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Talk:Case deBruijn/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 18:41, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]


I'll do this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 18:41, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • The first sentence is a lot to handle. Maybe just end it after placekicker and then say He played on game...

Early life and education

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  • When young, his family moved to a suburban community in Washington, I know this is silly, but you probably need to mention that he moved to America. his family moved to America, settling down in a suburban...
  • 1982 NFL Draft, only behind Rohn Stark you can delete , only

Professional career

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  • Was he a one-step kicker, or a three-step kicker? Can you clarify.
  • , who they had just released in favor of deBruijn a week prior repetitive to the sentence earlier. Can just delete.
  • He felt confident in camp, saying "I felt that I was going to have a chance. the repetition of "felt" isn't great. Maybe just He was confident
  • as part of the roster cuts either just "roster cuts" or "their roster cuts"

Later life

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  • Maybe tack on the mining company before Newmont.

References

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  • Ref #1 and #7, #12, #13 and #17 have a different date format.
  • Spot checks:
    • Ref #3 looks good.
    • Ref #6 looks good in both uses.
    • Ref #7 looks good.
    • Ref #10 looks good.
    • Ref #15 looks good.
    • Ref #18 looks good.
    • Ref #22 looks good.

Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:31, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.