Talk:Concept album/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 18:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Review coming later... Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

This article is about the topic of concept albums → I would rather say "...about the album type", but it's up to you
Link "critics" to Music criticism
no discernible consensus.[6][3] → refs need to be in numerical order
and subsequently popularized → and was subsequently popularized
but the term is more often → replacing "but" with "although" will make the sentence flow better
and the rock opera → "the" is superfluous here
many concept albums have been released across many different → replace one "many" with "several" to avoid word repetition

Done all above --Ilovetopaint (talk) 03:24, 3 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Definitions

Concepts are general ideas, thoughts, or abstract notions → I would add something like ",according to [AUTHOR]" (In this case being a dictionary)
a "concept album".[7][6] → refs need to be in numerical order
which ran into some of the same difficulties → which ran into similar difficulties
the rock album format → Maybe I'm dumb, but I don't really know what that is, and I think uninformed readers will also struggle on that. Is there a link to an article on this topic we could add? Otherwise, you will have to give a little bit of an explanation of the term
particular theme -- these are the → replace "--" with "—"
rock & rollers → Link to Rock and Roll
Author Jim Cullen describes it: "a collection → Author Jim Cullen describes it as "a collection

Done all above--Ilovetopaint (talk) 17:09, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

History

1940s–60s: Origins

Yes keyboardist → Please say "English band Yes keyboardist" for further context
composers making concept albums → I would replace "making" for "producing" or "creating"
Some of the themes were about exploring wild life; some were made to be played while dining or relaxing; others were more abstract and centered on emotions → Themes included exploring wild life and dealing with emotions, with some albums meant to be played while dining or relaxing.
Sinatra is sometimes credited → Sinatra is sometimes occasionally
According to biographer Will Friedwald: "Sinatra sequenced → According to biographer Will Friedwald, Sinatra "sequenced

Done all above --Ilovetopaint (talk) 03:24, 3 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

variously cited as "the first concept album" → you're talking about more albums, so it should be plural

"variously cited as 'the first concept albums'"? That would confuse the reader to think that those albums are considered by various writers to be among the first concept albums, but the actual point is that various writers can't decide which is the first. --Ilovetopaint (talk) 17:27, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

favours Sgt. Pepper → Referring to an album under a shortened name could be confusing, so I would write out its full name each time

What other album known as "Sgt. Pepper" could the reader possibly be confused with?--Ilovetopaint (talk) 17:27, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

According to music critic Tim Riley → Link "music critic" to Music criticism
Freak Out! [June 1966] → only the release year is important here
There exists claims for other records → Selected observers claim for other records
but the fact → however the fact (better flow)
has been largely ignored → "ignored" is very unencyclopedic; please find another fitting word
(December 1965) and the Who's The Who Sell Out (December 1967) as other examples of early concept albums.[30] Brian Boyd of The Irish Times names the Kinks' Face to Face (October 1966) → we only need the years of the release; the months are superfluous

Done all above --Ilovetopaint (talk) 17:27, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

1960s–70s: Rock operas and progressive rock

In 2015, Rolling Stone ranked Dark Side of the Moon number one → In 2015, Rolling Stone ranked Dark Side of the Moon at number one
50 greatest prog albums → I know "prog" is shorter for "Progressive rock", but you should stick with the full name as it may confuse readers
Image > Genesis performing their concept album → Artists cannot perform albums, but rather material from it

Done all above --Ilovetopaint (talk) 07:20, 3 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

1980s–present: Decline and return to popularity

which valued single over album → which valued singles over albums
Everything else looks nice here ;)

Done all above --Ilovetopaint (talk) 07:20, 3 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

Note 1 > Who is "he" ("he starts out playing alone") and what relevance has this information to the article? This note needs more explanation.
Note 3 has an issue with citing + reference Sgt. Pepper by its full name
Note 5 is completely irrelevant to the article. Why is it important to mention that albums were turned into films when we're talking about them being "most famous concept albums by any artist"?

Other stuff

Copy-violation

34.6% is still an acceptable score!

References

As far as I could check them, the references (most of the time books) do cover the assertations made in this article
No dead links! Good job!

Outcome

I'm putting this article On hold for 7 days, allowing you to implement my queries above. I think the article is in quite a good shape and informs the reader on the topic's most important things. While I read through this article's past failed GA review, I think the main issues have been solved, and I do agree with you that the article should not cover every single concept album that had a bit of success, as it would easily become unfocused. Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:22, 22 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Ilovetopaint: Is there any news? I'm reminding you that the 7-day-period is gone, but I'm ready to give you more time if you will respond. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:28, 2 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I completely forgot about this. I'll start going through these. --Ilovetopaint (talk) 03:24, 3 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Ilovetopaint: Remember you have to still work on two sections. Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:34, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Passing! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:33, 5 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.