Talk:Civil War Memorial (Savannah, Georgia)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 15:13, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this later today (after I, ironically, get out of my Civil War memory class, where we talk all about memorials and monuments). Kncny11 ^(shoot) 15:13, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

• Specify that it was not only renamed but rededicated to resolve a discrepancy between the infobox and lede, where the first sentence of the lede says it honors soldiers, but the infobox specifies Confederate soldiers
  • Added to lede.

Background and dedication

• "to erect the monument" → "to erect it" to eliminate repetition of "the monument"
  • Done.
• "raise more funds for the monument's completion" → "raise more funds for its completion" to eliminate repetition of "the monument"
  • Done.
• "requiring that the monument have" → "requiring that it have" to eliminate repetition of "the monument"
  • Rephrased section.
• ""due the common Confederate soldier."" → ""due the common Confederate soldier"." per MOS:LQ
  • Done.
• "By the Fall of 1874, the monument was completed" → "The monument was completed by the fall of 1874"
  • Done
• Mention a couple of the generals in attendance at the dedication
  • Added additional discussion on the ceremony, including several generals and the orator.
• ""lacking in charm."" → ""lacking in charm"." per MOS:LQ
  • Done.

Confederate Soldier statue

• Some articles use De Renne, and some DeRenne. I'll trust whatever your source says
• Clarify that "at his own expense" refers to De Renne, and not the statue soldier's expense.
  • Done.
• For the statue, simply called Confederate Soldier, De Renne and Richards wanted to depict a battle-worn soldier, which was rare at the time, as few Confederate monuments depicted soldiers. Rephrase to reduce repetition of the word "soldier".
  • Slight rephrase, removed last use of the word "soldier".
• ""... danced and fluted at home."" → ""... danced and fluted at home"." per MOS:LQ
  • Done.
• ""... manly struggle to avoid it."" → ""... manly struggle to avoid it"." per MOS:LQ
  • Done.

Additional statues

• Good!

Renaming and other proposed alterations

• WL Charlottesville, Virginia
  • Done.
• WL city council
  • Done.
• "Savannah - Chatham" → "Savannah–Chatham"
  • Done.

Vandalism

• "as part of George Floyd protests occurring both nationwide and in Savannah" → "during the nationwide George Floyd protests" (in Savannah is implied if it's nationwide)
  • Done.
• "the statue of Silence" to eliminate repetition of "statue"
  • Done.
• “Silence- No More” → "Silence—No More" per MOS:DASH
  • Done.

References

• Great!

General comments

• Article is stable
• Photos are relevant and available for use
• Earwig score is decent at 36.7%

Putting on hold until all issues are resolved. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 15:55, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

Started to address the points you made here, should be finished by later today. Thanks for starting the review, and if there are any further issues, let me know! -JJonahJackalope (talk) 19:02, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

Kncny11 Finished addressing the points you made in this review and added some information found in an additional source. I think it should be good to go now, and if there are any further concerns, please reach out. Again, thanks for the review. -JJonahJackalope (talk) 19:44, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

JJonahJackalope Excellent! Everything looks good, and I'll pass the article now :) Kncny11 ^(shoot) 19:48, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.