Talk:Charles Sevin de Quincy

B class review

This is much better than an earlier effort and could be a B class article. Please make the following changes or argue your case for not changing them. There are a large number of footnotes for a fairly short article. I advise putting some of the footnote information in the article's text. See my comments below. Djmaschek (talk) 03:49, 15 July 2023 (UTC)

Thank you so much for your valuable suggestions. I of course gladly followed your advce. I have also replaced the url for the Histoire militaire with one which makes the several volumes of the work easier accessible. Ereunetes (talk) 20:35, 15 July 2023 (UTC)

@Ereunetes: B class. You have done everything that I asked in the bullet points below. However, please look at the last sentence of the article: "Retrieved 16 July 2023." A citation has somehow become part of the text. I'd fix it myself except I'm not sure what you intended. Promise me you will fix this. Djmaschek (talk) 21:53, 16 July 2023 (UTC)

Force of habit. I have been looking for a very long time in vain for a website where the book by Dumont and Rousset de Missy could be read online. Finally, today I found it on the site of the University of Barcelona. So I was able to provide an url. Usually one provides an access date for the guardians against dead links. The problem would not have arisen if I could have put the book among the sources for the article, but that was not appropriate in this case. So I put it in the text. But per your request I have now deleted the access date and also the "language=fr" parameter. Meanwhile I have left the citation on the Wikipedia pages for Dumont, Rousset de Missy, and the engraver, with the link, of course, and also put it in the sources for the Battle of Malplaquet article, where I could use it to put in a reference for the number of casualties and French POWs :-) Anyway, thanks again for your help with improving the article. Ereunetes (talk) 22:30, 16 July 2023 (UTC)

• Introduction: Footnote c leads to the following question. Do any of your sources say which wars Charles Sevin wrote the histories of? If yes, then the wars should be specified somewhere in the article's text and cited.
• Personal life: "Will" should not be capitalized.
• Personal life: The information in footnote e about his daughter's marriage could be added to the text without getting too far off the subject.
• Career, illustration: The information in footnote h should be put in the caption.
• Career, paragraph 1, sentence 1, word 1: He > Charles. (At the top of a paragraph, it's a good idea to name who you are writing about.)
• Career, paragraph 1: The information in footnote f should be part of the story. Please put it into the text.
• Career, paragraph 2: "he borrowed freely" > "Charles borrowed freely" (I got a little confused about who "he" was. Let's make it obvious.)
• Career, paragraph 2: Please put the English translation in the text and the original French in the footnote. It's one thing to use an occasional French word, but it's jarring for an English language reader to see a long quote in a foreign language. I know some French, but this was too much for me. Imagine the effect on the average reader.
• Career, paragraph 3: See above. Please put English translation in text and French in footnote.
• Career, paragraph 3: I hope the "Maybe" comment is from your source. The word "Maybe" makes it sound like the article writer's personal opinion.