Talk:Christopher Tolkien/GA1

GA Review

Pass - MSincccc (talk) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 12:55, 3 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: MSincccc (talk · contribs) 15:07, 7 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks! Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:30, 7 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Chiswick Chap You are welcome. Hopefully we can wrap this up in time without compromising with quality. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 15:59, 7 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

1 It is reasonably well written.

a (prose, spelling, and grammar):

Short description could be modified to include (1924-2020) as per WP:SDDATES.
Added.

Could his full name at the time of birth be mentioned here-=]Tolkien was born in Leeds, England. Furthermore, his birth date could be mentioned here before his place of birth for clarity and in a way similar to most articles.
- Done.
Wasn't his full name at the time of birth Christopher John Reuel Tolkien?
- We don't use that except at the top, just once, which we've done already.

He won a place to study English at Trinity College, Oxford, still aged 17, but after a year and a half there he received his call-up papers for military service. The "he" could be replaced here with his surname/name (as is preferable to you) so as to start off the paragraph mentioning him. Thereafter, you may use "he" when its clearly that he, Tolkien, is being referred to.
- Done.

The prose could be finer if the above suggestion could be implemented throughout the article. I can still spot words like "his", "he",etc. in the opening sentence of the article.
- I've edited another; please feel free to make this minor tweak as it all looks fine to me already.

In 2016 Christopher won a Bodley Medal,... Omitted the comma given the article is in British English.
- Done.

Later, He followed in his father's footsteps, becoming a lecturer and tutor in English language at New College, Oxford in 1963. Please fix the typo in this sentence.
- Done.

The couple divorced in 1967, three years after their separation. Suggest this version.
- Edited.

Their son Simon Mario Reuel Tolkien is a barrister and novelist. Also delink "novelist".
- Edited.

Tolkien married Baillie Tolkien (née Klass) in 1967;... Rephrased sentence. If possible, please introduce Baillie Klass in a word or two.
- Edited; not much obvious to say here really.

In 1975 they moved to the south of France... Omitted the comma.
- Edited; BE uses such adverbial commas less than AE.

He felt that The Lord of the Rings was... We know that he's been referred to from the sentence preceding this one.
- Done.

Christopher Tolkien died on 16 January 2020, at the age of 95, in Draguignan, Var, France. Drop "Christopher". Also could a single-sentence long paragraph be avoided? It does not look good.
- Done. The sentence doesn't fit with the preceding paragraph so probably best just to leave it.

b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

Can reference number 1 be moved to the article body to comply with MOS:LEAD?
- Done.

He also drew the original maps for his father's epic high fantasy novel The Lord of the Rings. Introduced The Lord of the Rings.

Removed gloss.

2 It is factually accurate and verifiable.

a (references):

Some of the references need to be formatted in the standard form. Example- references 29 and 30.
- Done, but it's not a GA requirement.
  - It might not be a requirement here but only beneficial to make them now lest they end up at FAC in the future.
    - Whatever, but that's someone else's requirement for some other event at some unspecified future time, and should not be here.
    - Do you prefer a leaner review given that this is for a GA? In that case, I will have to go out of my usual way of reviewing articles.
      - No, standard weight is just fine.

Capitalisation in some of the article titles needs to be fixed so as to comply with MOS:TITLECONFORM. What about this?
- Added quotation marks. All section headings seem to be in "Sentence case" in this article, barring quoted phrases and titles of books, which are appropriately formatted. If there's something else, feel free to tweak it or let me know what it is.
  - References 2, 11 and 35 need to be modified as per MOS:TITLECONFORM so that the article titles have consistent capitalisation.
    - [2] and [35] use full "cite news" template, and the title matches the original.
    - [11] uses full "cite web" template, and as above.
    - I've read the MOS section and the refs appear to be compliant. Feel free to tweak them if you've seen some error.

b (citations to reliable sources):

c (OR):

d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3 It is broad in its coverage.

a (major aspects):

b (focused):

4 It follows the neutral point of view policy.

a Fair representation without bias:

5 It is stable.

a No edit wars, etc.:

6 It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):

b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Is it possible to trim the image captions?
Lead image: very short already.

Legendarium (navigable template): no, since the caption explains what the work is, and the text is shared with each of the legendarium articles.

Monsters & Critics: it's brief as it is.

History of Middle-earth: no, as the caption has to make 2 points, that it's analogous to the M&C approach just presented as an image, and that the framing includes a figure of the editor himself.

@MSincccc: - I think we're complete here? Probably just needs closing out. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:51, 6 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Chiswick Chap Yes. I will be going through the article again later this weekend. Do you require a spot-check? I have conducted one for each of my previous GA reviews. Sorry for the delay. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 12:45, 6 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Chiswick Chap (talk) 12:53, 6 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Spot-check

Sorry for the delay. MSincccc (talk) 16:42, 10 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

4- Done Can you provide the text from this source? Are there any other sources/news sites mentioning the same?
- "the entire family moved from Leeds to Oxford, where Christopher Tolkien grew up and where he attended the Dragon School and the Oratory School (Reading)." This is a major encyclopedia and a very steady source.
15 - Done
20- Done I can read French but it would be beneficial to the other readers if an English alternative could be provided here.
- Per policy, sources can equally be in any major language. The only French source in use is [41] Amalric in Var-Matin ([26] is actually an English translation of a French source), and the same content is largely covered by [39] and [40]; further, non-French speakers can just use Chrome or Google Translate to get an instant and pretty reasonable translation.
26- general: Is the used source a generally reliable one?
- Yes. It uses journalism from Le Monde, Die Welt and other major newspapers.
33- Done
39- Done
41- Done Could this reference be replaced with one from a reliable secondary British source?
- Possibly, but he was living in France at the time, so they reported events there. Wikipedia has no preference for British sources, indeed newspapers from all countries are reliable sources. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:15, 11 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  - You could use articles written in English rather than in French from reliable sources given that this is English Wikipedia. Do give it a thought. Meanwhile, I will go through the other sources. Regards. MSincccc (talk) 15:38, 11 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    - Added some English refs for your convenience, but per policy it is entirely all right to use refs in other languages, no language is considered any better than any other regardless of topic. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:52, 11 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.