Talk:Cyclone Hudah/GA1
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 19:55, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "The cyclone was the last in a series of three cyclones that impacted Madagascar during the year." - Using "cyclone" twice in the same sentence in close proximity is repetitive. Systems, maybe?
- Changed the beginning to "It". Easy enough :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Moving westward as the result of a strong subtropical ridge to its south, the storm quickly intensified, and had reached Category 2 cyclone intensity on March 25 before entering the Southwest Indian cyclone basin." - No need for "had".
- "The storm moved westward across the Indian Ocean." - Since movement hasn't changed from a few sentences ago, I'd just remove this part.
- Good call. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "It weakened greatly over land, but re-attained tropical cyclone status on April 5." - Maybe you should clarify it strengthened once moving offshore. I had to look at the track map to see if it intensified appreciably over land. o_O
- Hah, done. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Hudah and reached 10 minute winds of 160 km/h (100 mph) by the time it made landfall on Mozambique near Pebane, Mozambique, on April 8, and dissipated by the next day." - Erroneous "and".
- And removed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "While in the vicinity, Hudah brought moderate winds to Rodrigues, St. Brandon, and Tromelin." - Wikilink these places?
- Sure thing. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "The cyclone affected the same parts of Madagascar that were previously impacted by Eline and Gloria." - Wikilink these storms?
- Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "convection increased as vertical wind shear decreased,[2] and the system developed a curved band pattern." - Sentences begin with capital letters, Andrew. :)
- Harrison wrote that :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Once the storm crossed 90°E on March 25, the Météo-France's La RéunionRegional Specialized Meteorological Center (MFR) began tracking the system as moderate tropical storm, giving it the name Hudah." - Add "a" before "moderate tropical storm".
- AOK. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Hudah gradually intensified, and a Tropical Rainfall Measuring Mission (TRMM) pass over the system indicated a developing eye, with an eyewall primarily in the northern semicircle." - The second part of this reads weirdly. Maybe "with the formative stages of an eyewall observed mainly in the northern semicircle."?
- Better? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Atmospheric divergence remained favorable,[2] and Hudah eventually restrengthened, attaining tropical cyclone intensity at 0000 UTC on March 27,[5] while located approximately 1,200 km (750 mi) southeast of Diego Garcia." - Wikilink divergence...maybe to here?
- I never know with divergence. That works better than nothing. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Despite computer forecast models suggesting that Hudah would recurve westward again, the storm instead slowed down in forward motion, giving it time to strengthen in the Mozambique Channel." - Forward motion and direction are two different things. Using "instead" implies that the storm defied forecasts by slowing down, although your sentence never lists the models' forecast forward motion, just direction. Are you following me?
- Yea. I tweaked this section around. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Upon making landfall late that day, Hudah impacted the same regions that were effected earlier in the year by Cyclone Leon–Eline and Severe Tropical Storm Gloria." - Is "late that day" necessary since you already said it in the previous sentence?
- Agreed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "Maroantsetra, a coastal town, was flooded by the strong storm surge,[16] and as a result seven people died." - Using strong in relation to storm surge is pretty weird.
- Debatable, but I removed it. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- "After the storm, the United Nations Disaster Management Team (UNDMT) assisted the Conseil National de Secours (CNS) in Madagascar with surveying areas effected by Hudah." - I've always struggled with affect/effect. Would this be affected?
- I blame TAM :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- Why is there a larger than average space between the second paragraph of the lead and the Contents box? /nitpick
- Weird spacing. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- There's a space between references 4 and 5 in the second paragraph of the Meteorological history. /nitpick
- Fixed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- The tropical cyclones portal box goes inside the See also section. /nitpick
- Fixed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
Overall, a great article, nice work. I'll be glad to pass once these comments have been addressed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 19:55, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, although a lot of credit goes to @TheAustinMan: who made most of the article. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2014 (UTC)