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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sasata (talk) 14:32, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've signed up to review this bird article. Will do a copyedit, and add comments. Might take a couple of days. Sasata (talk) 14:32, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Be as nitpicky as you like as it will (hopefully) go to the snakepit soon...Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:27, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Using eater eggs in not in line with wiki guidelines, so "snakepit" to "WP:FAC" needs unlinking. Snowman (talk) 23:22, 17 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not finished yet, just dropping some comments. More later. Sasata (talk) 15:51, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • where's the history? Who first described the family & when? Is there a type genus?
  • who is Courtney? Richard Schodde? Brown and Toft? (found Courtney, and others buffed a little)
  • if only the common names (Gang-Gang cockatoo and Cockatiel) are used in the Systematics section, I can't determine where they are placed on the phylogram (latin names added for clarity)
  • sister clades - needs 'splaining (=each others' closest relatives)
  • "These dark species have ample melanin..." What dark species? The last sentence was talking about genera (I ditched and rewrote para)
  • "Most species in this group are sexually dichromatic." Again, not completely clear which group is being referred to, is this the "remaining genera" in the first sentence of the paragraph? (yes, this paragraph needs a rewrite I ditched and rewrote para)
  • most of the authority, year listings are in parentheses, but some are not. Is this to reflect some taxonomical convention? (yes, reflects when a species binomial has changed from what it was originally described as)
  • "...requiring two years to for complete renewal." missing word or extra word? (reworded to "their moult taking two years to complete" if that helps (?))
  • what is courtship feeding? (feeding by one bird to the other in a courtship display - I thought it was self-evident but maybe I have been reading these too long...let me think on it)
  • allopreening needs def'n or link  Done - to Social grooming - latter article needs a cleanup..Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:44, 26 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • imperial conversions for egg sizes (done)

continued...

  • the end paragraph of Breeding seems misplaced currently. Am thinking it would be a good start to a new section on predators/threats that could be expanded. A brief scan of the literature shows there are several papers that deal with viral infections, parasites, and other diseases that aren't mentioned in the article (I am looking for something global via google but nothing is jumping out at me really)
  • "between 1983 and 1990, 66,654 Salmon-crested Cockatoos were exported from Indonesia" Someone actually counted them? Seriously, the precision of that number strikes me as odd, how about over 60 thousand? (in general, exact numbers are better than round ones if the figure is known. I will add "recorded")
  • "Mortality is significant (30%) and eggs, secreted on the bodies of smugglers on flights, are increasingly smuggled instead." Huh? I don't understand... the birds lay eggs on smugglers during flight? Aren't the birds dressed in stockings and stuffed into pipes? And are eggs "secreted"? Hadn't heard that usage before. (secreted meaning to carry hidden upon one's person. I thought that was easily understood, but will think of an alternative if that is not)
  • (Yup - converted to "hided")
Lesson learned: Don't make fun of bird trafficking
  • "Trafficking is thought to be run by organised gangs," sorry, this made me LOL, the thought of organized crime syndicates dealing in illegal bird trade... drugs and weapons are so passé these days.
My apologies for making light of the plight of innocent, endangered animals everywhere. Sasata (talk) 07:00, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Didn't mean to snap, but it is cited. And a friend of mine works with rhinos, apparently last year was the worst for people working in that field as the poachers are now armed with very high calibre weapons provided by the gangs. Sabine's Sunbird talk 09:08, 21 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Bird trafficking is a serious crime, and so are drug and weapon smuggling. I would like to make that very clear. Snowman (talk) 11:19, 30 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Boredom may lead to feather-plucking and the development of stereotypic behaviour patterns." like what?
  • "All cockatoos have a fine powder on their feathers," what is this powder? (It is the powder-down mentioned several sections up in the description section. I might try and think of a way of linking these - I wikilinked in second instance (as well as first) as waaaayyy down the page)
  • "Cockatoos are sometimes seen in bird shows, and they can also be trained as pets." the last half of that sentence seems to stick out, as this whole section is talking about cockatoos as pets (good catch - removed)
  • "Cockatoos have been used in animal-assisted therapy, generally in nursing homes." ref? (got one, though I can't find the damn page numbers)
  • Just my opinion of course, but the aviculture subsection doesn't seem to flow well (attempted a rejig)
  • "Cockatoos were painted by Hungarian artist Jakob Bogdani (1660–1724), who resided in Amsterdam from 1683 and then England." So? Haven't many artists throughout the ages painted/drawn/sculpted/carved/welded these birds? (This was unusually early and featured in a book on birds in art through the ages. It does sit rather oddly in the article I concede. I was hoping to find some more material to put in here)
  • ref formats are inconsistent (i.e. some in templates, some not) (think I got 'em all...)

Diseases

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There doesn't seem to be any mention of it in the article, but there's a large body of research about cockatoo diseases. Here's a sampling of papers from just the past two years:

  • Title: Siadenovirus infection in two psittacine bird species.
Author(s): Wellehan, J. F. X., Jr.; Greenacre, C. B.; Fleming, G. J., et al.
Source: Avian Pathology Volume: 38 Issue: 5 Pages: 413-417 Published: 2009
  • Title: Intestinal and haematic parasitism in the birds of the Almunecar (Granada, Spain) ornithological garden
Author(s): Cordon, GP; Prados, AH; Romero, D, et al.
Source: VETERINARY PARASITOLOGY Volume: 165 Issue: 3-4 Pages: 361-366 Published: 2009
  • Title: Cloacal papillomatosis in the absence of herpesvirus and papillomavirus in a sulphur-crested cockatoo (Cacatua galerita).
Author(s): Gartrell, B. D.; Morgan, K. J.; Howe, L., et al.
Source: New Zealand Veterinary Journal Volume: 57 Issue: 4 Pages: 241-243 Published: 2009
  • Title: Microbiology and histopathology of cockatiel lockjaw syndrome.
Author(s): Matsuda, S.; Ohya, K.; Yanai, T., et al.
Source: Journal of the Japan Veterinary Medical Association Volume: 62 Issue: 2 Pages: 143-147 Published: 2009
  • Title: Natural infection with Cryptosporidium galli in canaries (Serinus canaria), in a cockatiel (Nymphicus hollandicus), and in lesser seed-finches (Oryzoborus angolensis) from Brazil.
Author(s): Antunes, R. G.; Simoes, D. C.; Nakamura, A. A., et al.
Source: Avian Diseases Volume: 52 Issue: 4 Pages: 702-705 Published: 2008
  • Title: Psittacine beak and feather disease in Iran, molecular and histopathologic detection.
Author(s): Razmyar, J.; Dezfoulian, O.; Bassami, M. R., et al.
Source: Journal of Veterinary Research Volume: 63 Issue: 2 Pages: 31-35, 58 Published: 2008
  • Title: Ganglioneuroma of the brachial plexus in two cockatiels (Nymphicus hollandicus).
Author(s): Murphy, B. G.; Shivaprasad, H. L.
Source: Veterinary Pathology Volume: 45 Issue: 5 Pages: 690-692 Published: 2008
  • Title: Coxiella-Like Infection in Psittacines and a Toucan
Author(s): Shivaprasad, HL; Cadenas, MB; Diab, SS, et al.
Source: AVIAN DISEASES Volume: 52 Issue: 3 Pages: 426-432 Published: 2008
  • Title: Three cases of systemic atypical granulomatous disease in Moluccan cockatoos (Cacatua moluccensis): A new syndrome
Author(s): Cole, GA; Garner, MM; Carpenter, JW, et al.
Source: JOURNAL OF AVIAN MEDICINE AND SURGERY Volume: 22 Issue: 2 Pages: 127-137 Published: 2008
  • Title: Feather-picking psittacines: Histopathology and species trends
Author(s): Garner, MM; Clubb, SL; Mitchell, MA, et al.
Source: VETERINARY PATHOLOGY Volume: 45 Issue: 3 Pages: 401-408 Published: 2008
  • Title: Beak and feather disease virus infection in cockatiels (Nymphicus hollandicus)
Author(s): Shearer, PL; Bonne, N; Clark, P, et al.
Source: AVIAN PATHOLOGY Volume: 37 Issue: 1 Pages: 75-81 Published: 2008
  • Title: Administration of doxycycline in drinking water for treatment of spiral bacterial infection in cockatiels
Author(s): Evans, EE; Wade, LL; Flammer, K
Source: JAVMA-JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN VETERINARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION Volume: 232 Issue: 3 Pages: 389-393 Published: 2008
Thanks for those, some do look a little specific, but we can make some progress I think. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:55, 6 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Most of these are from teh neotropics, and hence don't cover cockatoos. Isolated cases are hard to justify including. I have been able to add a little on cloacal papilloma and feather plucking however. Tough going though. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:18, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The other one that looks promising is this..one, but I can only see the abstract, and is only a sample of a bunch of different feathered critters from one zoo. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:31, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Email me and I can send the PDF if you'd like. Close to 1000 fecal samples analysed... I pity the student who got that job :) Sasata (talk) 05:50, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, thanks for that. I think we've covered most salient disease material now (working up a real wiki-sweat here...) Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:19, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I think we're there. One small thing, I notice that the phylogram tends to squish to the left, squeezing the text, unless the browser width is relatively thin; this should be easily fixed by moving it down a paragraph. Have fun with the cockatoos in the snakepit! Sasata (talk) 06:56, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    Well written, interesting to read.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c(OR):
    Amply sourced, sources reliable. Recent scholarship consulted where appropriate.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Looks good to me.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    All images have appropriate free-use licenses.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
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