Talk:Chaim Topol/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 23:35, 19 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This seems to have fallen off the GAN page somehow. Sorry it has taken so long for someone to get around to reviewing it. I will look at it over the next few days. AIRcorn (talk) 23:35, 19 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Nice article. Think it is very close

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Some suggestions in the comments below, but overall well written and presented
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Lots of cites to [1]. Probably too reliant on it if you wanted t get it to features status, but don't see too many issues for a GA. As such it has the highest risk of copyvio on earwigs tool [2]. Most of that is a direct quote so not really an issue. Sources are well presented and contain all information needed. There have been calls to cite filmographies and technically they probably should be. As a compromise can we at least get cites for the non-linked ones.

Please explain what you want me to do. The filmography chart was there before I expanded the article. Must I find a source for every role in every film? Yoninah (talk) 21:56, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It seems a little short for a biography of someone described as Israel's "only internationally-recognized entertainer". Again I don't think it is an issue for a good article as I can't think of anything actually missing. A google search doesn't present anything obvious either
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Not seeing anything to fail this criteria
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
Nothing in the article history or talk page to suggest any unstability
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Images are relevant and sll licenses look good
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Close enough to a pass, but have left some comments below you might like to review. AIRcorn (talk) 08:20, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

A lot of sentences starting with he in the lead. Might be nice to break it up with Topol.

Done Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

he was Israel's "only internationally-recognized entertainer" I feel that as it is in the lead it should be without quotes or if you want it to stay in quotes it needs to have some attribution. Even a simple "described as".

Fixed. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Twenty-three days after being discharged from military service on October 2, 1956, and two days after marrying Galia Finkelstein, a fellow Nahal troupe member, Topol was called up to serve in the Sinai Campaign If he was discharged how can he be calles up to serve in a campaign.
- Israel military service includes a 2-year compulsory service at ages 18-20, followed by reserve duty on a yearly basis. In case of a war, everyone is called up. I added a link to the article to distinguish his subsequent call-ups. Yoninah (talk) 11:00, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Topol assembled a kibbutz theatre company made up of friends from his Nahal troupe Is kibbutz needed here?

I think so. It's a theatre company specifically associated with a kibbutz or kibbutz members; see my article on Shulamit Bat-Dori. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

was tutored in the lyrics by an Englishwoman This sounds a bit archaic. Does she not have a name?

Sorry, that's what it says in the source. I tweaked it a bit. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prince was flabbergasted that this 30-year-old man had played Shabati Not sure flabbergasted is encyclopedic.

Changed. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

A few months after the opening, he returned to Israel to serve in the army during the Six-Day War in June. He was assigned to an army entertainment troupe on the Golan Heights. This doesn't really fit in the middle of that paragraph. Maybe it could be reworded to flow better.

Reworded and in new paragraph. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

sought an actor other than Zero Mostel for the lead role I assumed (and confirmed) that Tevye was the lead role, but it wasn't obvious from this article. Maybe a mention earlier that it is the lead would help the article.

Done Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

In that production, his youngest daughter, Adi Topol Margalith, played one of his daughters. A lot of commas in this sentence.

Done Fixed. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Topol originated the leading role of the baker What do you mean by originated the role.

Done Fixed. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Is there more context for the behavioral problems? It seems a bit vague at the moment, although it doesn't want t become too Undue.

I added a little more, though it's just one woman's opinion. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

directed by Joseph Losey Is there a reason to name drop the director?

No, sorry. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any more information on his music recordings?

I added more from the source. I did a search in Hebrew on Google, but there isn't much out there on his work from 50 years ago. Yoninah (talk) 21:56, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't see any mention of him being described as the only internationally-recognized entertainer in Israel. Generally we want all information in the lead to be presented in the articles body. If I missed it then just point it out and ignore this.

Added, thanks. Yoninah (talk) 21:19, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review! I will attempt to answer your questions shortly. Yoninah (talk) 11:00, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aircorn: I answered all your comments. I just have one question about the filmographies which you mentioned in your review, above. Yoninah (talk) 09:48, 21 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

There is divided opinions on filmograpies. I know WP:ITN won't post an article to the main page unless they are completely cited. The GA criteria is probably less strict than that. I was thinking that the minor ones that are not sourced in the body should probably have a cite. Stuff like The True Story of Palestine (Etz O Palestina). I didn't really explain myself sufficiently about the behavioral problems. I don't need or want more, I just felt they were presented a but vaguely. Given the current film climate my first thought went to sexually inappropriateness and if it is not this it might be better to be clearer on what it is. Not a big issue or one that needs anything extra to pass though. All in all I think we are good to go. P.S. I am on limited internet at the moment (home system has gone down) so don't be alarmed if I am slow in responding. AIRcorn (talk) 09:48, 22 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done Filmography fully cited. Yoninah (talk) 20:15, 22 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I did 2 versions of the citing for you. Here is the fully cited version, which makes for overciting of footnote 4 in the reference section. Here is the version with sources cited at the bottom of the chart. Please let me know which version is best. Yoninah (talk) 22:20, 22 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Either works as far as the GA criteria go so am passing this. I personally prefer the later, but the only issue could be if more is added ad is no longer covered in the source. Given his age that is unlikely to happen. Congrats on the good article. AIRcorn (talk) 08:31, 23 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Yoninah (talk) 10:40, 23 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article does not mention his brand of adult toothpaste for smokers. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 208.98.223.109 (talk) 14:53, 13 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Topol has nothing to do with ToPol toothpaste. ToPol brand toothpaste is a portmanteau of the words "tooth" and "polish." KJRehberg (talk) 19:05, 1 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]