Talk:Carson Beach, South Boston

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External links modified

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I have just modified 3 external links on Carson Beach, South Boston. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

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External links modified

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I have just modified 2 external links on Carson Beach, South Boston. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.bostonharborwalk.com/placestogo/location.php?nid=6&sid=45
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Classmate Feedback

Hi Henry! After looking over your article, I made some grammatical changes as well as some wording here and there, for example I moved around some of the wording in the introductory paragraph to read more clearly. I added internal links for you for those I could find. A few additional things I noted are:

- Add a year to the bathhouse renovation

- The sentence about the beach being a site of racial conflict feels a little out of place…I would try to integrate it into your intro. For example, you could say something along the lines of “Many significant events have occurred at Carson Beach, and it has even been the site of racial conflict in the past.”

- I added some wikipedia links to the body paragraphs

- Make sure you are consistent with your numbers and age formatting, anything over 10 you can typically just write the number and not spell it out

- I changed the phrase “the races were in question to even happen…” to “the races almost did not happen” because it read a little weird (I also changed some of the subsequent phrasing as well)

- Who was the head of the Currach Club in Dorchester? Might be good to mention their name

- You have some broken links in your references sections so make sure you fix those

Overall it looks good to me! You remained in the neutral point of view really well. Is there more you can add aside from "Notable events" to make the article even more substantial?

-MichelleBir. (talk) 22:02, 3 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Henry! Your article has substantial information and the structure works well. I agree with MichelleBir.'s comments. I reworded some sentences and restructured a few paragraphs to make them clearer. One last thing you might want to consider is to cite the first sentence under Memorial Day Skirmish. Let me know if you have questions! Sydneg (talk) 20:05, 6 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]