Talk:Climate change in Madagascar/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Femke (talk · contribs) 10:19, 23 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for writing about climate change in Madagascar! Nice short article, hope to finish my review today. Femke (talk) 10:19, 23 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

The first sentence is a bit awkward. Per WP:BOLDTITLE, you're allowed to not use the title of the article in the first sentence when the article title is more descriptive. You could change it to: "Climate change is a significant threat to the Madagascar's environment and people."
Climate change is resulting in average temperatures in Madagascar becoming hotter, with longer dry seasons and more intense tropical storms. -> the present continuous is a bit awkward tense to use. What about something like: "Climate change has raised temperatures, made the dry season longer and has resulted in more intense tropical storms". Temperatures are hotter is grammatically incorrect -> temperatures are higher, or the place is hotter.
Madagascar's population is highly vulnerable due to severe impacts on water and agriculture in Madagascar -> Don't insert the word Madagascar a second time just for the wikilink. Better to have a minor WP:EGG situation than awkward prose. There are more instances of this in other parts of the article.
First image caption: 'will become' for cyclones is too strong. There is some scientific uncertainty here, so 'are set to become' is more appropriate. Please look throughout the rest of article and reword similar statements (will --> is projected to, is set to, is predicted to, is likely..). Femke (talk) 10:55, 23 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Consider expanding the lead to two paragraphs. Femke (talk) 11:55, 23 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Body

Two estimates of overall warming 21th century warming: are they different because of improved estimates of regional warming, a different scenario, or different climate sensitivity?
Vegetation cover correlates strongly with the El Niño–Southern Oscillation, and the increase of the phenomenon due to climate change is predicted to further degrade Madagascar's environment -> I know the source using this terminology, but it's not quite correct. Is ENSO increasing? That would be the same as saying that seasons are increasing.. I'm not very versed in this debate, but I think the current main hypothesis/theory is that we'll see higher variability, and maybe more El Niños. (in the same analogy, we will be seeing a higher difference between summer/winter, and longer summers).
Rice production dropped by 75% between 2012 and 2014 -> what does this have to do with climate change? Over two years, you're looking at climate variability, right? Or was this caused by an extreme event made more likely due to climate change? Consider omitting.
At COP26, Environment Minister Baomiavotse Vahinala Raharinirina called for $100bn in climate finance from rich countries to help Madagascar implement adaptation measures, such as building a water pipeline from the north to the south of the island -> clarify that the 100bn is globally, not for Madagascar?
Proposed measures for adapting conservation in Madagascar include expanding protected areas and generating income by selling carbon offsets for reducing emissions from deforestation and forest degradation (REDD+ program): however as of 2021 government strategy for REDD+ was unclear. -> please rephrase, probably in two sentences. however should not be placed after a colon.
For accessibility, consider adding WP:alts to figures (optional).

Overall, the article is in good shape, and I'll pass it once the above has been addressed. No copyvio and the four sources I spot-checked beared out except for the will -> is projected issue. Femke (talk) 10:55, 23 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Femke: Thanks so much for reviewing, appreciate it! I have addressed all of your comments above. Note that I removed one of the temperature increase estimates, on the basis that after looking at the source it didn't seem as well explained as the first one and went in depth for several regions. It summarised this as "Overall, in the three studied regions, the average outdoor temperature increases to more than 3 °C per decade" - but welcome your thoughts if you think this should also be included. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 13:12, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, almost there.

I still see some statements with will, which implies near-certainty, not supported by the source. Take the sentence: Cyclones will become more intense due to climate change but less frequent, greatly impacting the country and increasing flood risk. The sentence now has three sources, none of which support this I don't think

Weiskopf: " cyclone intensity is expected to increase in the future"
Dunham: no relevant statement found
"During these past 25 years, the number of violent cyclones (with superior winds up to 150 km/h) has doubled."

Please check other statements with 'will' too.

I think the sentence:

"Proposed measures for adapting conservation in Madagascar include expanding protected areas and generating income by selling carbon offsets for reducing emissions from deforestation and forest degradation (REDD+)" makes sense if you omit the word adapting. You adapt by conservation, you'r enot adapting conservation.

—Femke 🐦 (talk) 17:16, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @Femke: - all now addressed :) Arcahaeoindris (talk) 08:34, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

One more thing that possibly exceeds the GA criteria. You use -ing verbs a lot. This does not meet the 'professional prose' criterion of FAs, but possibly neither the 'clear prose' criterion of GAs. If you want to write more engaging prose, you may benefit from doing the exercises at WP:PLUSING. Overall, I'm happy, so I'll pass the article. —Femke 🐦 (talk) 16:19, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]