Talk:Comme un garçon

Tone issue

@Moscow Connection: For the third paragraph of composition, which begins:

Yet we see that Vartan, who really matured (turned into a provocative young woman with a sensual voice) in the two years she had been married to Johnny Hallyday,[5] didn't become a "frenzied feminist".[1]

There are tone issues as (1) it's expressing someone's opinion in Wikipedia's voice and (2) it's directly addressing the reader ("we see"). I couldn't access the audio clip (ref [5]) to sort out whose opinion it is, so I'm not sure what to do without a translated transcript or some idea of what we're working with.

To keep the focus on the contrast between the "like a boy" lyrics and the "little girl" lyrics maybe the paragraph should simply start: However, Vartan was not a "frenzied feminist"[1].

Earlier, there might be a better alternative to "full throttle", though it connects with the motorcycle imagery so I've left it for now (or until I can think of something better).

Please let me know if you have any information on that reference or if you have any questions or concerns. – Reidgreg (talk) 16:33, 17 December 2017 (UTC)

Thank you for the copyedit! I think the best idea for me is to provide a transcript of this part. I'll do it tomorrow. --Moscow Connection (talk) 00:03, 18 December 2017 (UTC)

The part is based only on these two excerpts:

1.

En 1968 Sylvie Vartan n'est plus une petite fille. Elle est devenue une femme belle et provocante, laissaint exprimer une féminité à fleur de peau avec une voix sensuelle. [Les jeunes filles vient de l'aplaudir sur scène et voient en elle leur incarnation de leurs désirs. Son repertoir doit être à la hauteur de leur espérance dans une époque en mutation.]

In 1968 Sylvie Vartan isn't a little girl anymore. She became a beautiful and provocative woman, expressing high-strung femininity with a sensual voice.

— "Sylvie Vartan - Comme un garçon" (Fabien Lecœuvre, France Bleu)

2.

Deux ans après son mariage avec Johnny Hallyday, Sylvie Vartan n'est pourtant pas devenue une féministe forcenée. Dans les bras de son aimé, elle redevient une femme-enfant, comme le rappelle le refrain de sa chanson : "Tu fais ce que tu veux de moi, c'est beaucoup mieux comme ça".

Two years after her marriage to Johnny Hallyday, Sylvie Vartan has not, however, become a frenzied feminist. In the arms of her lover, she, as stated by the chorus of her song, rebecomes a woman-child: "You do what you want with me, it's much better like that".

— "Sylvie Vartan - Comme un garçon" (Le Hall)

--Moscow Connection (talk) 22:22, 21 December 2017 (UTC)

@Moscow Connection: thanks so much! Just to verify, the first piece is attributed to Fabien Lecœuvre, a person. The second piece is from the website Le Hall, presumably by unnamed staff writers? – Reidgreg (talk) 14:40, 22 December 2017 (UTC)

@Reidgreg: Yes.
By the way, there's an article about Fabien Lecœuvre in the French Wikipedia. You can read who he is there.
And Le Hall de la Сhanson is a website maintained by an organization called the National Heritage Center for Songs, Variety Entertainment, and Contemporary Music. They say their organization is supported by the Ministry of Culture and by SACEM and that their website is conceived as a virtual song museum (source). --Moscow Connection (talk) 15:02, 22 December 2017 (UTC)

Excellent! That sentence might be a little long but I think the tweaks to it have settled the tone issue. I used the interlanguage link for Lecœuvre and moved the link for France Bleu down to the reference. In the first sentence I changed emancipation to Sexual Revolution which I thought was more specific. Nice article and an interesting DYK! – Reidgreg (talk) 16:56, 22 December 2017 (UTC)

Thank you very much! --Moscow Connection (talk) 17:28, 22 December 2017 (UTC)