Talk:Christopher Columbus/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 00:40, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

See below. I also have concerns this.

Manual of Style compliance:

See below.

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References layout:

"Google Books" is not the publisher for URL's linking to the site. For the actual publisher, visit each link and click "About this book" or consult the early pages of the book to find the publishers. Work/publisher parameters also should generally not end with things like ".org", ".com", or ".net" unless it is part of the website's name (i.e. Amazon.com). Also, consider using inline citations to the books used in "bibliography" and "further reading".

Citations to reliable sources:

All references are reliable.

No original research:

Definitely the article's weakest point. There are many unreferenced statements throughout the article, even numerous paragraphs without any citations. See below.

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Very detailed article.

Focused:

Slightly off-focus with the mere mentions of facts without connection/elaboration.

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

"both of which he luckily avoided", "poorly located", and "Columbus, an important historical figure" aren't really neutral statements

5. Stable?

No edit wars, content disputes, etc.

All recent work has only been to construct the article.

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

These images are tagged as missing some licensing information:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

No concerns here.

Overall:

Pass or Fail:

I'm very sorry to say that this article was nominated for GA prematurely, and I will not be placing the nomination on hold as my concerns are rather extensive. Images need to be fully licensed if claiming to be free, some copyediting is needed, and this is very underreferenced. After these are resolved, I suggest putting this up for peer review before renominating. Better luck next time.

Infobox

Why not use "born between 31 October 1450 and 30 October 1451" if this is used in lead?
"Roman Catholic" is used in the "religion" field, but never explicitly states he was Catholic anywhere else in the article or even gives a citation.
Include years married for Columbus' marriage
Add his parents Domenico Colombo and Susanna Fontanarossa
Remove all siblings except for Bartholomew Columbus since they don't have their own articles (not sure why, but standard is to only include siblings with separate articles)

Lead

Citations are generally not required in the WP:LEAD per WP:LEADCITE as the lead should summarize the rest of the article, though this could be an exception. I'm on the fence here. Why does the lead's opening sentence have "born between 31 October 1450 and 30 October 1451" but not use this in article body?

Early life

Link Columbus' brother Bartholomew (Bartolomeo) in his first mention
"Bartolomeo, Giovanni Pellegrino, and Giacomo were his brothers" → "He had three brothers, Bartolomeo, Giovanni Pellegrino, and Giacomo"
It would be useful to specify whether Columbus' siblings were older or younger than him.
If saying that Columbus did not write in his native language, it would help to say why.
Regarding where Columbus was originally from, include what scholars argue after "These competing hypotheses have generally been discounted by mainstream scholars"
"In 1477, he was possibly in Iceland"..... terms like "possibly" are discouraged per WP:WEASEL
"In the autumn of 1477 Columbus sailed"..... needs comma after "1477"
When mentioning his marriage, include the year he was married. Wouldn't hurt to include the name of his mother-in-law if mentioning father-in-law.

Quest for Asia

Background

The entire first paragraph needs to be sourced.

Geographical considerations

The following needs to be soured:

"Eratosthenes's results were confirmed by a comparison of stellar observations at Alexandria and Rhodes, carried out by Posidonius in the 1st century BC. These measurements were widely known among scholars, but confusion about the old-fashioned units of distance in which they were expressed had led, in Columbus's day, to some debate about the exact size of the Earth."
"He therefore estimated the circumference of the Earth to be about 30,200 km, whereas the correct value is 40,000 km (25,000 mi)."
The entire last paragraph of this subsection

Nautical considerations

"To return to Spain against this prevailing wind would have required several months of an arduous sailing technique, called beating, during which food and drinkable water would probably have been exhausted"..... this statement needs to be sourced, and "probably" is discouraged per WP:WEASEL

Quest for financial support for a voyage

Except for the image caption, the third paragraph, and the seventh paragraph, this section is entirely unsourced

Agreement with the Spanish crown

Why was Ferdinand Columbus (Fernando) not previously introduced in the article until now? Mentioning him here is good, though it would be better to first introduce him when mentioning how Columbus first met Beatriz Enríquez de Arana

Voyages

First Voyage

"Columbus remarked that their lack of modern weaponry and metal-forged swords or pikes was a tactical vulnerability"..... Columbus felt
These statements need citations:

"He kept sailing along the northern coast of Hispaniola with a single ship, until he encountered Pinzón and the Pinta on 6 January"
"After departing, and after reportedly being saved from assassins by John II of Portugal, Columbus crossed the bar of Saltes and entered the harbor of Palos on 15 March 1493. Word of his finding new lands rapidly spread throughout Europe."
"it is likely" and "Reportedly" are discouraged per WP:WEASEL

Second Voyage

"but it seems likely"..... unencylcopedic tone, and "likely" is discouraged per WP:WEASEL
"Pedro de las Casas, father of the priest Bartolomé de las Casas, also accompanied Columbus on this voyage"..... this doesn't really connect with much of the other text in this section
The following needs to be sourced:

The entire second paragraph
The list of islands
The entire fifth paragraph
"occurred when Columbus's men rescued two boys who had just been castrated by their captors"
"Among the ruins were the corpses of 11 of the 39 Spaniards who had stayed behind as the first colonists in the New World"
"However, La Isabela proved to be poorly located and the settlement was short-lived"

Third Voyage

The following needs to be sourced:

The entire third paragraph
The entire fourth paragraph
"An entry in his journal from September 1498 reads: 'From here one might send, in the name of the Holy Trinity, as many slaves as could be sold'"
"In 1500, the Crown had him removed as governor, arrested, and transported in chains to Spain (see "Accusations of tyranny during governorship" section below). He was eventually freed and allowed to return to the New World, but not as governor."
Using things like "See ______ below" is not really appropriate.

Fourth Voyage

"Help finally arrived, no thanks to the governor, on 29 June 1504, and Columbus and his men arrived in Sanlúcar, Spain, on 7 November"..... "finally" and "no thanks to" aren't really encylcopedic tone. This statement also needs to be sourced, and the rest this section is almost entirely unsourced except for the first paragraph, fifth paragraph, sixth paragraph, and most of the eighth paragraph.

Accusations of tyranny during governorship

The entire first three paragraphs are missing citations, and so is the ninth paragraph.

Later life

The second paragraph is missing citations.

Illness and death

The first, third, and fifth paragraph are missing citations.
"On 20 May 1506, aged probably 54, Columbus died in Valladolid, Spain"..... may as well remove his age since his exact birth date is not established, and "probably" goes against WP:WEASEL
"where they were placed on an elaborate catafalque"..... source?
"The location of the Dominican remains is in "The Columbus Lighthouse" (Faro a Colón), in Santo Domingo"..... needs to be sourced

Commemoration

The first two paragraphs are entirely uncited.

Legacy

There's a ^{[citation needed]} tag which should've been addressed before this review regarding Columbus being the first to "discoverer of America"
"Thus, it remains unclear what his true beliefs were"..... "Thus" isn't very encylcopedic, and this statement needs to be sourced
"The idea that he was the first person to envision a rounded earth is popular misconception. The rounded shape of the earth had been known to scholars since antiquity, and was common knowledge among sailors"..... source?
"The use of Columbus as a founding figure of New World nations and the use of the word "Columbia", or simply the name "Columbus", spread rapidly after the American Revolution. Columbus' name was given to the federal capital of the United States (District of Columbia), the capital cities of two U.S. states (Ohio and South Carolina), and the Columbia River. Outside the United States the name was used in 1819 for the Gran Colombia, a precursor of the modern Republic of Colombia. Numerous cities, towns, counties, streets, and plazas (called Plaza Colón or Plaza de Colón throughout Latin America and Spain) have been named after him. A candidate for sainthood in the Catholic Church in 1866, celebration of Columbus' legacy perhaps reached a zenith in 1892 with the 400th anniversary of his first arrival in the Americas. Monuments to Columbus like the Columbian Exposition in Chicago and Columbus Circle in New York City were erected throughout the United States and Latin America extolling him."..... needs source
"At the museum associated with the chapel, there are a number of Columbus relics worthy of note, including the armchair that the "Admiral of the Ocean Sea" used at his chart table"..... unsourced
"The term 'pre-Columbian' is usually used to refer to the peoples and cultures of the Americas before the arrival of Columbus and his European successors"..... not only is this unsourced, but I'm not sure it's even necessary to include in the first place

Popular Culture

I'm not sure the opening sentence is needed before the listings
The following is missing citations:

All of "In literature" except for the fourth and fifth listings
"In music" listings
"On screen" listings
The first three listings from "In sculpture"
"In Space" listings