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Talk:Court of Neptune Fountain/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
Passed. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 04:48, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: APK (talk · contribs) 03:37, 22 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 03:54, 15 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey APK, I'll have a go at reviewing this article. I know I recently reviewed another one of yours, so I'll leave it for a month before reviewing another so that you have an opportunity to have a diversity of reviewers.

Prose and content

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History

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  • Someone jumping to the history section begins in media res. Better signposting is needed.
  • Prose is awkward here, instead of "The [building] was built between..." it is "Construction of the [building]... lasted from"
  • In the second part of the first paragraph, you're communicating that the fountain, being ornate, fits into the building's decor. This should be the heart of what you're communicating. The building features many ornate details, including a large water fountain on the west side, below the main entrance. Two stairwells and eight pairs of ionic columns are also features on the west side of the building. is wordy and the relevance of the stairwells is ambiguous. The specificity of the locations of these places is excessive. They should be short glosses, elaborated on in relation to the Court of Neptune Fountain.
  • what was then-called the Library of Congress Building why is it important we know what the building was originally called? It probably can be integrated, but as it stands reads as an unnecessary digression. There is value in calling it the Thomas Jefferson Building consistently, especially if you are not noting when its name was changed in the history. It should also be included in the lede if it is consistently being referred to as the Library of Congress Building throughout.
  • The sculptor chosen to design the fountain and its statues was Roland Hinton Perry -> Roland Hinton Perry was chosen/selected to...
  • whose other works include were all these works extant at the time? Preserve tense, i.e. whose works included... He later created...}} You can omit later works unless they're the source of his main notability
  • After studying at the Beaux-Arts de Paris, the Académie Julian, and the Académie Delécluse, why is his education relevant? This breaks the flow by inserting a biography of the sculptor in the middle of a paragraph. This also creates unnecessary ambiguity when immediately after referring to "the building"
  • and two years later, he was commissioned to design the fountain.[1][2][3] By late 1896, most of the interior and exterior features of the building had been completed. Construction crews began preparing the area for the fountain around the same time tighten up the timeline
  • Also by late 1896 -> By this time,
  • had been designed by Perry -> Perry had designed
  • Can 'founding' be changed to 'casting'? This seems to be the more common word.
  • This section appears to fall into the trap of relying on primary sources, leading to issues around PROSELINE. Instead of Also by late 1896, the Neptune sculpture had been designed by Perry and was waiting for the Henry-Bonnard Bronze Co. to complete the founding.[4] The foundry shipped each piece of the sculpture to the fountain site after its completion.[5] -> By this point, Perry had finished designing the Neptune sculpture. It was then cast cast by the Henry-Bonnard Bronze Co and shipped to the site piece-by-piece/in pieces.
  • In addition to Perry, redundant
  • architect Albert Weinert Why is he described as an architect? The wiki page for him doesn't mention architecture
  • The architects who worked on the fountain are -> Other architects who worked on the fountain include
  • In January 1898, some of the last of the fountain's sculptures arrived at the construction site.[8] cut, TMI due to proseline
  • By the next month, the last piece of the fountain, a naiad, was installed.[9] Following its completion on February 23, 1898, -> The fountain was completed on February 23, 1898 with the installation of the final piece, a naiad.
  • Move the Perry quote to the design section.
  • Art critic Charles Henry Caffin said the fountain specify that he said this at the time for clarity.
  • The next year, the building was designated a National Historic Landmark on December 21, 1965. The year doesn't need to be mentioned if it's "the next year". Suggest: On December 21 of the following year,
  • The fountain and its sculptures have been cleaned and restored on numerous occasions
  • These repairs have included broken concrete and issues with the water pipes -> have included fixing broken concrete and water pipes
  • In 2001, the fountain was used as an example of nude statuary in Washington, D.C., along with many other artworks. The reasoning behind its inclusion was after U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell denied permission to display nude artworks in the Russell Senate Office Building rotunda. Artist Raymond Wiger responded by pointing out the Court of Neptune Fountain features nudity and said "It's probably the most explicit...just a block across from the U.S. Capitol." This paragraph is quite confusing. Use more active prose, condense by quite a bit.

Location and design

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I think everything else is fine, but this is the one I'd say should more firmly be changed: this is in the "location" section, so discussing whether it is a "historical reminder" is off topic, as with "aesthetic beauty". The sentence should be changed to read A reporter for Roll Call said the Court of Neptune Fountain serves as " doorman to the Library." Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 04:43, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
 Done APK hi :-) (talk) 09:31, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions

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Sources

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  • [2] Green tickY
  • [4] Green tickY
  • [6] Green tickY his role should be specified as bronze founderer
  • [9] Green tickY
  • [10] Magenta clockclock
Follow WP:GBOOKS
I can't find quotes in the pages provided. Please provide these.
  • [12] Green tickY
  • [14] Green tickY
  • [16] Green tickY
WP:GBOOKS again

Other

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  • COPYVIO/OR 37.5% earwig, quote Green tickY
  • Broad Magenta clockclock pending how quotes are treated I would like to see reception discussed.
  • Too narrow Magenta clockclock PROSELINE causing indiscriminate issues noted
  • Neutral Green tickY
  • Stable Green tickY
  • Images well annotated Green tickY

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:54, 15 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Can you explain what you mean by "Someone jumping to the history section begins in media res. Better signposting is needed." I think the other issues have been resolved. Regarding the infobox, I removed the founder, but I feel like the sculptors and architects are relevant. APK hi :-) (talk) 09:13, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Mostly good changes. Sorry for misspelling in medias res, that can't be helping. I meant that someone jumping to the History section of the article will be confused as to why it's describing the Thomas Jefferson building and Library of Congress for three lines, given the lede is meant to be a summary of the body, it should be introduced (signposted) why this is being discussed.
I know it's a pain, but I'll also ask you to respond after each point with whether/how you've addressed it. I can see from a scan that you haven't found any material for a reception section, and either didn't see or didn't think it necessary to address the comment about several purposes: aesthetic beauty, historical reminder and. I'm unsure if there's any other comments you didn't address/took issue with. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:47, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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