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Talk:Consulate General of France, Jerusalem

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This article should be eligible for appearing on the main page as a "Did you know" entry, if it is nominated it soon; it is supposed to be nominated within 5 days of being created or significantly (5x) expanded.

The instructions for nominating it are at Template talk:Did you know. Basically, all you need to do is take this code: 

{{subst:NewDYKnom| article= | hook=... that ? | status=new | author=  }}

and write the hook, a concise and interesting bit of info from the article beginning with "... that" and ending with a question mark. The info from the hook has to be present in the article and supported (in the article) with a citation. Someone will double-check to make sure the source says what it's claimed to say.

Once you've come up with a hook, fill in your username as the author and fill the title of the article, then add the above code, including your hook following the "hook=" part, to the top of the appropriate section for the day the article was started on the DYK template talk page. The code will produce an entry formatted like the others. After that, just keep an eye on the entry; if anyone brings up an issue with it, try to address it. I'll keep an eye out as well. If everything goes well, it will appear on the Main Page for several hours a few days from now.

--Sage Ross - Online Facilitator, Wikimedia Foundation (talk) 02:18, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Err, nevermind, it looks like User:Fetchcomms has already nominated this. So just keep an eye on it, and hopefully it will end up on the main page soon.--Sage Ross - Online Facilitator, Wikimedia Foundation (talk) 03:13, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Peer Review: tlogan

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Overall, very strong article. I think that you should try and cut out a lot of the repetition. Assume that in some of the paragraphs the reader has a knowledge of information that you presented earlier in the article. Or, briefly include some of the same information in a short phrase…For example, “The Consulate General is responsible for diplomatic relations with the Palestinian Authority.” This information is repeated many times. In some paragraphs, you could adjust the sentence by saying, “In addition to its diplomatic responsibilities…” Rephrasing the information makes it sound less repetitious.

“Louis XIII sent the French diplomat Louis Deshayes de Cormenin who achieved a certain success”…with what exactly? You could clarify with “success in gaining new rights for the Latins” etc.

The below sentence is very long. Try breaking it up because it gets hard to follow.

“Later, when a Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem was re-established in 1847, despite France's prior reluctance to the appointment of Giuseppe Valerga as a Patriarch (mostly because he was a citizen of the rival Kingdom of Sardinia and the Grand Master of the Order of the Holy Sepulchre, a Franciscan Order), the Consul General of France Helouis-Jorelle recognized Giuseppe Valerga's high distinction when he arrived in Jerusalem on January 17, 1848.”

The word “state” in “State of Israel” should be capitalized

Maybe you should use a different word than “tumultuous” in the introduction?

I suggest that you remove the following sentences from the intro…they are mentioned later and are not necessary “intro” material.

“The presence of consuls in Jerusalem remained interrupted until 1843. Amidst the growing competition between European powers over the exclusive protectorate that France was entitled to exercise over Christians, the rank of the Consul in Jerusalem was raised to that of a Consul General in 1893. Despite the abolition of France's protectorate over the Latins and the Turkish-ruled Holy Places in 1914, the Consulate General tried to maintain and expand its influence in Palestine. Since the creation of the state of Israel in 1948, the Consulate General of France in Jerusalem has held the status of a quasi-embassy.” Log24 (talk) 00:13, 18 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified one external link on Consulate General of France in Jerusalem. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

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