Talk:Charles Stewart Parnell/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 16:53, 18 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
Family background: Suggest you adjust to link to Avondale House, the birthplace.

... so had a distant relationship with the British Royal Family; ... and distantly connected to the Royal Family. Repetition of detail.

... and as a boy he was sent to different schools in England; clumsy, suggest you drop different.

New Paradigm: This was followed by a telegram from John Devoy in October 1878 which offered Parnell a "New Departure" deal of separating militancy from the constitutional movement as a path to all-Ireland self-government, under certain conditions: abandonment of a federal solution in favour of separatist self-government, vigorous agitation in the land question on the basis of peasant proprietorship, exclusion of all sectarian issues, collective voting by party members and energetic resistance to coercive legislation Can we break up long sentences like this?

Parnell preferred to keep all options open without clearly committing himself when he spoke in 1879 before Irish Tenant Defence Associations at Ballinasloe and Tralee. Simpler would be something like: When addressing Irish Tenant Defence Associations at Ballinasloe and Tralee in 1879, Parnell preferred to keep all options open without clearly committing himself.

At a national level several approaches were made which eventually produced the 'New Departure' of June 1879, endorsing the foregone informal agreement which asserted an understanding binding them to mutual support and a shared political agenda.; clumsy and verging on unclear.

During Parnell’s highly successful tour, he had an audience with American President Rutherford B. Hayes, on 2 February 1880 he addressed the House of Representatives on the state of Ireland and spoke in sixty-two cities including in Canada, where he was so well received in Toronto that Healy dubbed him "the uncrowned king of Ireland"; again somewhat clumsy.

Land League leader: His activities came to an abrupt end when the United Kingdom general election, 1880 was announced for April and he returned to fight it.; which activities? Do you mean the American tour? If so, then say so.

Parnell saw the need to replace violent agitation with country-wide mass meetings and the application of Davitt’s boycott, also as a means of achieving his objective of self-government. Somewhat confused sentence.

Party restructured: Parnell was shocked to the extent that he offered Gladstone to resign his seat as MP. Poor grammar.

At the end of 1885, the highly centralised organisation had 1,200 branches spread around the country, though less in Ulster., again poor grammar.

Portrayal in fiction: This section is a bulleted list, use of which is discouraged by WP:MOS.

Overall: I have not cited every clumsy grammar construction as there are so many. I would like to see a thorough copy-edit of the prose, which at times is almost impenetrable. I am not asking for the article to be dumbed down, but at present it is hard to read with overly convoluted sentences, sometimes changing subject half-way through and poor phrasing. Good, clear English should be the aim. I shall look at this again when it has been copy-edited.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

I am going to put this on hold until it has been thoroughly copy-edited. I will allow 14 days for this as we are appproaching Christmas. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:30, 18 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There has been no response from the nominator so I will fail this nomination. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:23, 3 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]