Talk:Dance forms of Tamil Nadu/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 13:28, 11 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Magentic Manifestations (talk · contribs) 06:53, 30 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 06:07, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start this one. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:07, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Before I start this review, could you tell me why you don't think this is a list? Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:20, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Rollinginhisgrave Thanks for your intent to review this. As to answer your question, I believe a list is more suited to uniform items. If it is an article on say list of folk dances (a section of the current one), then it can be a form of list. Given that it describes other forms which are not a mere list of items, it would be better suited to keep it this way. Also, similar articles on dance forms of various geographies (national/sub-national) have been maintained as non-list articles for years, so no reason why this one should become a list. Cheers! Magentic Manifestations (talk) 06:51, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thankyou, I'm not sure I agree with you, and I've put it in for the opinion of the experts, but I'm happy to review the page regardless since I want it to be the best it can be (according to GA requirements). Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:48, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General Comments

I will note at the outset the lede is insufficient at summarizing the body, but this can be addressed at the end of the review. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:48, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Magentic Manifestations, I'm sorry to say I think issues with prose mean this is not up to the standards of GA. It will need a very thorough copyedit. I don't want to quickfail, since you've been waiting since March, so I will leave this alone for a week, and see how the article looks then before choosing whether to proceed. This is an interesting article, and deserves the care and attention that you seem willing to give it. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:48, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've just gone to post this, and have seen you have radically changed the article. Please do not add 9k of content while the article is under review. I can see many of my concerns with prose are outstanding even with the edits, so I will persist with waiting for a few days before reviewing the article in earnest. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:48, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Rollinginhisgrave

The lead can be expanded a bit considering that it is currently a single paragraph. Will address this.
Regarding your comments on the prose part, it would be helpful if you could throw more light on the issues. I would be more than glad to address if there are specific issues.
I do understand your concern on the addition of bytes. In reality, the content has only minor edits. The major addition is in terms of citations and archiving of links to enable accessibility of the cited sources.

Magentic Manifestations (talk) 08:49, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give you four example sentences.

"Historically, the region had been inhabited for more than 400 millennia ago and has more than 3,800 years of continuous cultural history."

"Historically," redundant
"the region" -> "Tamil Nadu" as this is the first use
"had been" -> "has been"
"more than 400 millenia ago" this is impossible, they could not have been in India 400,000 years ago, given humans only left Africa in the last 100,000 years.
"more than 400 millenia ago and" -> "more than 400 millenia and"
There are two wikilinks that go to history of Tamil Nuda in this sentence. They are both WP:EASTEREGG. They should be moved to Template:Main.

"Tamil Nadu is the home of the Tamil people, who speak Tamil language, one of the oldest surviving languages."

"Tamil Nadu is the home of the Tamil people" if this is a historical claim, about origins, then it should be noted as such (i.e. Tamil Nadu is the ancestral home). If it is not, it should be moved out of a paragraph about history.
"who speak Tamil language" -> "who speak the Tamil language"
"one of the oldest surviving languages" -> "one of the oldest surviving languages still in use"

"The Tamilakam region has been ruled over by many kingdoms, major of which are the Sangam era (300 BC–AD 300) rulers of the Chera, Chola, and Pandya clans, the Pallava dynasty (3rd–9th century), and the later Vijayanagara Empire (14th–17th century)."

What is the Tamilakam region? Needs to be introduced.
"major of which are" -> "notably"? I think this is what you're trying to say
"Sangam era" -> "Sangam period" RS don't call it era.
"rulers of the Chera, Chola, and Pandya clans" were these rulers or ruled? This implies they were ruled by the Sangam era.

"The region was under European colonization for two centuries before the Indian Independence in 1947."

"The region" Which region? Tamilakam or Tamil Nadu?
"European colonialization" -> "European colonialism"
the Indian Independence" -> Indian gained independence

I really hope this helps. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 09:21, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Rollinginhisgrave Thanks for quoting examples. Let me scan the entire article once. We can take it from there. Cheers! Magentic Manifestations (talk) 08:40, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Magentic Manifestations, I can see you've been making some changes to the article, and I'm very happy with a lot of them. I do still think there's a fair bit to work through, how do you feel about getting through the rest of this over the next week? Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:24, 9 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and content

Historically, the region had been inhabited for more than 400 millennia ago and has more than 3,800 years of continuous cultural history. I doubt it, also please fix issues with grammar. Move the link to history of Tamil Nadu into a template for main article. The whole paragraph needs a good copyedit. fixed the issues specified
Are the Tamil people the only ethnic group who have lived in Tamil Nadu? yes, the native ethnicity of the current geography
Copyedit in the Bharatanatyam paragraph.
That's not what a backronym is. Removed
What are theoretical foundations of a dance? It refers to what is called the dance theory, linked it for better clarity

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:48, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Rollinginhisgrave, My comments are in blue. I have addressed the specific comments that were mentioned. You have repeated the same comment of "copy edit" across paragraphs. Copy edit is a generic term that encompasses a wide array of things and does not help me fathom what the exact concern is. As specified in my revert earlier, it would be better if you could specify what exactly you mean by the same or quote examples so that it can be addressed. Magentic Manifestations (talk) 09:07, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from TB

Most of the stuff is inaccurate and this should not be a GA. More later. TrangaBellam (talk) 12:42, 11 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

TrangaBellam Thankyou, I'll fail this straight away, really glad you've weighed in. There's going to need to be a reassessment of some GAs they've had approved. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 13:27, 11 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.