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Talk:Coin Coin Chapter Three: River Run Thee/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Shaidar cuebiyar (talk · contribs) 22:20, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Starting the review

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I will be going through each of the criteria below, in order. I reserve the right to return to earlier comments or sections and revise or add to them until my review is finished. Unless otherwise indicated, maintain existing wikilinks and formatting. The review process should take about a week. I will allow an additional week for any requested changes to be made before making my decision. I have no problem with editors starting to fix up the article before I have finished, but caution them that I may not see their improvements until late in my review process: I may refer to problems that no longer exist.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:20, 19 September 2022 (UTC)23:00, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 1

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It is well written.

a. the prose is clear and concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; the spelling and grammar are correct: ; and
b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation::

Infobox and above

  • Provide a {{short description|}} template, e.g. 2015 studio album by Matana Roberts
  • At type= use studio instead of album
  • Check date format (throughout the article). If the artist is an American then one usually uses Month Day, Year format (see next comment)
  • For released= use {{start date|2015|02|02}}, which will display as February 2, 2015

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:20, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking up this review! I will add comments / do fixes as you review if that's alright. All the above done, except for the first. What is the reasoning for adding a SD template when the infobox autogenerates one? Is there a technical restriction that I'm unaware of? — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:39, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Nah, its just that auto-generated ones aren't always precise.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:54, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • Remove , as CST110 from end of second sentence. Not needed for Lead, could be in Track listing or Releases sectn (if you had one).
  • Clarify sequence of albums, Infobox has Always (2015) as the artist's next album, while Lead has it followed by Memphis (2019). I know you're referring to the sequence within the series but this is not clear in that sentence.
  • Reword end of sentence, which includes the phrase "is an exploration of". I'd remove American history (as redundant) and switch "and much more" with another one or two from Background's second ¶.
  • Reword "was performed by solely Roberts," This wording is awkward. By the way, does this include all samples?
  • Song titles have double quote marks, viz.: "The Star-Spangled Banner" By the way: be consistent with this song's title, article sometimes shows "Star-Spangled Banner" instead.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I like how you've reworded this. It reads better.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • De-link over-linked terms: second occurrences of Pitchfork and Rolling Stone

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:54, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:36, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Background

  • "of Coin Coin, Roberts' planned" > "of Coin Coin, Matana Roberts' planned" Full name and wiki-linked for first time in main text.
  • "American history and African-American history" > "American history, specifically African-American history" The latter is a subset of the former.
  • "The series also" > "It also" Avoids following sentences starting in same way.
  • Is there a significant difference between "her familial ancestry" and "her lineage"? I'd remove the latter as redundant.
  • "The name was" > "Her surname was". Precision.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:25, 19 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:36, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Recording and ...

  • "was performed by solely Roberts." Awkwardly worded (see above).
  • "Even though the album was performed solo," Redundant, given previous sentence.
  • the album was still called the "most vast" of the series by Spectrum Culture, > It was described as the "most vast" of the series by Jake Cole of Spectrum Culture, Note: de-link red-linked terms.
  • Likewise: by Tiny Mix Tapes' Jazz Scott.
  • Also, check ref tabs: list in numerical order (article wide).
  • bolster her singing and saxophone." Moved full stop inside quote.
  • Is "The Star-Spangled Banner" a traditional or folk song?
Its origins in the 1800s make me think it can be considered a traditional song, but I can change it to a better example of a folk/traditional song if you'd like.
  • Roberts also used a recording of Gertrude, a homeless woman, from 2014. Use current source [16] to verify first name of this woman.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:32, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:36, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I'd describe "The Star-Spangled Banner" as nationalistic. If you want to stick with traditional or folk, then pick a better example.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:43, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

  • Album ratings template:
    • Order seems messed up. Why start with rev3score = ? Scores should be listed alphabetically, i.e. start with AllMusic. Reconfigure the rest.
    • De-link red-linked term.
  • De-link terms linked previously in the main section e.g. Pitchfork, Rolling Stone
  • Try to vary wording, e.g. "the album", "called the album" and "described the album" are over-used.
  • Also provide who wrote Pitchfork's list: the ref has two writers named.
  • Pitchfork quote cited to one writer, how do you know they wrote that part? I missed the GC attribution at end of Roberts' entry: sorry for that.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why is Currin quoted again (twice) in 2nd ¶?
  • Check all apostrophes (article wide): they should be ' not ’

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:09, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

  • Template: delete: "| all_lyrics = Matana Roberts" and "| all_music = Matana Roberts" They're ignored if all_writing is used. By the way do you have a ref for her writing all tracks?
Well, the liner notes don't mention any other writer, so it's a bit of an assumption.
See Criterion 3, below.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:53, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    • Delete other unused parameters.
Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel

Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Audio samples

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:01, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above unless noted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 1 is acceptable now.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:47, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 2

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It is verifiable with no original research:

a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
c. it contains no original research: ; and
d. it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

References I will be checking all the references and each comment below is under their number as they existed at this edit. The order in the article may change from this numbering as refs get moved, added or deleted. Newspapers, journals and other works are generally italicised but publishers are not. Use mdy dates for date, archive date and retrieved date. Every effort should be made to identify author(s). Any bare urls or dead urls should be fixed immediately. Where multiple tabs are placed, check their numerical order.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:22, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  1. Use date of upload for date=. TheNeedleDrop is Fantano's YouTube channel. Better to use author-link for his name (avoids a redirect) and have publisher=[[YouTube]] so readers (me!) are prepared for a video to be played. Content is verified.15:07, 20 September 2022 (UTC)
  2. Wikilink NPR. Use sentence case for title, i.e. and not And At first use of the ref, choose either this one or the one above: both are not needed. Content is verified.
  3. Within title italicise album's title. Provide date. At third use there are four tabs: is it possible to get rid of one of these? Content is verified.
  4. No problems, content verified. At first use, choose one of this or previous ref: both are not needed.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 21:23, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  5. Author named. Issue number shows date=Spring 2015. Content verified. shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:04, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  6. Within title italicise album's title. Wiki-link website=[[The Guardian]]. Content verified.
  7. Fix title. Add date. Wiki-link website=[[The Quietus]]. Content verified.
  8. Fix title. Add year (it appears just after author's name). Content verified.
  9. Fix title. Content verified.
  10. In title: From > from. Wiki-link work. Content verified.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:02, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  11. Fix title. Content verified.
  12. Fix title. Content verified. Note this source mentions "nationalist" songs: is this a better descriptor for "The Star-Spangled Banner"? At g: Gertrude not named in this source. At h: Title of Sullivan's work not shown in this source. Some content not verified but verifiable by other sources in article.
  13. "performed by solely" cf. "[it] had 16 instrumentalists, this is just her" implies instrumentals are all hers but does it include vocals, spoken word or similar samples? Other content is verified.
  14. Fix title. "performed by solely" cf. "was delivered completely solo." This verifies the intent of your comment (especially since Thom lists vocalists in the "new group" used for 4th instalment), just reword it better. Content verified.
  15. Fix title. Content verified. Consider rewording the start of the sentence at a. e.g. Even though all its instrumentals were performed solo, it was still called the
  16. Fix title. Change website=Constellation > publisher=[[Constellation Records (Canada)|Constellation]] Note: wiki-linked. At a: "recording and mixing assistance from" cf. "Recorded and mixed by" The former implies someone else (Roberts?) was recording and mixing as well, which is not supported by this source. Otherwise content verified.
  17. Add date. Content verified. Note: list prepared by both writers but commentary at Roberts' entry is by Currin.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:31, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done all above. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 13:54, 23 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Additional/new references from this version

  • [1]: Remove tab at c: redundant (covered by tab at b). Content verified.
  • [12], [14], [19]: AllMusic or AllMusic? Also, only 1st one should be wiki-linked.
  • [19] Content verified.

Criterion 2 is acceptable.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:46, 23 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 14:39, 24 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 3

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Broad in its coverage:

a. it addresses the major aspects of the topic: ; and
b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style): .

Passed this criterion.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 21:04, 20 September 2022 (UTC) (see following)[reply]

Criterion 3a:

  • Further recording details are found on the liner notes and cover of the album. Includes dates of recording and mixing: June 3–5, 2014; some lyrics attributed to: W. M. Jones Sr.(1922–1984). Perhaps include the latter as a note, below Quotations sectn.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:40, 21 September 2022 (UTC)01:46, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Formats of album not mentioned – both CD and vinyl issued on same day; each with a catalogue number. I haven't checked the track listing to see if they have the same track order.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done; added a release history table. I can't find a RS for the different catalogue numbers so left it out. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 01:15, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Try AllMusic Releases tab. shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:44, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 13:57, 23 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Acceptable at this Criterion.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:03, 23 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 4

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Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each::

There are none that I know of; I sought out all reviews from RS's during the article's writing, although I can double check if wanted. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 00:53, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Album of the Year website has links to three more reviews besides the ones already used. See here.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:41, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I will check these for being RSs, and add them if they are, thanks. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 16:21, 21 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 16:29, 30 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Acceptable at this criterion.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:13, 1 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 5

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Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

Criterion 6

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Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:

a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: ; and
b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: .

Overall

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Overall:

Pass/Fail:

I've finished my review. As indicated above, there are not many problems remaining to be fixed. I will give the nominator, and interested editors, a week to finalise these before I make my decision.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:36, 22 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

How strict is your week deadline? I only have 1 more review to add, but don't have time to finish it today :) — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 02:54, 29 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not that strict, if you need two additional days (from today's date stamp) take them.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:54, 29 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! All outstanding changes should be complete now . Let me know if you have additional changes. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 16:29, 30 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

It passes! Well done, PerfectSoundWhatever.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:15, 1 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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