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Talk:Cliff Thorburn/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:57, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Will review Thorburn's article as thanks for reviewing the 2002 Masters. MWright96 (talk) 20:57, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lead

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  • The Reference in the lead after Thorburn's birth date is not needed there but in the prose
  • "and winning the prestigious invitational Masters three times," - the word highlighted in bold is non-neutral
  • Maybe the third and fourth paragraphs can be merged into one
All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

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  • Any more information about his parents?
I've added a little based on Black Ball Farce & Cue Ball Wizards and a Guardian article. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He left school at the age of 16," - what school did Thorburn go to?
Couldn't find this information in any of the sources. I thought it might be in one of the 1950's articles about his lacrosse career, but it wasn't as far as I could see. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikilink snooker on the first instance only
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He spend time with Fred Davis and Rex Williams when they toured Canada in 1970," - typo; should be spent
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:06, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "he reportedly made a maximum break of 147 against Fred Hardwick." - in a tournament match, exhibition match or a practice game?
The Ottawa Journal doesn't say, but I found a little article about it in Billiards and Snooker magazine for September 1970 that makes it clear it wasn't in competition. Amended the text. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He won the North American championship in 1971, making six century breaks during the tournament, equalling the record for century breaks in a single tournament" - repetition of both the words "tournament" and "century breaks"
Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:06, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early professional career

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  • "Thorburn played John Spencer in a series of three exhibition matches in 1971, and although he lost all three matches," - repetition of "matches"
  • "and on the day he arrives," - day of his arrival,
  • "losing the quarter-final 12–19 to Eddie Charlton, and, the following year, lost 14–15 to Higgins" - repetition of "losing/lost"
  • Wikilink session on the first instance to the relevant snooker-related article
  • "winning against Willie Thorne and Graham Miles to reach the final, where he won 8–6 against Taylor." - repetition of "win/winning"
  • "Thorburn reached the final of the 1978 1978 Masters" - duplicate mention of the year "1978"
All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:08, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

1980 world snooker champion

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  • "then lost 3–5 to Griffiths in the Quarter-final." - the word in bold doesn't need to begin with a capital letter in this instance
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • wikilink interval to the relevant article
 Pending I couldn't find an appropriate entry in Glossary of cue sports terms, or a suitable standalone article for this. Is there any target that you can suggest please? BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with Higgins taking the following to the make it 11–11." - following two to level at 11–11.
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "before Higgins squared the match at 15–15." - equalised at 15–15.
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and made a 51 break after than to win the title." - typo; should be that
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thorburn is generally regarded as the first player from outside Britain to win the world championship, with Horace Lindrum's win in the match 1952 World Snooker Championship usually being disregarded." - repetition of "win"
Done. Also removed stray "match." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • What's the reason given for Lindrum's 1952 world championship victory being disregarded?
I've added a footnote to attempt to address this. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:16, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thorburn decided to move back to Canada." - return
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

1983 world championship maximum break

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  • Wikilink table to billiards table
  • "with Thorburn emerging as the winner,13–12." - needs to be a space between the comma and the number "13"
  • "on the day that he made his maximum break." - how about on the day of his maximum break.
All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:13, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

1984 to 1989

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  • " where he met Thorne, with Thorne winning five frames in a row after the pair had been tied at 8–8." - repetition of "Thorne"
Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "to win 13–8." - think there are several words missing from this sentence
Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikilink penalty points to the relevant article on the first instance only
Linked to "foul" in cuegloss. Let me know if there is a better target. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Think the second and third paragraphs should be merged together
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1988 Thorburn was fined £10,000 and two ranking points," - think there's a word missing to introduce the loss of two ranking points
Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The fourth and fifth paragraphs I believe should be merged together
Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Later years

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  • "In 2010, Thorburn returned to the UK to compete on the Snooker Legends Tour where he faced Alex Higgins, Jimmy White and John Parrott." - sentence is lacking a reliable source to verify that it's correct
Reworded and added a source. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:31, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

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Added. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 00:06, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Performance and rankings timeline

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  • There needs to be some text above the table so that the reference is not a floating one
Removed floating ref. Refs pending for New Zealand Masters, Pot Black (most years), and 2 x Canadian Professional Championship. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:24, 4 January 2021 (UTC) Added refs for previously-unsourced results. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:00, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Ranking finals: 10 (2 titles, 8 runners-up)

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  • Same issue as the one in the above sub-section
Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:28, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

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  • All four notes need to be cited to reliable sources
Added. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:58, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

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  • The authors can be linked where appropriate with the authorlink= field in the relevant references
  • Reference 26 "Embassy world professional championship" is lacking the page numbers
  • It should be stated in Reference 39 "Assetereum Masters Seniors Championship 2018" that is source is from YouTube through the via= field
  • The page numbers for Reference 42 "A Billiards and Snooker Compendium" need to be spaced out
  • Reference 54 "Other National Professional Championships – Canadian Professional Championship" is missing the accessdate
All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:54, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Shall put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:11, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for the thorough and constructive review, MWright96. Apologies for the silly errors that I'd left in. Let me know what else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:18, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@BennyOnTheLoose: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 08:56, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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