Talk:Cherry Pop/GA2

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

In the image's alt, add a space after "be seen." and change the period into a semicolon
Capitalize the 'a' in alt so it's in the same style as everything else (just for appearance sake)
Remove the flatlist from genre as only one genre is listed

Change the digital download link from "digital distribution" to "music download"
Change 'from the record.o 'from Unlocked.'

'Regisor' is not a word
Remove the 'a' before choreography
Remove 'inside a white room'; it's unnecessary
Is it necessary that we include it topped the iTunes charts in Japan? I mean, Adele's "Hello" topped like 40some iTunes charts and none of it's mentioned in her article

Change section title to 'Background and composition'
Change 'Further working' to 'Further's work'; this sentence needs to be worded as there are too many clauses
Change "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'.[5] She also noticed influences..." to "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'; she also noticed influences..." (This means you should also move Ref #5 to the end of the sentence)
Say "An administrator of IasiFun..."
Remove the link to 'kiss'

Rename this section 'Critical reception'
Please provide a topic sentence, like: "Cherry Pop" received generally mixed reviews from music critics upon release.
I don't understand what the first sentence (the one about The Singles Jukebox) you have is trying to convey
Anthony Easton's review belongs more in composition than here
Remove the date from Hitfire's review; just say "Hitfire praised the song's chorus as being..."
'Chours' is not a word
Is 'trashy' a good thing?

Yes, it is.

Add 'like' before you list "her previously launched songs"
Change 'launched' to 'released'
Hitfire's review is overly long; could the last sentence be removed? And, are there more reviews available for this song? Perhaps you could look at album reviews for more...

Change to "On 12 December 2014, Stan performed both "Cherry Pop" and "Vanilla Chocolat" on an episode of Vocea Romaniei"
Italicize Vocea Romaniei
How is Ref #2 citing that is was performed during her tours? Isn't it the album's notes?

Move this section before 'Live performances'
Remove the photo of a tennis racket
Upload a photo of the music video under fair use to the article
I don't know if Stan's quote of the right side of the section is needed; could you reduce it and include it in the paragraph instead?

gets enlightened → becomes enlightened
gets a tennis racket → retrieves a tennis racket
before putting it down and giving it to a fellow dancer on her left → before returning the racket to a nearby dancer
Again, 'chours' is not a word
Synchroned is not a word
What do you mean by 'dressing wigs'?
multicoloured → multicolored
The last two sentences need to be reworded; there are far too many clauses in these sentences

Please add sortables to the charts; view Baby Don't Lie#Charts to see what I mean and as an example
Make the music video picture a bit larger
Remove the 'Reception' header' and remove an equal sign from the beginning and end of 'Critical reception' and 'Commercial performance'
Remove the 's' in "A 23-seconds sample..." under the audio sample

@Cartoon network freak: After this I'll pass the article; thanks for your cooperation. Carbrera (talk) 00:29, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This article needs a bit of work before passing, so I'm gonna put it on hold. Thank you. Carbrera (talk) 16:40, 25 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Carbrera Everything done and responded to one of your comments. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:08, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]