Talk:Cyclone Alibera/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Juliancolton (talk · contribs) 19:43, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like a solid page at first glance. I'll add any comments I have as I go along...

In the first sentence, maybe adding "on record" would improve comprehension a bit?

Good call. Normally I do that but I forgot this time. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Nitpicking, but I think MFR should be mentioned before the JTWC, to make it more clear that the JTWC is a "secondary" agency.

I switched the order, that's fine. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The storm shifted directions while moving generally southward - I'm not quite sure what "shifted directions" means. From where, to where?

Clarified the various turns. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

After the storm, the Malagasy government requested for international assistance. - did they "apply for" or "request" assistance?

More the latter. RW at first said "THE GOVT HAS NOT REQUESTED INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE", but later said "GOVT APPEALED ON 19 JAN 90 FOR INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE". it wasn't an appeal, more of a plea. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The first named storm of the season, Tropical Cyclone Alibera formed on December 16 about halfway between Tromelin Island and Diego Garcia. - the syntax of this sentence threw me off a bit. Is it meant to be "[The first named storm of the season, TC Alibera,] formed on...", or [The first named storm of the season,] TC Alibera formed..." ?

The latter. I clarified it. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

In the MH, the JTWC upgrading a non-existent system to hurricane status needs to be presented a bit better by differentiating between operational advisories and the BT.

Hopefully it makes more sense now. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"equivalent of a minimal hurricane" in the lead, but "equivalence of a super typhoon" in the MH. Is that intentional?

All are now "equivalent". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The cyclone shut down the city's water system, disrupted to the ocean - ?

Oops. Missing word. That's what I get for rushing. :/ ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

prevented ships from delivering supplies by ocean - I don't think "by ocean" is necessary, unless the ships were able to navigate rivers and deliver stuff further inland or something.

Hah, good point. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"also" is used four or five times in the third para of the impact section, making it seem a bit clunky.

Trimmed a few. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That's about it. It's a short article, so I figured I could afford to be thorough. :) On-hold for now just to be safe, but it shouldn't take more than ten minutes to fix this stuff. I did a few minor edits myself, but as always, feel free to revert anything you disagree with. – Juliancolton | ^Talk 19:43, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I did it in nine minutes :P Hope these work fine. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]