Talk:Corallivore/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dunkleosteus77

ref no. 1 has a doi of 10.3354/meps07531 and ref no. 2 has a doi of 10.1007/s00338-014-1173-y User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
You might just wanna go back over all the journal refs to check for doi numbers User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like facultative and obligate lead to a disambiguation pages, so just define the word instead of wikilinking it (such as, "...facultative, not depending solely on coral") User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Do you know what species Jacques Cousteau was observing in 1952? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Could you put the Etymology statement as a sentence? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Future note, be sure to wikilink science words like "genera" or "gastropod," and be careful not to wikilink to a disambiguation page User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence about the sea urchin Eucidaris thouarsii needs a ref User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
You described Eucidaris thouarsii as a scraper before you had described what a scraper is. I'd say you should put the Types of corallivory and Feeding strategies sections directly after Etymology User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Future note, use {{convert}} when using units or measurements of any kind User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Instead of using Arothron meleagris, you might wanna use "golden pufferfish" User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Asking a question here, how exactly did you choose which species to discuss in the Corallivery in nature section?
I know you have radula wikilinked but you might also want to explain quickly what a radula is, and that zooxanthellae is a type of plankton User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'm seeing in the table there's a problem when sorting by Phylum. What you wanna do is go back and fill the Phylum parameter for each species User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Response

Thank you for your thoughtful review and sorry again for the delay. Here we go:

Changes made to article:

Added DOIs. Couldn't find one for citation #8.
Added definition of facultative corallivore to "Types" section, deleted line about facultative/obligate in the lead, its probably better without it.
Turned etymology section into a complete sentence.
Moved "corallivory in nature" section and made "impacts on ecosystem" a subsection. Definitely a better flow, thanks for that observation.
Added citation for Eucidaris thouarsii sentence.
Fixed table.
changed Arothron meleagris to golden pufferfish.
Added more context to the sentence concerning radulas.

Additional comments:

Regarding your question about the organism observed by Cousteau, I don't know right now. I'll try to dive deeper into that and see if I can find the genesis of that fact.
Thanks for your tips on linking science words and using convert
The organisms discussed in the "in nature" section were based off of what was present in the literature I had available and had citations to support. Most organisms included are significant in their local environment for their corallivory and some are cases that readers might find interesting, such as the crabs that keep coral clean to eat mucus.

@Dunkleosteus77: All finished, let me know what you think. Thanks again, I appreciate all your comments. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 23:03, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

More comments

You should discuss Darwin's discovery and Cousteau's description in the main text instead of just in the lead User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:55, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
There's some overlap between the Feeding strategies and In nature sections (like, "Some use their long mouth like forceps and some scrape with an open mouth," in In nature) User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:55, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Why do you say Acanthaster planci instead of crown-of-thorns sea star? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:55, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Is this article written in British English or American English? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:55, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Why'd you say Porites compressa instead of finger coral? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:55, 16 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

More responses

Thats a good suggestion, I will take a deeper look into Darwin and Cousteau's experiences and see what I can find and will try to create a "History" section.
I changed the sentence about butterflyfish to make it connect with the material in the "Feeding strategies" section without overlapping. I removed all examples from the "Feeding strategies" section and moved anything relevant to the "In nature" section to make a clearer distinction between content.
This article is written in American English. If you notice any grammar that needs improvement, let me know. I did have some trouble writing the etymology section, wasn't sure what the best verbiage would be.

I'm asking because {{convert}} automatically uses British English (so it says "metres") so you need to add the parameter |sp=us User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 22:16, 17 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ah ok, I understand. I added the parameter. Thanks for showing me that. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 22:41, 17 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

As for the scientific names, this is one of the first projects I worked on for Wikipedia, so there are a few things I would do differently if I wrote it today. I think I was thinking that not all of the organisms would have a common name (such as the Drupella snails), so to stay consistent I used scientific names for all the organisms. I see now that that is probably not the most accessible for our readers, so I'll go through and change all the scientific names to common names, as applicable. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 21:26, 17 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Aug 19 update

I have removed the sentences regarding Darwin and Cousteau from the lead, since there is no supporting information in the body. I did a quick look around to find more about those encounters, but wasn't able to find much of anything, so for now I'll leave it out. I will try at a later date to build a history section including those encounters if I can find additional sources to support. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 19:26, 19 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Do corallivores have a specific digestive system or anything? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 01:12, 21 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look into that. I know that certain organisms have adaptations to facilitate corallivory, like strong teeth or strong digestive enzymes. I'll see what I can add.^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 02:14, 21 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Aug 24

Haven't forgotten! I'll have some time to look into this today. Will keep you updated. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 16:54, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Theres a lot more out there on adaptations/evolution than I thought, so this might take a while. Should be done by Sunday evening (PST) at the latest. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 21:14, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Aug 26

Added everything I could find on adaptations. During that time, I found the original source about Darwin's discovery of corallivory, so I'll add that in later tonight and ping you when its all ready. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 23:10, 26 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Okay that's good. Also you don't have to keep repeating the same reference after every sentence in a paragraph (so instead of, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate.[1] Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]," it's just, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate. Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]"), so long as it's clear which ref was used for a sentence it's fine User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:18, 26 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback. I personally like to do it that way so it is easier for editors to add or move sentences in the future; I find it more difficult to add to people's work when its unclear exactly what content is covered by which citation. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 23:27, 26 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

dunkleosteus77, Ok! All finished. :) ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 03:38, 27 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

What year did Darwin do this, and while you’re there you’re missing a space before ship’s name, and after that, that about wraps it up. Good job and good luck on your next marine project User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:56, 27 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done and done. Thanks again for your thoughtful comments. ^†Basilosauridae ❯❯❯Talk 04:48, 27 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]