Talk:Curtis Aiken/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 05:11, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Another one! I will (ideally) be able to review this within one week. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 05:11, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Cool I am happy now to pass this wonderful article for GA status. Congrats! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:01, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

Earwig says good to go.

Prose

In the lead, can "record for a few years" be given a more specific time frame?
- O.K. although I do not do this for any of his college records.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:47, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yeah, I think it looks more informative for the lead section. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:00, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In the first efn note, give a short description of what the NYPHSAA is since it as no wiki entry. This will help provide some context for readers as to how this is source authoritative on records.
- I just linked it.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:49, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In § High school, recommend opening with his full name. Also:
- OK.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:51, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Should "As a youth" not end in a comma?
- Yes-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:52, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"in Buffalo" – wikilink.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:54, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"West New York team" – does this have an article?
- No. The hope is that the reader learns from the Empire State Games link.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:58, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"was a NYPHSAA record" – here too, like the efn note.
- ??????N-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 11:57, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - Oh I see! You misspelled NYSPHSAA as NYPHSAA so when I searched it on Wikipedia I did not find any entry for it. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:00, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"career total to 2,162 (disputed)" – why is this disputed?
- This is the same content described in EFN[a]. Can I use that EFN twice in the same article?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 12:02, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes! @TonyTheTiger: For future reference, I added {{efn|name="Dispute"| to the first efn note and typed {{efn|name="Dispute"}} to repeat it. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:00, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"It was only the second time" – just "It was the second time" would suffice.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:14, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"(McDonald-sponsored)" – no need for parentheses, and it should be "McDonald's-sponsored".
- thx-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:44, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"and he was not announced within 5 days of the hiring announcement of Brown" is an awkward sentence.
- Is it OK now?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:05, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yep—looks good. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:00, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"in field goal percentage" – should be "in field goal percentage with". Also:
- Thx.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:07, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Change 56.9% to 56.9 percent per MOS:%.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:14, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"60%" – 60 percent.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:15, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Wikilink MVP.
- Done-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:17, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
How about "and Louisiana–Lafayette, and was joined on the tournament team" for improved flow?
- That would be ungrammatical. You would have to retain the he to make the comma appropriate to set off an independent clause, but then we would essentially be back where we started.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:23, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"games open division, Aikens and" – Aikens?
- Is this better?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:26, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes, nice work! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:00, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"39.3%" – percent.
- Done.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:27, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I would split the third sentence in § Career to "Panther broadcast in 2010. When Groat became unable …" otherwise it reads jaggedly.
- Thx.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:30, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Refs

Passes spotcheck on refs 3, 18, 20, 34, 40 and 57.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.