Talk:Darejan Dadiani/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 20:41, 26 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination. — Calvin999 20:58, 26 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Calvin999: are you continuing with this? sst ✈ 09:19, 11 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I completely forgot I had opened this to be honest. — Calvin999 10:37, 11 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Calvin999:, @SSTflyer: So the question wasn't actually answered. Calvin999, are you going to review this nomination? — Maile (talk) 20:46, 14 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yes I will today. — Calvin999 08:19, 15 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

One connection issue
Add her age to the date and place of death in the Info box
The article title and info box says Darejan Dadiani but the lead just says Darejan?
was the third wife of the Georgian monarch Heraclius II and, thus, the queen consort of Kakheti and then also of Kartli in eastern Georgia. → was Queen Consort of Kakheti, and later Kartli-Kakheti in Eastern Georgia, as the wife of King Heraclius II.
Darejan wed Heraclius in 1750. Their 48 years of marriage produced 23 children. In the closing years of Heraclius's reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs. → Darajan married Heraclius in 1750 and their marriage lasts 48 years until his death in 1798; the union produced 23 children. In the final years of her husbands reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs.
whose progeny she tried to prevent from succeeding to the throne of Georgia. → What does progeny mean? I don't understand the sentence as a result.
After the Russian annexation of Georgia, Queen Dowager Darejan was deported to Russia proper in 1803. → You need to say that following his death, I kind of helped you out with my suggestion above with this, but at the moment all the sentences are bit lumped together.
was buried there, at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. → and was buried at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra.
Lead says Katsia-Giorgi Dadiani, Early life and marriage says Katsia (Giorgi) Dadiani. Pick one and be consistent.
She was only 12 years old in 1750, when Heraclius, then reigning in Kakheti, chose her as his third wife, a year after his second wife, Ana Abashidze, died. → There are so many clauses here. It makes it difficult to read.
Is this entire section attributed just to the final citation at the end?
The couple's first better documented child, → This is poorly worded
in the period → Remove
In the last years of Heraclius II, → in what?
her influence became to be felt. → Okay?
In 1791 Darejan → Comma after the date
, George, now King George XII, → the now King George XII
, on one hand, and Darejan and her sons, on the other → This could be worded so much simpler
Another major point at issue between → Same here
neighbor → Should American English be being used here?
In 1800 one → Comma after date
You flick between Queen Dowager Darejan and just Darejan. Pick one.
Ivan Lazarev, issued → No need for the comma
Shouldn't Tsar be capitalised?
Queen Dowager and her sons → If you're going to use this, then it should be 'The Queen Dowager...'
Once, the general infuriated her → Way too conversational
reached full age. → reached adulthood

Sorry it took so long to review. i completely forgot I had even opened it. Thanks for your patience. Next time, ping me much sooner! On hold. — Calvin999 17:37, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Calvin999: I've addressed those issues. As for progeny, its her personal children/descendants born with Heraclius. Jaqeli 20:56, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Oh there seems to be an issue with the date parameter in one of the references at the bottom of the article too. — Calvin999 20:58, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Calvin999: Done. Jaqeli 21:24, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

PAssing. :) — Calvin999 21:25, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]