Talk:Carl A. Schenck/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Vortex3427 (talk · contribs) 10:05, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
- Sans the short lead, the article appears to be in good shape, so most of this are minor nitpicks.
- First round, going up to the Biltmore Forest School section. I'll do the rest of the article in another update and then do spotchecks in a third
The lead needs expansion to better summarize the article.Exact dates (including day and month) for birth and death should be sourced in the body..17th-century
shouldn't be hyphenated when it isn't being used as an adjective.- Would
However, [his grandfather]
be appropriate? I don't what the family was doing in the 1600s would really matter to what his grandfather did. Response That section was/is awkward. I reworded it; see if that makes more sense. Basically, his grandfather had a governmental position, which also appears to have been influential. I think it is important to mention that his family was prominent and wealthy. However, I can't combine that info the way I would like to because of original research restrictions. Bythird formerly trained forester
, do you mean "formally trained"?Vanderbilt first hired Gifford Pinchot as the estate's forester.
Response what is your suggestion for this?Linkvirgin growth
to Old-growth forest, and linksluice
Comma afternot Schenck's
Linksylvicultural
to sylviculturedid prove his worth to his employer
This is pretty vague; how?Changedid borrow
to borrowedSchenck wrote Vanderbilt that things looked bad
missed "to". "looked bad" is an informal phrase, maybe replace this to financial troublesSchenck long term
Schenck's long-term- link back pay Response There is not an article on back pay or back payment. Do you have another suggestion for a link?
- — VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 02:15, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
In the infobox (botany name),C .A.Schenck
has a misplaced space
- Starting from Biltmore Forest School
provide
providedhands-on, practical
Aren't these synonyms?the Vanderbilt's lands
Remove "the"ideology evolved
Is there any information on how it changed?linklongleaf pine
linkredwood grove
Bylong leaf pin
, did you mean longleaf pine?comma afterBiltmore Stick
written out
is an expression, use a more precise phraseAs a modern historian notes,
You already mentioned Hill earlier, maybe mention his name here?However modern historians
comma after "However"Maybe "Personal life" should be moved before the "Honours" section? It makes sense chronologically
- — VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 02:35, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
- @Rublamb: You can ignore those, I guess they were typos
- I've done a few spotchecks to verify. I also ran it through Earwig. It came up with over 80% identicality for the Duke University thesis, but that's only because of the quotes, so that seems fine. I think it's okay to pass this article now. — VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 21:41, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks. I am still going to work on the remaining comments. Your thoughtful review was very helpful. Rublamb (talk) 21:43, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.