Talk:Cyclone Fakir/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Destroyeraa-alt (talk · contribs) 23:57, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be doing this:

The system concentrated into a tropical depression by 23 April and was given the name Fakir later that day. Add a comma after "April".

hours before passing just off the east coast of Réunion. Could be simplified to "hours before passing just east of Réunion."

IMO "Fakir" is written too many times. Try replacing some usages with "the storm" or "the cyclone".
- The remnants of Fakir slowed down and turned east-northeastwards on 25 and 26 April "The remnants of Fakir" → The remnants

Total damage across the island exceeded €15 million (US$17.7 million).[22][23] Why's this in the middle of the second paragraph? I find its placement a bit awkward, as you're not done with other impacts unrelated to damage.

A small protest broke out in Pamplemousses over alleged failure by the authorities to hand out allowances to disaster victims.[54] Damage to crops caused by the rains resulted in an increase in the prices of vegetables by 20 percent in the week following Fakir.[55] This info belongs in the aftermath section, not the preps and impacts.

At least 360 firefighters conducted at least 253 operations on 24 April to ensure the wellbeing of civilians, including 5 rescues. "to ensure the wellbeing of civilians" is unnecessary and rather redundant, since that's what firefighters do.

A disaster declaration was issued for 15 municipalities as a result of agricultural losses during Fakir; many farms were destroyed, with some requiring up to a year for repairs.[60] and A disaster declaration was issued for the municipalities of Les Avirons, Bras-Panon, L'Entre-Deux, L'Étang-Salé, Petite-Île , Saint André, Saint-Benoît, Saint-Joseph, Saint-Leu, Saint-Louis, Saint-Pierre, Saint Philippe, Sainte-Marie, Sainte-Rose, and Sainte-Suzanne, as a result of severe flooding and mudslides.[65] For the latter sentence, I count 15 municipalities. Are they the same, or are they different?