Talk:Cristiano Ronaldo/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 22:30, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately I have chosen to fail this article as I feel it doesn't meet the criteria. While it looks comprehensive, the prose is not of GA standard and referencing needs more work. My issues and suggestions are as followed:

First off, I would advise you to have a look at other football articles, which are of GA or FA standard. Compare the style and structure, look at its reviewing process and take some ideas on board. Thierry Henry is a good example though it has passed an outdated FA criteria.
The lead is far too long. At most there should be five paragraphs, but this has six. Though it acts as a good summary for his football career, there is next to nothing about his personal life, his role outside of football, how he took an interest in the sport. It's very stats originated → "Ronaldo was the first player in England to win all four main PFA and FWA awards", "...is the first top European league player to reach 40 goals in a single season in two consecutive years, fastest Real Madrid player to reach 100 league goals, and the first player to score against every team in a single season in La Liga," you need to pick and choose which records stand out.
There are a few dead links, which means information cannot be validated. The criteria also asks for references to be stylised consistently, which in this case they aren't. Is it BBC Sport, or BBC Sport; The Guardian's location is given as UK in one source, London in another. Retrieval dates aren't given in some sources.
"After I joined, the manager asked me what number I'd like. I said 28. But Ferguson said 'No, you're going to have No. 7,' and the famous shirt was an extra source of motivation. I was forced to live up to such an honour.", I know this quote is from Ronaldo, but you can't start the sentence like it is.
"However he came to the attention of Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson in the summer of 2003", shouldn't that be Sir Alex Ferguson
"Ronaldo made his team debut as a 60th-minute substitute in a 4–0 home victory over Bolton Wanderers," and "He scored ten goals in all competitions, and fans voted him to his first FIFPro Special Young Player of the Year award in 2005." no reference to support either of these sentences.
"He was sent off in the Manchester derby at the City of Manchester Stadium on 14 January 2006 (a game which United lost 3–1) for kicking City's former United player Andrew Cole", what does it need to be mentioned that Andy Cole used to be a United player?
"In November and December 2006, Ronaldo received consecutive Barclays Player of the Month honours, becoming only the third player in Premier League history to do so after Dennis Bergkamp in 1997 and Robbie Fowler in 1996", that's not what the source says. He recieved the latter accolade in January 2007 for December's Player of the Month
"He scored his 50th Manchester United goal against city rivals Manchester City on 5 May 2007" another sentence which isn't cited
Is team-mates (He also helped him to work better with his team-mates) hypenated or not (...aimed a green laser at Ronaldo and United teammate Nani)?
"On 26 June 2009, Real Madrid confirmed that Ronaldo would join the club on 1 July 2009 from Manchester United for £80 million (€94 million) becoming the most expensive footballer in history,[82] after agreeing terms and signing a six-year contract", that's not the case now, I'm sure Gareth Bale is the most expensive player?
Be careful with overlinking. Ferguson's name has been wikilinked twice.
Avoid quoting full sentences, paraphrase when nessesary.
What makes this a reliable source? Or this, or this?

I went as far as his Real Madrid career because it would be pointless to list every problem I could find. Just because the article looks comprehensive doesn't mean it will pass a GA or FA review; sources must be reliable and valid and it must read well. I would advise you (should you wish to have another crack at GAN) to focus cleaning up the text, condensing his time at Real Madrid so it doesn't read like a game-by-game account. Go over the sources and make sure the material in the article is covered by the sources. Have the article copyedited preferably before sending it over here again. This is good in parts, but for a celebrated footballer like Ronaldo it can be more comprehensive in certain areas; he has an autobiography out and has done documentaries which would clear up some missing information. Feel free to have this article reassessed if you think the review is wrong. Lemonade51 (talk) 22:30, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]