Talk:Cheetah Hunt/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 03:25, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 20:08, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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All that's needed are some copy tweaks, and you'll have a GA. 7-day hold to Adog. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 20:44, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

Lead

Remove comma after (97 km/h)
First {{convert}} in second paragraph needs an |adj=on

Fixed. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

History

Reflow the first sentence. Possibly: The concept for the roller coaster later to be known as Cheetah Hunt took seven years from conceptualization to completion.
Rose was inspired a scene in the Star Wars series, Return of the Jedi, Missing "by". I'd say "the Star Wars film Return of the Jedi". No commas as leaving out that title leaves readers guessing.
SeaWorld Orlando's roller coaster, Manta, Same here. SWO has multiple coasters, so that's not an appositive that is optional to include. That said, the comma "after" can be left in the context of the sentence Manta, with its combination of animal habitat and attraction (note the changed preposition).
Comma after "wanted". This is a Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences issue. Other issues of this type are denoted (C in S)
"Manufacturers" missing last R. The "among other manufacturers" should be set off with commas. The second use of "manufacturers" is a possessive, so 's.
MOS:LOGICAL: adjust the quote to be "Cheetaka", and not "Cheetaka,"
MOS:DATECOMMA: comma after 2010
"Cutscenes" is one word
The construction of the foundations were completed in October 2010: should be "was completed" as the subject "construction" is singular
The park announced on February 17, the opening date for the attraction to be in late May. This is an awkward sentence. Maybe The park announced on February 17 that the attraction would open in late May.
It was observed that the park was completing "walk-through tests" on the track, a measure to ensure the trains could safely clear obstacles in late March. Incomplete appositive: comma needed after "obstacles". (If the trains can safely clear obstacles in late March, can they do so in early April? ;) )

Fixed and changed all the grammatical errors here (for our sanity, I would hope the train would clear obstacles after the test and I see how that comma is important haha). Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ride experience

Is "Windcatcher Tower" a proper noun that merits capitalization?
Is "directional changing" an adjective that should be hyphenated? Should it be "direction-changing"?
Commas after "final launch" and "journey back".

For the most part. I changed the last two points. The first one I will still cite with caps per how sources use the term if that is ok. Additional: (Tampa Bay Business Journal) (Orlando Sentinel) Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Characteristics

The themed land surrounding both roller coaster and exhibit use... Singular subject, "uses" instead of "use"
"accommodated" maybe "acclimated"?
The ride's station is located in the former monorail station that was decommissioned in the 1990s, and is housed within the same building that is occupied by the Skyride. Drop the comma (C in S)
Each train is Cheetah Hunt exerts... is this supposed to be "in" or maybe "on"?

Completed, silly mistakes. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

many theme park enthusiasts — is this really "many"? would "some" be more appropriate?
Undo the contraction "isn't"
"well-received by", not from
This sentence needs more work than normal. He was also surprised that the train, "Despite having three head-snapping launches, the ride gets curiously slow at times," but still praised the ride for its final launch stating, "[It] sends you over a seemingly small parabola, a stomach-flipping surprise ending".

I'd paraphrase the first quote, drop the comma after it, and add a comma after "launch". It might look like this: He was also surprised that, despite "three head-snapping launches", the ride was "curiously slow" at times, though he still praised the final launch, stating, "[It] sends you over a seemingly small parabola, a stomach-flipping surprise ending." (Note the comma inside since we're quoting a full sentence.)
I really appreciate how you articulated the last quote, looks a lot better. Fixed the remaining problems here. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Other

The logo has a non-free use rationale, and the other media are all freely licensed. Alt text is provided for all images and is outstanding. What a glowup!
Earwig mostly catches "Busch Gardens Tampa Bay" and other proper nouns. No concerns.
References are archived.

Before I knock this all out tonight, I want to thank you for taking another review for me and my grammar mistakes! I'll make sure to review some policies more closely. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 23:43, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: Alrighty, everything should mostly be done. I again appreciate the review and the grammatical fixes. You really can see the difference! Let me know if anything else should be done or if you have any more guides I should look into. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:33, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Very glad. The one thing I'll note while passing this is that I know Metro is generally unreliable; however, in this case, we have an interview with Rose, and it is mostly written by him in first person. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 03:24, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.