Talk:Crex/GA1
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Reviewer: Stemonitis (talk • contribs • count) 19:03, 16 September 2011 (UTC)
This article is looking pretty good, and is presumably intended to be part of a featured topic (if not, it should be), so expect the following comments to be on the nit-picky side... --Stemonitis (talk) 19:03, 16 September 2011 (UTC)
- Fine. Yes, FT is the aim Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- What happened to the genus Ortygometra? Is it now a synonym of Crex? Are there other synonyms of Crex? I imagine Crecopsis must be one. If there aren't too many, they should probably also go in the taxobox.
- I've added the synonyms to the taxobox, also the species (previously omitted). Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- "There are no subspecies of either Crex crake." I think I would be tempted to say "No subspecies are recognised... ", or "No subspecies have been described... ".
- "... temperate Eurasia from Britain and Ireland east to central Siberia and western China..." Is there any good reason not to use the term "British Isles" here?
- "Nearly all the South Africa population of about 8,000 birds..." Should that be "South African population"?
- I am not familiar with South Africa, but it seems odd to described its distribution in terms of the former province Transvaal. I appreciate it is more concise that way, but could this be explained using the modern boundaries instead?
- It isn't as easy as that, the former province is now split between three others, and using the old name is by far the simplest Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- There appears to be a word or phrase missing from "drier zones on the southern edges of the and South Africa's northern and eastern".
- removed stray the and Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- When you refer to "Sao Tome", are you referring to the island (as seems to be implied by following it with Tenerife), or to the country (as implied by the link)? In either case, the accents are needed, so it should be either "São Tomé" or "São Tomé and Príncipe".
- In the figure caption, "Grassland in Africa are..." needs to be made to agree.
- There is a slight ambiguity in the phrase "or too dense to walk through" – too dense for the bird to walk through, or too dense for you and me to walk through?
- "bird" addedJimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- Similarly, "They walk with a high-stepping action" – does this refer to the males or to both sexes?
- Added "species"
- "3 to 11 pink-coloured eggs" Why isn't that just "pink eggs"?
- Why indeed? Done Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- To a reader who doesn't understand the full meaning of 'precocial', "Unlike many precocial species, chicks are fed by their mother to a greater or lesser extent" is confusing. It seems to say that, unlike others, they are fed more or less. Could you do without "to a greater or lesser extent"?
- now for a few days Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- Is there some reason why spiders and beetles are not linked in the list of food items, when all other items are?
- "Parasites recorded in this genus include the widespread fluke Prosthogonimus ovatus, which lives in the oviducts of birds, has been recorded in the Corn Crake"?
- Corn Crake bit removed, oviduct bit parenthesised Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- What do we learn from the picture of the "Corn Crake flying over hay meadow"? Yes, the bird's in flight, but it doesn't seem to be particularly educational, or particularly well tied to the text.
- image removed Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- I think this long sentence should be broken up to make it clearer: "Apart from the reduced suitability of drained and fertilised silage fields compared to traditional hay meadows, in western Europe the conversion of grassland to arable has been aided by subsidies, and further east the collapse of collective farming has led to the abandonment and lack of management of much land in this important breeding area."
- Loss of habitat is the other major threat to the Corn Crake, since drained and fertilised silage fields are less suitable for breeding than traditional hay meadows. In western Europe the conversion of grassland to arable land has been aided by subsidies, and further east the collapse of collective farming has led to the abandonment and lack of management of much land in this important breeding area Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- There are citations to "Koffijberg & Schaffer", but no bibliographic information about that source.
- Oops, added citation Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for thorough review, much appreciated Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:03, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- Good work. I thought of a couple more things overnight, but found that they had already been dealt with. This is an easy GA pass. --Stemonitis (talk) 07:20, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- Many thanks Jimfbleak - talk to me? 10:35, 17 September 2011 (UTC)