Talk:Classy Christmas/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hmlarson (talk · contribs) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Hello, I have begun the review and will be posting feedback below. As issues are addressed, please add a note indicating your changes to the relevant item listed below. Thank you. Hmlarson (talk) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for jumping on this one after the other one stalled.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Comment

Lead

• "The scenes that were filmed outdoors had to be crafted to look as if it were cold; in reality, temperatures reached into 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and above." Where was it shot?

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "Despite this, the episode was the highest-rated NBC series of the night that it aired" --> change to "on the night that it aired"

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Plot

• "leaving corporate to send" ---> consider changing corporate to "the corporate office"

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "either proposes to her" ---> remove s from propose

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "talking about her dirty toy" ---> change to "her damaged gift"

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "At the party, Jada begins to lose interest, but Pam and Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) try to find fun activities for her, but Andy ends up ruining most of them." ---> change last part of sentence to "try to find fun activities for her; however, Andy ends up ruining most of them."

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "Pam says that her husband Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) always gets her great Christmas gifts so she wants to give him one from her." --> change last part to "give him one."

• Done, and added a 'too'.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "Meanwhile, Jim agrees to a snowball fight with Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), but when he is first challenged outside, he eventually finds the doors chained and Dwight emerging from a snowman, throwing multiple snowballs at him and leaving him with a bloody nose." Can you split this up into 2 sentences?

• Did one better and made it three!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Production

• "her eighteenth writing on the series" ---> consider changing to "her eighteenth writing credit for the series"

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

• "The scenes featuring the snowmen were shot on the hottest day of the episode's shoot, with temperatures reaching above 90 degrees Fahrenheit." ---> consider adding where it is shot

• Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

Review checklist

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   A well-written article. I have a few suggested copy edits listed above; but overall, very well done.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Verified.

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: