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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 18:22, 27 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll finish this review by tomorrow at the latest JAGUAR  18:22, 27 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

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  • "with debutante Sonakshi Sinha" - what makes Sonakshi Sinha debutante? Is this referring to her as a character in the film?
  • "and tells the story of Chulbul Pandey and his troubled relationship with his stepfather and half-brother" - this might read better as and tells the story of a corrupt but fearless police officer, Chulbul Pandey, and his troubled relationship with his stepfather and half-brother? Or something similar? If so, remove the short sentence "Pandey is a corrupt but fearless police officer"
  • "Dabangg was released during Eid on 10 September 2010 in nearly 1800 screens worldwide" - would be worth rephrasing this to either in nearly 1800 cinemas or to nearly 1800 screens
  • "Chedi takes advantage of the situation, and takes Makkhi and his father to the police station" - along with his father
  • "Chulbul meets Dayal Babu (Anupam Kher), the leader of Lok Manch" - what is Lok Manch? This wasn't described before?
  • " They come to an agreement to keep Chedi in control" - this didn't make sense to me, in control of what?
  • "but eventually changed his mind and roped in Salman" - 'roped in' sounds a bit informal
  • "Some people have alleged that it is inspired from the Pakistani song" - weasel words, I'd rephrase this to It was alleged that it was inspired from
  • "It opened up across 1,800 screens in India and around 300 screens overseas" - this wasn't mentioned before, it only said that it released in 1800 screens worldwide? Should the previous statement be 2100 screens worldwide?
  • "overseas.Dabangg" - missing space
  • " Box Office India declared the film as a "Blockbuster" in India after its first week run" - why is blockbuster in quotes?

References

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All done, thanks to Kailash. -- Frankie talk 15:58, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

On hold

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Overall a very well written and comprehensive article, I enjoyed reading it! Once they're all clarified you can have a GA. JAGUAR  16:00, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry FrB.TG, I have just finished the rest of the review now. Once the remaining issues are addressed this should be good to go. JAGUAR  16:01, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Jaguar All done. Thanks for the review. -- Frankie talk 16:48, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for addressing them! This looks good to go now, well done JAGUAR  20:49, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your positive review. My first GA! :) -- Frankie talk 21:19, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]