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Talk:Carey Mulligan/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

This is a very good read and, for the most part, was well-written and well-sourced. I've made a few minor tweaks here and there myself, which can be seen in the history section. There are a few changes that need to be made before it's ready for GA, but I'm confident they can be addressed quickly and easily. Please respond to each item line-by-line and I'll strike them as we go... — Hunter Kahn 17:47, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and career beginnings

  • "Her father, Stephen, was originally from Liverpool, and her mother, Nano (née Booth), a college lecturer, came from Llandeilo in West Wales." Ref tag #2 (currently this) is used as a source for this information, but unless I'm missing it, I don't see any of this information in the source?
I removed the information Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 22:10, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...an older brother named Owain." According to the source, it seems this should be "Owen", right? There is another reference to the name Owain in the King and I quote that would also have to be fixed, especially since that's actually in a direct quote...
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:10, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "For her high school education, she attended Woldingham School, Surrey." This isn't reflected in the sources, at least not that I can see...
I removed the information. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 22:00, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • It seems you are using tag #2 (again, currently this) along with other sources for bits of information that aren't actually reflected in the source. (For example, about attending the International School of Düsseldorf or about attending Woldingham School, Surrey.) Any particular reason you use that source so much?
I removed the information.
  • "In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter Mulligan acknowledged that since the age of fourteen..." Unless it's detrimental to the information, you should tend not to include the name of the interviewing publication in the prose of the article. This should just be changed to, "Since age fourteen, her mother..."
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:25, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In an interview with The Times she stated that, before she began professionally acting..." Again, drop the reference to the Times and just start with, "Before she began professionally acting..."
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:25, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...who suffers from Alzheimer's, had "stamped her so much"..." I find this phrase a bit confusing. Perhaps you could just paraphrase it to something like "had been a strong influence on her" or something like that?
I reworded the sentence to "Mulligan stated that her grandmother, who suffers from Alzheimer's had been a strong influence on her, that if she ever does go to university, she would choose to study psychology to have a greater understanding of the disease.". Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 22:13, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Early work

  • "Mulligan received the role with help from her school's headmistress stating, "I wrote to [her] explaining that I didn't want to go to university and wanted to get in touch with [Julian Fellowes.]"" This quote is so choppy and unremarkable, I think it would be better to paraphrase it than use the quote. Also, we need some context as to who Julian Fellowes is.
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:33, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Throughout 2006 she found work by appearing in the TV series The Amazing Mrs Pritchard opposite Jane Horrocks, as well as guest-starring in "The Sittaford Mystery", an episode of ITV's Marple, and playing Emily Harrogate in the Trial & Retribution serial Sins of the Father." This info needs a source.
I added IMDB as a source, would that be consider acceptable/reliable? Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:17, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mulligan's guest appearance on Doctor Who earned her a Constellation Award for "Best Female Performance in a 2007 Science Fiction Television Episode"." This also needs a source.
I removed the information. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:21, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Critical success

  • "...playing one of bank robber John Dillinger's regular prostitutes." Technically, the source doesn't reflect this. I'm willing to let it go and just consider the movie itself a primary source, but it wouldn't hurt if you could throw in a secondary source specifically saying she played one of Dillinger's regular prostitutes...
 Done I added a reference. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:07, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Despite Public Enemies reaching blockbuster status with the worldwide revenue of over 200 million, the film received fairly positive critic reviews." I'm kind of confused why this is worded to say despite a good box office performance, it got good reviews. Those two don't seem to contradict each other...
I reworded the sentence to "Public Enemies was a commercial success, reaching blockbuster status with the worldwide revenue of over 200 million,[1] although the film was not a critical success, receiving fairly positive critic reviews.[2]" Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:00, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • This source said she briefly appears topless in The Greatest. I feel like this probably warrants at least a brief mention.
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:40, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...plays the wife of a soldier accidentally killed by one of the three lead characters in the film." I don't know if you've seen the film, but Maguire's character didn't "accidentially" kill her character's husband. He was forced by his Afghani captors to kill him...
 Done I reworded the sentence to "played the wife of a soldier who was forced to be killed by his Afghani captors in the film.[1]". Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:53, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mulligan stated in an interview at the Sundance Festival that she received her role as Cassie in Brothers after sending an audition tape to the United States and while filming her scenes her dialogue was mainly improvised, referring to it as a "trial by fire"." First of all, I again don't think you have to mention in the prose that this interview was done at Sundance. But more importantly, the trivia section of IMDb is not a reliable source. I was OK with your very limited use of IMDb elsewhere in this article, but in this case, we need to either get a new source, or get rid of it altogehter.
I removed the information. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:53, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...and despite having a fair amount of revenue..." This statement seems to violate WP:OR since you are drawing that conclusion, not the source. Perhaps that part should be dropped. Also, since the source says it made $32 million, doesn't that mean it did recoup its $26 million budget?
I removed the information about the budget and revenue. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:52, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film's creative team were initially concerned over the age difference but after seeing her screen test, felt confident about her casting." Again, the IMDB trivia section is not a WP:RS. We need to find a new source or drop this altogether.
I removed the information. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:05, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...the film performed poorly at the box office, making only $8.2 million." This seems to need an update, as the source says it made $12 million. Same for the next sentence, because the source says it made $9.98 million domestically, not $7.9 million, and $2.02 million foreign, not $280,000.
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:03, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Her performance also garnered her Golden Globe, Academy Award, Screen Actor Guide Award and Critics Choice Awards nominations." This currently sits in the middle of a bunch of sentences about praise from various reviewers. I think this sentence should be moved to the end of that paragraph to differentiate it from the other review comments.
 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:41, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film centres on an alternate history story of a woman who reflects on her school life on the English countryside and reunites with two of her friends as she faces "dark secrets tied to their communal past." I'd rather you use a non-IMDb source for this info. It's not as crucial as replacing the IMDb trivia sources so if you simply can't find another one, I'll let it go. But I'm sure you can find another secondary source for this bit, and if you can please replace it. At the very least, you need to change the wording so it's not exactly the same as the IMDb source, which borders on plagiarism...
I removed all the information on the films plot. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:39, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...and is also contracted to star in a film version of the Royal Court's Seagull." Please wikilink "Royal Court" and "Seagull".
I reworded the sentence to "and is also contracted to star in a film version of the The Seagull[30]" Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:34, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mulligan is also set to star in the 2011 film entitled The Electric Slide; the film is currently in pre-production." This needs a source.
 Done I removed the information because I couldn't find proper sourcing. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 20:28, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work! I'll place this on hold for now. — Hunter Kahn 17:47, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think that I've fixed all the problems you've listed, if there are anymore please let me know. Thanks, Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 22:18, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA Checklist

[edit]
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Offline source accepted in good faith.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Well done! That's a pass! — Hunter Kahn 22:40, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks! Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 23:20, 14 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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