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Talk:Coming Home (Diddy – Dirty Money song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:50, 5 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • "The contemporary hip-hop pop song was written by Diddy, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, Alex da Kid and Skylar Grey, the latter of whom also has featured vocals in the chorus." - clumsy
  • "Inspired by autobiographical moments in Diddy's life," - moments are not autobiographical
  • AMAs should not be italicised

Inspiration and composition

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  • ""Coming Home" is a downtempo hip-hop, pop song" - hip-hop and pop
  • "When speaking to Grant" - first name needed
  • "Later Diddy would call" - use past tense
  • The last two chords link to keys, not chords
  • "It uses a simple chord progression" → It uses/follows the basic chord progression
  • "As well as noting the song's tribute to The Notorious B.I.G in the line "I miss you, B.I.G" - incomplete sentence
  • Bill Lamb is unreliable, remove
  • "When asked, by Radio 1 Live Lounge's Trevor Nelson, about what "Coming Home" was based on," → When asked by Radio 1 Live Lounge's Trevor Nelson what "Coming Home" was based on,
  • Radio 1 Live Lounge links to a compilation album

Critical reception

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  • ""Coming Home" generally received a good reception" - rewrite
  • "and noted "Coming Home" as one of the album's highlights," - name the album

Chart performance

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  • "Consequently "Coming Home" outperformed all of the group's previous singles on the Hot 100 and Digital Songs charts.[19] Consequently, the song also peaked higher than two of the three songs mentioned in the lyrics" - repetitive
  • ""Coming Home" had officially sold one million digital copies" - remove the "officially"
  • "Internationally, the single got off to a strong start in Belgium. It debuted on the Flanders Tip Chart at number twenty-six[21] as well as on the Wallonia Tip Chart." - rewrite
  • The sentences about Swiss charting are a bit of a mess, please rewrite
  • Australian and German charts need to be linked
  • The song has reached the top ten in Ireland, Scotland, Poland, New Zealand, Austria and France; these placings should be mentioned in the prose
  • There is a lot of text about British radio (A-lists etc). Not only is this from one radio network, but I feel it is somewhat trivial. Many people (including myself) do not actually understand A/B/C lists, and frankly, don't care

Live performances

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  • This section is generally placed after the music video section
  • Give the date of the Idol performance

Music video

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  • Video Static and Glamourvanity.com are unreliable
    • Video static is reliable, it is run by one Steven Gottlieb who is the former Senior Editor of music video trade magazine CVC Report. Additionally his website is supported and sponsered by many music video production companies who house some of the biggest music video directors e.g. Dave Meyers, Chris Robinson, Marc Webb, Francis Lawrence, LITTLE x, Marc Klasfeld, Melina, Colin Tilley amongst others. Hardly unrelibale — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 18:19, 5 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the background and foreground, the fire-damaged remnants of a home such as a TV set, fur coats and a stereo system." - incomplete sentence

On hold for seven days. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:02, 5 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am satisfied now, listing. Well done. Adabow (talk · contribs) 23:58, 5 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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