Talk:Chika Ideal/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:14, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

"by Queen" that got me a little confused, thought you might have meant Queen (band)....

Really? Because directly in the sentence before it, it says "Ivy Queen". I've been told before not to keep using Ivy in front of Queen after the first instance.

Infobox says it was written by Martha Ivelisse Pesante... I know these are all one and the same, but could be confusing for a non-expert reader, unfamiliar with the topic in question.

Done.

Why have a ref for the first para of the lead and none of the rest of the lead? Everything mentioned in the lead should be within the article and expanded upon, so refs can go there.

Because, everything is mentioned and sourced in the article.

" precedent two" preceding two.

Done.

" took a hiatus from her musical career in 1999.[2] The 1999 hip-hop single," just reads a little odd that she took a hiatus in 1999 and released a single in ... 1999!

I assume since the single was released in February 1999, that the hiatus occurred after the release of the singles.

"lead single from the latter" latter doesn't make sense now.
"and its parent album respectively" sorry, are we still talking about Chika Ideal here?
A lot of the background deals with albums that are relevant to this song, why are we talking about them in such detail unless they have a tangible impact on this specific release?

Well, since this is the lead single from her next album I thought... anyways, I removed the previous albums.

No need to link London.

Fixed.

"which compliment" or "which complement"?

Fixed.

"describing the songs of the album" why not just "describing the album"?

Fixed.

" the first single from Real " haven't you already covered this?

Removed.

"reggaetón" this needs anglicising and linking.

Done.

"Ivy Queen in the music video for "Chika Ideal"." no full stop needed.

Removed.

Please ensure publication dates are of a consistent format, as are accessdates.

They are.

Why is it a 2004 single but a 2007 song?

The album was re-released in 2007, and the song was featured on it.

Just a first run through, so I'll put it on hold and give you a week to attend to the above before I revisit. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:46, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your review. — Diva Knockouts 19:21, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

More comments:

"Lyrically, the song is talking to the protagonists' lover. She assures him..." is the song a "she"? This needs rework.
- Fixed. Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" the music video for the song reached the top of the music video countdown" repetitive (music video). Perhaps "the song's video reached..."?
- Fixed. Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure ref 2 talks about "anticipation" (the word itself doesn't appear).
- Removed it, and I don't think we need it anyway. Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Queen got the offer to record" -> "got the offer"? horrible prose.
- Reworded. Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Don't link common geographical locations like London.
- Links removed Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"over lack of English pronunciation" -> "over her poor English pronunciation" perhaps, or similar.
- Fixed. Editor Eat ma talk page up, scotty! 12:52, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 15:37, 14 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]