Talk:Cyclone Winifred/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 02:24, 20 February 2014 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this article within the next few days, be patient. Secret ^account 02:24, 20 February 2014 (UTC)

Stating, this might be come and go.

• "and the first in 14 years to inflict significant damage on the northeastern coast of Australia." Wasn't that storm Athena? If it is, that part of the sentence is redundant and should be removed.

• Clarified; it's not completely redundant. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "Despite its relatively large eye, with a width of about 51 km (32 mi), Winifred nevertheless intensified" Doesn't storms with large eyes intensified usually? Is it relevant? I'm kinda new to this Wikiproject so I want to know.

• I clarified that already, you saw the edit. :p Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "Although official best track data recorded the storm's dissipation on 5 February," Sounds like it's missing a word

• I don't think so? Tweaked, anyway. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "The first cyclone watch related to Cyclone Winifred was declared by the Bureau of Meteorology (BoM) on 29 January for various locations in Queensland, spanning from Thursday Island to Cooktown, and was adjusted as necessary" What does "adjusted as necessary" means?

• Tweaked, expanded, changed into cyclone warnings, etc., the usual things you'd see with the approach of a tropical cyclone. Changes in status, in other words. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• On 30 January, the yacht Darkie washed ashore at South Brook Island, its crew of four surviving.[10] Is that information relevant for the lead sentence of the impact section? Yachts and ships get washed ashore all the time remove.

• It was the earliest event related to Winifred in the news, so that's why it's there. Tweaked anyway. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "and caused injury to hundreds of others." - Same problem with Cuba, injury implicit damage to a human being, not a home or structure, re-word to damaged hundreds of others.

• :( Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• Several individuals were recovered safely from the wreckage of two building collapses in both cities. Did two buildings collapsed in both cities, or once building collapsed in each city? Text doesn't clarify.

• Reworded; better? Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "At Babinda, sixteen other structures were crippled" Crippled or destroyed? Clarify word meanings.

• Done. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "One person was struck by an uprooted tree at Atherton, which suffered the loss of one house." Stuck meaning killed or injured?

• Injured. Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "At Millaa Millaa, the cyclone damaged 12 dwellings, and hundreds of farms, also impeding access to power and water supplies." Isn't a farm a "dwelling"?

• A residence, or place of habitation. You don't live in a barn. (Also, tweaked farms → barns for clarity, since that's what was implied.) Cloudchased (talk) 20:04, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

to be continued....

• "Police officials noted that the cyclone tore off the local station door" A police station? fire station? What?

• The prior. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "The cyclone drove a small vessel ashore at nearby Banana Island;[10] in addition, a teenage girl was severely impaled by a flying slab of iron in downtown Innisfail,[13] later dying as a result of her injuries;[15] meanwhile, at Malanda, a man was knocked off a shed roof by a strong gust and was subsequently declared dead." Run-on senetence

• Killed it. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "Debris and flooding also resulted in the impediment of parts of the Bruce, Gillies, and Palmerston highways." - can this be tweaked, confused by meaning.

• Done. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "Nearly 400 mm (16 in) of rainfall was produced at Cardstone" - I'm sure rainfall isn't produced in mass quality at Cardstone.

• Word changed. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• "damaged dozens of houses and upset electrical poles" grammar

• Fixed. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• The lead mentions while "ecological and environmental damage, if any, was mild" while the last paragraph of impact states "Ecological damage was wide-ranging and extensive." Be consistent.

• Err, yeah. Cloudchased (talk) 21:59, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

• All three images are clearly free of use, WP:AGF on off-line sourcing and the on-line sourcing shows no close paraphrasing concerns. Thanks Secret ^account 21:48, 4 March 2014 (UTC)