Talk:Cody Asche/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsguy17 (talk · contribs) 02:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take on this review baseball buddy. I'll begin shortly. Sportsguy17 (T • C) 02:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Sportsguy17. Any idea when you will get to review this? Go Phightins! 01:12, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to take over this apparently abandoned GA review tomorrow per request of the nominator if there is no response by the reviewer by then. Thanks Secret ^account 01:23, 19 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I was really busy. I'm starting my review now. Sportsguy17 (T • C) 00:58, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~OK, I hate do this, but I need to fail this. But even with that,~~ I have left my initial thoughts below. This is a fine little article so far.

Lead

The lead needs a lot more work than this, but I'm going to leave my first few thoughts to see if I can get this toward a GA without having to fail this. To summarize it, his personal life is given little to no mentioning besides his college career/experience, including his current personal life (family, hobbies, etc.)
Put things in the lead in the past tense (ex. majored in economics).

Done (that and the other one).

In the second paragraph, just make the first sentence He was called up by the Phillies in July 2013. Nevertheless and those types of words seem semi-awkward to read.

Did roughly that - didn't include the passive voice, though.

In the second paragraph (last sentence), add who the manager is, since people who don't follow the Phillies or MLB may not know.

Done.

Early Life

Not too much, but one quick thing: Anything in the last sentence beyond the reference of the honor roll should become it's own sentence. Otherwise, this section is good.

Tweaked - think I achieved what you wanted.

Professional career

Minor league section looks good, but change heading to Minor League career

Done - should "league" be capitalized though?

Second section should have a level 3 heading of Major League career, level 4 heading for team/franchise, and level 5 for seasons. The content itself seems good. I do have concerns about stability of this section, since Opening Day is in less than 2 weeks, meaning that section could change some, but I think it should not stop this article from passing this review.

Done. Yeah - stability is always an issue with current players, but he was named the starter yesterday, so that should ease some of your concerns. I will continue to update as need arises throughout the season.

Player profile

The headings of offense and defense don't really work well on my tounge. Perhaps change it to batting and fielding to more accurately describe the positions of baseball?

Done, though worth noting I have seen both.

Personal life

This section needs major expansion. There is very little about his interests, hobbies, family, etc. This is a vital section of the article and can often engage the reader beyond just baseball. This will also factor into the lead.

Is that expansion sufficient? What else specifically would you like to see?

~~If you'd like to re-list this later~~Once you've made the suggested changes, feel free and ping me so I can pass or fail it. Sportsguy17 (T • C) 01:36, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reopening the review, Sportsguy17. Go Phightins! 21:18, 23 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I am passing the article now. I am busy, but remembered I forgot to close this, so I am closing this as a pass. Sportsguy17 (T • C) 00:55, 11 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]