Talk:Constantius III/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gug01 (talk · contribs) 23:11, 11 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See bottom
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	See 2a for comments about external links.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	The attribution of these sources are not according to layout. Take any good article or even featured article, say Lion. In it, the "notes" are in expanded form, not the short form the article leaves it in (although the bibliography at the bottom is OK). Below that, in the extended links section, there is no reason to put a link towards more information in Wikimedia commons, as well as the fact that there is no reason whatsoever to have an entire chart with the people before and after Constantius III on the bottom - such a chart, rather than the comprehensive pull-down of Roman Emperors, should be located at the top as part of the infobox.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.

There should be more information added if possible about his military conquests. Also, all of his military conquests need not be packed in one paragraph. Did he do anything as emperor of importance? What about his early life (before 411)? Gug01 (talk) 23:23, 11 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Not really, given his exceptionally short reign. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

1A Clarifying Prose, 3A, 3B Information:

Lead: "That same year, he was sent to suppress the revolt of Constantine III. Constantius led his army to Arles, and defeated Gerontius, a general rebelling against Constantine, before himself besieging Arles. After defeating a relief force led by Edobichus, Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, offering a safe retirement to a monastery. However, once Constantine had surrendered Constantius had him imprisoned and then beheaded."

Where is Arles (Gaul) the reader might want to know.
Y
Add: He was sent to suppress the revolt of Constantine III, a rebellious general-turned-emperor from Britain.
I've mostly added this; it's important to note that he isn't recognized by historians as a legitimate emperor. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Add: He led his army to Arles, Gaul, the capital of Constantine III's army
Done
Unclear: Constantius III was fighting against Constantine III, right? So why would he defeat one of Constantine III's rebel generals before defeating Constantine III? The switch from attacking Gerontius to Constantine III should be made clear.
He did this because he wanted to siege Arles but the rebel general was there. So he defeated the general and sieged Arles. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, offering a safe retirement to a monastery. However, once Constantine had surrendered Constantius had him imprisoned and then beheaded." - very specific material, cut down in size: the details are not necessary. Say something like: "Constantius convinced Constantine to surrender, promising safe retirement, but betrayed and beheaded him as soon as he surrendered." Makes it seem more compressed.

Gug01 (talk) 23:43, 11 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Break up sections: Break up "life" into more categories - "Early life" (what little is known), "War Against Constantine III" (or something of that sort), "Later Conquests", "Ascension to Emperor", "Death". The categories obviously aren't set in stone, but it isn't a good idea to have the whole article in one section. Most of them will be really short, but that only underscores the fact that this article needs more information to be added to it. Gug01 (talk) 23:45, 11 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Rest of article: In general, the rest of the article doesn't really flow well, with abrupt endings to sentences and repetitions. Considering how the article should anyway be broken up into more sections and more information should be added, I will refrain from specific suggestions for now, but will give more feedback later. Gug01 (talk) 23:47, 11 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Iazyges (talk · contribs) Adding to that, the rest of the article could be expanded on. Gug01 (talk) 21:32, 13 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

There is not more information to be added. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Gug01: I have implemented your suggestions where possible. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:49, 18 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]