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Talk:Cartoon Medley/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 02:26, 3 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
  • In the second sentence of the lead, you say that it is a collection of the programs, while it is obviously a collection of the programs’ theme music/soundtrack so make sure to make this clear.
Done – Rephrased. Carbrera (talk) 03:13, 3 April 2017 (UTC).[reply]
  • I do not believe you need the citation in the lead as it is used in the body of the article to support the same fact.
Done
  • The phrase vice president does not need to be capitalized to the best of my knowledge.
Since it is the title of a formal position, I'm gonna leave it for know; I hope that is all right. Carbrera (talk) 03:13, 3 April 2017 (UTC).[reply]
  • Could you possible revise the sentence about Porges’ opinion of the album, specifically how he wanted more material? It is just kind of in the middle of the paragraph without any real context or connection to the material around it.
I don't know how well I could rephrase it, so I created a separate paragraph solely for it; hopefully this is a bit better. Carbrera (talk) 03:13, 3 April 2017 (UTC).[reply]
  • The phrase “after being a fan of them for a long time” seems rather informal and the language seems rather weak, so I would strengthen this part.
Done
  • I do not believe the phrase “ended up” is necessary; it is a lot a little too informal.
Done
  • The final sentence of the first paragraph seems a little weirdly placed as the previous sentences were about the people involved. I would move this directly after the sentence saying how the album was released on CD and cassette tape.
Done
  • Do you have any more information on the content of the downloadable games and children’s activities? It seems rather vague at the moment.
Done
  • This is more of a clarification question, but do you have any information on the producers for the songs? If not, it is fine as it currently stands.
From the sounds of it, Baron and Kitabayashi did the production (and if any others contributed, they were left uncredited as nothing is mentioned about anywhere else in the album booklet). Carbrera (talk) 03:13, 3 April 2017 (UTC).[reply]
  • The official website seems to have some additional information that you can incorporate into the article, specifically the “special lyric-sheet so you can sing along”.
Done – Added this above in your other comment. Carbrera (talk) 03:13, 3 April 2017 (UTC).[reply]
  • I would put the CD and cassette in two separate cells for the “Release history” table.
Done
Final comments