Talk:Ched Evans/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 19:59, 31 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
" After an unspectacular first two seasons at Bramall Lane he scored 35 goals during the 2011–12 season." - Confusing. Is the 2011-12 season = the two seasons? Or is it something different?
That is the standard way of referring to seasons. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"With first choice opportunities at City limited Evans moved on loan to Norwich City in November of that year, " - I don't understand the first phrase.
Changed choice to team. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Who are the "Canaries"?
Norwich City, have swapped to Norwich. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"and just just"
Removed the second one.Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"Evans returned to Manchester City after his initial loan deal expired in January 2008 having made eight appearances and scored two goals.[9]" there should be a comma between the date and "having"
added a comma

"with Manchester City able to" - shouldn't it be "with Manchester City being able to..."?

"Evans joined Sheffield United for an initial fee of £3 million plus possible future add-ons on a three year deal in July 2009[15] making his debut for United in the first game of the new season; " - such a long sentence and no commas... but there should be one ahead the footnote
Comma added Bladeboy1889 (talk)

I am not a native English speaker, but I feel there are many commas missing. I will request a second opinion and I suggest you find someone who could copyedit this article.

" He become a regular member of the squad and in November 2007" surely it should be "became"? Or is he still playing for Wales?
Typo - changed to became. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"On 28 March 2012 Stuart Pearce the Great Britain Olympic football team manager was present at the match against Chesterfield with Ched Evans scoring a hat-trick and scoring his thirtieth goal of the season in a 4–1 at Bramall Lane. " - "On 28 March 2012, Stuart Pearce the Great Britain Olympic football team manager, was present at the match against Chesterfield, with Ched Evans scoring a hat-trick and scoring his thirtieth goal of the season in a 4–1 at Bramall Lane. " Also it could be reworded as the "with...+ing" is rather colloquial, and last scoring should be removed.
Removed the second scoring and revised the sentence slightly. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"Evans stated about the possibility of representing Team GB at the London 2012 Summer Olympics," - update?
I've reworded it slightly. Not sure what you mean by update? He is in prison so certainly hasn't been to the Olympics. Bladeboy1889 (talk)
Oops... Perhaps I did this mistake as I reviewed step by step...--Kürbis (✔) 13:32, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"After the death of former Wales boss and Sheffield United player, coach and Manager" - why is manager in capitals while coach is not?
Changed. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

"Evans revealed a message under his shirt after scoring his first goal in the FA Cup win over Torquay United which read:" - comma ahead which, and read - reads
comma added - read (pronounced red) is the past tense of read so that is correct. Bladeboy1889 (talk)
My mistake. I did not read it carefully. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 13:32, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

These are the major issues. The text may need a slight copyedit, but all in all it is ok for GA. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 13:26, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Updated the text accordingly. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:24, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Nevermind, I may finish today. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 08:19, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Pass Meets the criteria. --Kürbis (✔) 13:32, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]