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GA Review

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Reviewer: CheCheDaWaff (talk · contribs) 12:32, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Hi, I plan to review this article. I should be done some time today. ♫CheChe♫ talk 12:32, 20 January 2017 (UTC)c[reply]

Many thanks for taking it on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 12:42, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Summary

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All in all there are only some relatively minor problems with the content of this article itself (including one complaint about captioning), and what issues are present here should be easy to fix. However, I have some more serious concerns about the citations/referencing in this article. To be clear, the content seems accurate, but some issues need to be addressed here.

I remain confident that these issues can be solved in a timely matter, which is why I am putting this article on hold for now. I look forward to further input from the nominator or any other editor.

Many thanks. Nothing looks too major. I've never seen replies from anyone but nom, however. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:29, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Oh I have once. Someone came in to the process half way through to help with something they had initially written. They ended up staying and helping until the end.

Breakdown

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  • Writing
  1. The prose could be clearer in places. I have included a list of suggested copyedits at the bottom that I think would improve the readability of the article.
    • (Lead, 2) Is there any way you could make the subject of this sentence clearer? "On a molecular level, that can happen..."
    Removed.
    • (Distinctions: Cladistic definition) Lots of long brackets here make it harder to parse. Is there any way this could be incorporated as more flowing prose?
    Done.
    • (Distinctions: Parallel vs. convergent evolution, 1) This paragraph should be rearranged. The meaning-of / difference-between parallel & convergent should be introduced earlier in the paragraph.
    Done.
    • (Animal morphology: Flight, 1) It sounds like the text is saying insects evolved from organs. "...they evolved separately from different organs."
    Reworded.
    • (Animal morphology: Flight, 2) This phrase is extremely awkward: "...flying squirrels and sugar gliders are very different." Maybe instead comment on how they are alike (as in the source).
    Done.
    • (Animal morphology: Insect mouthparts) What does this mean: "which can be experimentally quantified". To what is it referring?
    Removed.
    • (In Plants: Carbon fixation) What does this mean: "sizeable minority" ?
    Said 'several'.

    Compliance with manual of style:

    [edit]
    1. ✓ Lead section.
    2. Layout is mostly ok. There are a few areas for potential improvement.
      • The location of the 'see also' link to the examples page is in a odd place. Consider putting this in the 'See also' section.
      Renamed and cut down to one link, which is specific to the Flight section that it's in.
      • In the morphology section, there doesn't seem to be any rationale of the ordering of headings. Can this be improved?
      Alphabetic order.
      • Why is the section 'Skin and eye colour' entitled how it is? The content here is more (specifically) about humans/primates.
      Renamed.
    3. The tone and impartiality is sometimes off.
      • (Overview, 1) Can we get something more impartial/descriptive than 'recognised' here? "Richard Owen was the first to recognise the fundamental difference..."
      Said 'identify'.
      • (Overview, 3) This is idiomatic. Can it be changed for something more literal? "...if the tape of life were re-wound and played back"
      Reworded.
      • (At molecular level: Nucleic acids) This is a relative time phrase (it will make itself out of date automatically): "As more sequence data become available, examples of convergence at the level of DNA and amino acids are being discovered"
      Fixed.
      • (Animal morphology: Skin and eye colour, 2) Make sure the reader isn't the subject. The word 'our' is used twice and 'us' once in this paragraph.
      Fixed.
      • (Animal morphology: Skin and eye colour, 2) Don't use an instructional tone (inform; don't instruct). "The simple idea that people are usually first taught..." etc. should be removed or refactored.
      Fixed, I hope.
    4. (N/A) Fiction.
    5. (N/A) List incorporation.

Verifiability & Original Research

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  1. Some references are missing important information.
    • (1) This is a dead link. Online Biology Glossary Archived December 28, 2012, at the Wayback Machine.
    Removed.
    • (10) This is a dead link. Zhang, J.; Kumar, S. (1997). "Detection of convergent and parallel evolution at the amino acid sequence level" (PDF). Mol. Biol. Evol. 14: 527–36. doi:10.1093/oxfordjournals.molbev.a025789.
    Removed link.
    • (40) This has a dead doi link. Lorts, C.; Briggeman, T.; Sang, T. (2008). "Evolution of fruit types and seed dispersal: A phylogenetic and ecological snapshot" (PDF). Journal of Systematics and Evolution. 46 (3): 396–404. doi:10.3724/SP.J.1002.2008.08039. Archived from the original (PDF) on 2013-07-18.
    Removed. The meta page is http://www.sciencemeta.com/index.php/JSE/article/view/1580606 and it doesn't provide a DOI for some reason.
    • (5) Provide ISBN and page number please. Gould, S.J. (1989). Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History. W.W. Norton & Company.
    Done.
    • (6) Provide page number please. Conway Morris, Simon (2005). Life's solution: inevitable humans in a lonely universe. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-60325-0. OCLC 156902715.
    Done.
    • (9) Provide ISBN and page number please. Hennig, W., Phylogenetic Systematics. University of Illinois Press, 1966.
    This needed attention. Focussed the text and replaced refs.
  2. ✓ Sources are reliable.
  3. Some sources do not seem to support the content.
    • (1) Seems like this should say similar problems can lead to similar solutions. Can you confirm with (2) Reece, J.; Meyers, N.; Urry, L.; Cain, M.; Wasserman, S.; Minorsky, P.; Jackson, R.; Cooke, B. Cambell Biology, 9th Edition. Pearson. p. 472. ISBN 978-1-4425-3176-5.?
    Said 'can'.
    • (29) This is cited in the same place twice. Wilhelmi, Andreas P.; Krenn, Harald W. (2012). "Elongated mouthparts of nectar-feeding Meloidae (Coleoptera)". Zoomorphology. 131 (4): 325–37. doi:10.1007/s00435-012-0162-3.
    Good catch. Fixed.
    • (12) Source says that there is a false dichotomy, rather than them being indistinguishable. Is it possible/necessary to reword this? Arendt, J; Reznick, D (January 2008). "Convergence and parallelism reconsidered: what have we learned about the genetics of adaptation?". Trends in Ecology & Evolution. 23 (1): 26–32. doi:10.1016/j.tree.2007.09.011.
    Reworded.
    • (20) It's not clear that this source supports the content. I can't even see insects mentioned. "Plant and Animal Evolution". University of Waikato. Retrieved 10 January 2017.
    Ref was displaced 2 sentences: now moved up. Added a ref for the now uncited bit.
    • (27) This source doesn't seem to mention convergent evolution. Krenn, Harald W.; Gereben-Krenn, Barbara-Amina; Steinwender, Bernhardt M.; Popov, Alexi (2008). "Flower visiting Neuroptera: Mouthparts and feeding behaviour of Nemoptera sinuata (Nemopteridae)". European Journal of Entomology. 105 (2): 267–77. doi:10.14411/eje.2008.037.
    Removed.
    No access. I don't currently have access to the following sources. I therefore cannot assess if they support the content. If you have access to any of these, screenshots or scans would be greatly appreciated.
    Not to hand.
    Ok I've checked with my library and it looks like I should be able to get these. It'll probably take at least a day or two, but then once these are checked we should be pretty much good to go.
    • (2) Reece, J.; Meyers, N.; Urry, L.; Cain, M.; Wasserman, S.; Minorsky, P.; Jackson, R.; Cooke, B. Cambell Biology, 9th Edition. Pearson. p. 472. ISBN 978-1-4425-3176-5.
    • (3) Thunstad, Erik (2009). Darwins teori, evolusjon gjennom 400 år (in Norwegian). Oslo, Norway: Humanist forlag. p. 404. ISBN 978-82-92622-53-7.
    • (5) Gould, S.J. (1989). Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History. W.W. Norton & Company.
    • (6) Conway Morris, Simon (2005). Life's solution: inevitable humans in a lonely universe. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-60325-0. OCLC 156902715.
    • (8) Lomolino, M; Riddle, B; Whittaker, R; Brown, J. Biogeography, Fourth Edition. Sinauer Associates. p. 426. ISBN 978-0-87893-494-2.
    • (9) Hennig, W., Phylogenetic Systematics. University of Illinois Press, 1966.
    • (14) Dawkins, Richard (1986). The Blind Watchmaker. W. W. Norton. pp. 100–106. ISBN 0-393-31570-3.
  4. ✓ Likely-to-be-challenged information is cited.
  5. ✓ Statistics cited.
  6. ✓ No original research.
  7. ✓ No copyright violations / plagiarism.
  • Topic Coverage
  1. ✓ Addresses main aspects of topic.
  2. ✓ Stays focused.
  • Neutral point of view
  • Stable

Illustrations

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  1. ✓ Images present if possible.
  2. ✓ Correct copyright tags.
  3. There may be an issue with the content of two images.
    • In 'Animal morphology: Skin and eye colour' there is a cladistic diagram. The text on the diagram appears to be in error. It says: "Did the same genes change to make eyes blue in both lineages." I thought the text said that the same gene (locus) was not responsible. Am I missing something here?
    Added explanatory captions under both images.
    • There is also an almost identical issue with the other diagram in this section.
    As above.
  4. There are some issues with a lack of captions. Again this relates the the two diagrams in the 'Skin and eye colour' section. I am mainly worried about the cladistic one, since it may not be obvious that the diagram is trying to represent.
    As above.
  • Previous review issues adequately addressed (if applicable). (N/A)
  • No technical issues.

Suggested Copy Edits

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  • (Lead: 1) Functionally similar features that arose through convergent evolution -> 'have arisen'
Done.
  • (Animal morphology: Body plans, 2) 'much modified' a little awkward -> 'significantly modified' (or something else other than 'much adjective')
It was correct, but tried 'strongly'.
  • (Animal morphology: Opposable thumbs) Maybe drop the 'however' in "evolved in pandas, however, ..."
Said 'but these'.

--♫CheChe♫ talk 18:01, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

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I've already had a look at one of these sources. I'm planing to do two more today, and then the last two on Monday. --♫CheChe♫ talk 11:26, 22 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

    • (2) p 472. Reece, J.; Meyers, N.; Urry, L.; Cain, M.; Wasserman, S.; Minorsky, P.; Jackson, R.; Cooke, B. Cambell Biology, 9th Edition. Pearson. p. 472. ISBN 978-1-4425-3176-5.
    This one is an issue. The page (and indeed whole chapter) given is about genomics and genome sequencing. However, I did find "...convergent evolution occurs when similar environmental pressures and natural selection produce similar (analogous) adaptations in organisms from different evolutionary lineages" on p.586. There was also mention of convergent evolution, homologies and analogies on p.510-511, with reference to sugar-gliders/flying-squirrels and Marsupials/Eutherians. --♫CheChe♫ talk 14:46, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    This was only supporting the general claim that similar ways of life (niches) lead to convergence, as discussed in more detail in the Gould ("wonderfullife") ref and the Conway Morris ("SCM2005") ref shortly afterwards. I've added 2 more general refs (the first one with a detailed quote to save you looking it up).
    Yeah that's fine, the page reference was just definitely wrong before. It's good as it is now.
    • (5) p 283. Gould, S.J. (1989). Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History. W.W. Norton & Company.
    This one was interesting. It was definitely talking about the right stuff, but the author never explicitly says what the article claims (on p.283 at least; although the metaphor of rewinding a tape does come up). However, I did find this quote on p.285: "Our evolution is a joy and a wonder because such a chain of events would probably never happen again, but having occurred, makes eminent sense." The author does skirt around the idea at length, so I think the content will be adequately supported if we extend this page reference to: pp282-285. --♫CheChe♫ talk 12:51, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    Done.
    • (6) pp 18, 164✓, 167✓, 170✓ and 235✓. Conway Morris, Simon (2005). Life's solution: inevitable humans in a lonely universe. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-60325-0. OCLC 156902715.
    p18 is about possible convergence of the DNA code (ATCG) (Though I may be reading a different edition here). This isn't in the article. Everything else seems supported.
    Done.
    • (8) p 426.✓ Lomolino, M; Riddle, B; Whittaker, R; Brown, J. Biogeography, Fourth Edition. Sinauer Associates. p. 426. ISBN 978-0-87893-494-2.
    This one is ok.
    • (14) p 100-106 Dawkins, Richard (1986). The Blind Watchmaker. W. W. Norton. pp. 100–106. ISBN 0-393-31570-3.
    This is fine.
  • @♫CheChe♫: I believe we're all done now. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:05, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

    Yeah, I think so. I'm just going to have a re-read of everything to make sure it's all still intact. --♫CheChe♫ talk 15:28, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    @Chiswick Chap: There's a missing end-quote in the tape-rewinding sentence. Other than that everything seems to be in order. Sorry for the somewhat arduous reference checking but I'm now happy to pass this as soon that tiny fix is made. Well done! --♫CheChe♫ talk 15:41, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    @♫CheChe♫: Done. Reviewers can fix such small things, actually. Many thanks for the careful review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:44, 23 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    Well done Chiswick Chap on getting this article to GA! It's been fantastic to watch its transformation and update. And, of course, well done to CheChe for the task of reviewing. T.Shafee(Evo&Evo)talk 06:31, 10 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]