed, and great work! --Takipoint123 (talk) 01:27, 14 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]