Talk:Come My Fanatics…/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Famous Hobo (talk · contribs) 15:36, 7 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Also, @Andrzejbanas:, just in case you don't see this.

Lead

You might want to include the band's main genre in the first sentence. If you believe they don't fall under one subgenre, then just describe them as a heavy metal band. It's important to tell the reader what type of band and album they're getting into in the first sentence.

I'm always a bit anxious about that, but I'll state they are a heavy metal band in the lead. I figured personally that the opening paragraph covers the rest of it pretty good, but no worries. I'll keep it broad and say they are a heavy metal band. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:09, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Oborn described the release as a reaction to the sound on the earlier album, which he had felt was not as heavy as he wanted the group to sound. The sound on Come My Fanatics… was described by Lee Dorrian as breaking the traditional doom metal sound with an unpolished approach. The word "sound" is used four times in two sentences. Perhaps a small copyedit to remove some of the repetition?

Haha. Good catch. Fixed. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:09, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

By the way, who's Lee Dorrian? You mention he's the owner of Rise Above Records in the second paragraph, but not in the first.

Clarified. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:09, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The sound on Come My Fanatics… was described by Lee Dorrian as breaking the traditional doom metal sound with an unpolished approach. Could you do a small copyedit for this sentence? It may be that I'm just a bit tired, but it took me a couple of times to fully understand this. How about "...as breaking from the traditional doom metal sound, with an unpolished and chaotic approach."

Sure. Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:09, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Production

After forming, Electric Wizard recorded their self-titled debut album, which was released in 1996. Could you include a little bit of information about the formation of Electric Wizard? Even just including the year they formed would make the sentence transition smoother.

Other than their previous groups, I think Oborn's push to make a more Black Sabbath inspired band covers it. I've added the year and a little secondary commentary on the sound of the first album. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:27, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Music and themes

An audio sample would be really helpful here. I decided to listen to the first few minutes of the album and I could already tell what "a wall of sludge so thick that even the most experienced of metal heads couldn't help but be overwhelmed by its power" meant.

I've added a sample that includes a use of sampling and a bit of "Wizard in Black", which I think captures that sound specifically well. Andrzejbanas (talk) 05:12, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Release

In Finland, the album charted in 2011, charting higher than other metal groups such as Within Temptation and American acts such as Jennifer Lopez, Adele and Lady Gaga. Do you know why it charted all of a sudden in 2011? Also, noting that the album charted higher than some other bands and artists ins't particularly useful information, and almost seems like bragging. I get that your trying to show how an album from a niche subgenre can chart higher than some mainstream acts, but it comes across as bragging and promotion.

I wish I knew!! I've looked up some information and from my own personal conclusions, I've only found that Electric Wizard albums were being re-issued around this period (Their albums have been re-issued countless times though) and they also played a big metal fest in Sweden that year. Otherwise, I can not really figure out what made it chart at this period otherwise and the rest is just original research. Also, it's not almost like bragging...its totally bragging! :D I was going to propose that we say that charted alongside popular acts, but that's not really following WP:STICKTOSOURCE. I'll just remove them. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:33, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Everything is in order, although perhaps cut back on the number of direct quotes, and instead paraphrase more. Quotes if used properly can really land a punch and showcase just how important whatever aspect of the article it's referring to, but having too many quotes not only lessens their impact, but can also ruin the flow for the reader. You don't have to do this here, but just keep it in mind for your future articles.

Its definitely something I'm struggling with as a wiki editor, but I'll leave this as it is now without risking making them worse now. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:36, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Everything else

Looks good, not much to say.

Sources

Properly formatted, although I'm not sure why Metal: The Definitive Guide needs to be in its own subsection, since you only source the book once.

Great. I think I formatted the book this way out of habit, and under the assumption i'd find more book sources. Well, I didn't! So I've re-formatted the book source now. Makes sense to me. Andrzejbanas (talk) 04:40, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Overall a nice, compact article about an important metal album. I'll give it the standard seven days treatment. Famous Hobo (talk) 15:36, 7 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @Famous Hobo:, I think I covered everything here. Andrzejbanas (talk) 05:12, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, everything looks good. Did some small copyediting, mainly just adding and removing wikilinks since that stuff is easy. Looks like it's time to promote this article, nice job! Famous Hobo (talk) 06:09, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]