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Talk:Cyclone Tia/GA1

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 06:04, 29 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "was the first of six tropical cyclones to affect Vanautu, during the 1991–92 South Pacific cyclone season" - proof? And nix the comma
    • Have a look down the bottom at the other countries section, click on Reference 12 and then count with me Tia, Betsy, Daman, Esau, Fran and Innis. If you require further proof let me know.Jason Rees (talk) 18:45, 29 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Over the next few days the system gradually developed further within an area of light winds in the upper troposphere, before it was named Tia, early on November 16, after it had become a category one tropical cyclone on the Australian tropical cyclone intensity scale." - since it's the lede and just a summary, cut everything after November 16. Also, remove the comma after "Tia"
  • "Later that day because of a developing northerly steering current" - I think "due" would work better here, but your call
  • "Anuta Island" - since this is the first mention of any land area, you should say what country you are referring to here
  • Ive reworked this sentence to say Solomon Island: Antia.Jason Rees (talk) 00:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "10 – minute" - why the spacing? Ditto later with "1 - minute"
  • "Tia started to gradually weaken under the influence of cooler sea surface temperatures and strengthening vertical windshear, as it moved southwards under the influence of a strengthening upper level northerly wind flow." - too long, don't say "under the influence" twice.
  • "before it was last noted during the next day" - too many references to time. Get rid of "during"
  • " the Fiji Meteorological Service's Nadi Tropical Cyclone Warning Center, started to monitor" - long name aside, why the comma?
  • "During that day the system moved towards the south-west before it sharply turned early the next day and started to move eastwards as an equatorial westerly wind burst took place to the north of the cyclone." - try rewording a bit and add a comma here, too long
  • "of above 30 °C (86 °F)" - above seems weird here. Try "over"
  • "During that day the system's upper level outflow characteristics became more favourable for further development before TCWC Nadi reported at 01:03 UTC the next day, that the system had developed into a category one tropical cyclone on the Australian tropical cyclone intensity scale and named it Tia." - try again...
  • "Tia moving slowly " - missing word?
  • ", where it had been producing hurricane force windspeeds a few days earlier" - is this necessary?
  • "The advisory warned that Antua, the Duff Islands and the Santa Cruz Islands were being threatened by the developing tropical depression with winds becoming strong and possibly reaching gale force in some areas within the next 24 to 36 hours.[1] Over the next day, despite the system moving slowly eastwards on a track that appeared to be taking the system well away from those islands, TCWC Nadi kept warning of the threat to the Islands.[1] TCWC Nadi subsequently issued their final special advisory for the islands later that day, after the system had continued to move eastwards and did not appear to pose any threat to any part of the Solomon Islands.[1] However early on November 17, TCWC Nadi started to release special advisories for the islands after it became apparent that Tia had changed direction and was now moving towards the south-southwest, towards the eastern most islands of Anuta and Tikopia and the Duff Islands.[1]" - what is the significance of any of this? This could all be consolidated into one or two sentences. It basically says that the warning agency told the islands to look out, a storm might be coming. That's what warning centers are meant to do. If these warnings have significance, and something actually happened as a result of them, then I could see there being use, but it seems like needless detail.
  • "Tikopia was the worst affected island after more than 1000 people were left homeless on the island, with 90% of all dwellings were completely destroyed and the remaining 10% either having walls destroyed or roofs blown off" - since this is probably the reason the storm was retired, I think you could split these sentences, and perhaps explain where Tikopia is.
    • Im in two minds about how to work this: one thought is too add the distance from Port Villa, Vanuatu (~600 km northeast), the second is to Honiara in the SI (~1000 km southeast), another is with no distance.Jason Rees (talk) 22:41, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The cyclone also destroyed seven of the eight church buildings and all but one of the classroom buildings belonging to the two primary schools while food crops were completely destroyed with all coconut trees either blown down or uprooted." - ditto here. Cut this into two (the latter being after "food crops")
  • "salinating food crops such as taro and damaged the water supply system on the island" - for verb consistency, it should be "damaging". Also, "salinating"? Orly?
  • "Sustained windspeeds of 133 km/h (85 mph), wind gusts of 133 km/h (85 mph) " - so gusts and sustained were the same?
  • "Late on November 17, TCWC Nadi started to release special advisories for Vanautu after it had become clear that the systems south-southwest movement, would bring the cyclone sufficiently close to the Banks and Torres Islands to cause either gale or storm force winds.[1] Over the next 24 hours, TCWC Nadi continued to issue these bulletins as the system moved southwards and brought gale force winds to Maewo, Pentecost and the Banks Islands before they issued the final advisory early on November 19" - see what I said above about warnings in the Solomons
  • "Tia was the first of six tropical cyclones to cause damage within Vanautu, during the 1991–92 South Pacific cyclone season" - why the comma?! And I don't want a simple answer like "done". I seriously wonder why you put a comma when the flow just dictates not having a comma there.
  • "and caused minor damage that was mainly confined to houses, crops and fruit trees on the Banks and Torres Islands." - that being said, this could be its own sentence.
  • " flying corrugated iron" - I think "flying debris" would work better here.

All in all, decent article, just some basic fixes to do. Good work! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 06:04, 29 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Any estimate on how long it will take to address all of these? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:34, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Great, just a few last things. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:23, 10 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I bolded the outstanding things. It's really, really minor what's left. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 07:17, 14 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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